Less than
by Kellifer Monkey
Summary: Alternate ending for season 2 and the consequent summer. Jack finds it hard to come to terms with what he has done and what kind of man he has become. He leaves LA and tries to find a way to rebuild his life. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter One

You called out. You never expected an answer, thought you'd have been long forgotten. After all you'd done, you had begun to think you deserved all this misery. Everyone you loved ended up getting hurt or destroying themselves in one way or another, it was your fate to hurt people, it was your job. Oh yes, you were supposed to protect them, but a damn fine job you've done of that, eh Jack?   
  
Alone… out of choice not necessity, remember that Jack! You chose to live like this; you chose to live alone far from any friends, your remaining family, from anyone who might be able to touch your heart again. That had let you down in more ways than one, and the fear was it would continue to do so. You feel like half a man now, less than…  
  
Are you going to let it all begin again? Are you going to ignore the chance, the invitation, and the answer to your cries? Is the fear of the vicious circle winding up around you, too much to even contemplate opening up just once more?  
  
"That's not the answer." You tell yourself. Though, you've been perfectly happy to send a retrieval team to the bottom of a bottle for the past three weeks in search of one. What would Teri think of you now?  
  
"Teri's dead!" your voice stabs out into the stale air, it cracks on her name and sounds unrecognizable. When was the last time you heard it? The way people avoid the word, like they avoid saying 'cancer'. Is that what she has become? Your wife… the one true love of your life… synonymous with disease? Was there a cure? Did you always sound this weak? You haven't spoken to anyone but the pizza guy since you paid the apartment rental almost a month ago and that was hardly intelligent conversation! That's why you spend all day listening to your mind chastising everything you do and have done.  
  
How could you do it Jack? How could you leave her? 


	2. Chapter Two

He walked across the room barefoot in shorts he hadn't changed for a week and an old shirt he'd bought from a thrift shop to replace the CTU flak jacket he'd worn for three days. He'd left that night before he could think of a reason to make him stay. Simply walked away from the scene of the crime, from his weeping daughter, from the woman he had trusted with her life. Knowing even then he was doing the wrong thing, but there comes a time when you can't take anymore, when your heart gave out and in a way no adrenaline or electricity could fix.   
  
"She is better off without me." He said to himself in the dingy little apartment he'd rented, it smelt of damp and old smoke; the lighting did nothing for his mood and he felt like this was the winter of his life. What now, was there to live for? Could he salvage anything from the piteous mess he'd become? If he'd stayed maybe things would have been different, if he'd admitted he'd made a mistake and comforted Kim there and then… but no, he'd raced away and packed a bag, nothing to remember them by but a photo.  
  
Teri's mother had taken it three Christmases ago, Kim had wanted to go home early to see Vincent and Jack had convinced her to stay for Nana's sake. He'd understood how to be a family then. He'd cheered her up and let her win at charades and Teri had given him a knowing smile when he pretended not to know the name of Kim's favourite movie ever. Of course he knew what it was, he knew everything about his daughter… at least he had… once… before all this happened.  
  
"She is better off without me."  
  
He fled that night from his mistakes, from his pain, from those that would help him if they could, but the guilt followed him everywhere. He told himself it was for the best. Best for whom exactly? Certainly not his daughter, who needed him more than ever now. No he'd done this for one person, himself. 


	3. Chapter Three

It's too much to believe that she could have smiled at you out of the kindness of her heart. There has to be more to everything, nothing happens without a reason. She wants something from you, like the others, they all want to play with you like a rat in a maze.   
  
Run this way Jack, here's what you need to make it all go away, here's your prize, the answer to all that you seek; in places inside yourself that you didn't even know existed. Here it is, just reach out… and then I'll close it all off to you, it'll all be a lie. If you're strong, we'll make you weak. If you stand up to us, we'll smack you down. Physical pain isn't everything Jack, we'll find a way in somehow… everyone has a breaking point Jack, everyone!  
  
Sitting in the stark kitchen on a rickety steel framed chair he stared at the bottle of pills and wondered just how weak he really was. How could someone be strong enough to give their life for their country one minute and fall apart the next? The answer was simple enough to Jack right now; he didn't value his life then, it's never hard to throw away a piece of trash is it?   
  
The pharmaceutical label on the bottle had printed his name in black and white and his date of birth as though it was leaving room to fill in the date of his death too. A little printed ticket to take him away from all this mess. Could he take it?  
  
Something stopped him; there was still something that gave him hope, someone who, maybe, thought he was more than trash.  
  
She looked familiar somehow, the girl across the hall. But she wasn't anyone you could fit to a profile. No match was found in that file cabinet of a memory you held and now you lie on the couch listening to a football game you told yourself you really wanted to watch and you can't even remember the score from before the ad break.   
  
No one knows where you are. How could she know you anyway? God knows you don't even recognize yourself anymore. But part of you recognized something in her as she smiled around her closing door, clutching a pile of brown and white envelopes and plastic wrapped magazines. She wore a dark blue robe and slippers and seemed embarrassed to be seen first thing in the morning. She was embarrassed! He looked at what he'd become, he hadn't shaved in three weeks and his hair was lank and dirty, he smelt of alcohol and cigarette smoke, and she was embarrassed that you saw her with messy hair and sleep in her eyes!  
  
Jack got up and flicked off the TV set, his apartment wasn't particularly pleasant either, in the run-down part of town and only one living room with an uncomfortable bed in one corner behind a screen and a kitchen and bathroom running alongside. Maybe left over pizza would ease his emptiness.   
  
It didn't.   
  
It didn't even ease his hunger. Picking up the phone he considered, as he always did, calling Kim. Teri would be ashamed of him, the way he'd walked out on their daughter when he'd put her in danger. Christ what was he thinking sending a stranger to pick her up, surely someone at CTU would have been able to go, Tony? Michelle? She'd been off-site only minutes later, what made him ask Kate to do it? What kind of fool was he? His training came to nothing when he had a thing for a woman!   
  
She'd been strong and yet vulnerable, like Teri, only Kate didn't have even an ounce of what Teri had. His wife had been a kind and generous woman, who had time for everyone, who gave him more of her love than he deserved and forgave his mistakes. How he wished he'd never met Nina or Kate. But at least Kate was dead, she couldn't hurt him again and Nina was behind bars.   
  
While he was living in his own little prison; denying himself any pleasures or any peace of mind. His conscience punished him more than any prison guard could.  
  
Yet there was one glimmer of hope, one pleasure that he found it harder to deny.  
  
"Don't be stupid Bauer; it's that kind of thinking that gets you in this kind of trouble. You can't hide your problems in her." He muttered to himself. Get some food and clean yourself up, what was it the Division therapist told you? Improvement on the outside will eventually lift your spirits enough to improve things where it counts.  
  
"Hmm! Easier said than done!" She hadn't turned her daughter into a vicious killer in the passing of a day.  
  
Jack called for pizza, took a shower and changed into a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt, which were crumpled from lying in a bag for days. He smoothed down his shirt and saw that he was shaking again. Who was he trying to kid? It wasn't just his mind that needed fixing, his heart had given out that day, and he was lucky to be alive at all. He'd seen a doctor once he made it out of California. It felt easier to stop running a while when he'd put some distance behind him. He had pills, when he remembered to take them.   
  
"You should have stayed dead Jack!" he spat at his own reflection in the mirror. "What good are you to anyone now?" 


	4. Chapter Four

The doorbell buzzed and brought him out of his reverie; he turned on his heel and went out to open the door.   
  
"Medium pepperoni." Said a short black haired teen with pimples and more grease in his hair than Jack had just washed away. Jack reached for his wallet and handed over the crumpled notes,  
  
"Thanks." He watched as the pizza guy left the hallway whistling a tune he vaguely remembered but couldn't name.  
  
"Excuse me?" came a voice just out of his peripheral vision. "I'm sorry to bother you, I locked myself out, you couldn't…"  
  
Jack looked round and saw that it was her. He felt self-conscious and awkward; social interaction felt alien to him since he left L.A. In fact he hadn't felt comfortable around anyone since Teri died. People made him consider himself too much… how he looked… how he acted… what he'd done and…what he'd become. Those were things it was too hard to think about now. He looked away.  
  
"Sorry, it's okay I'll go and call the super…" she said moving back towards her front door. His mind raced, why was every part of him saying something different? Don't listen to your feelings Jack, they always betray you. She'll use you like the rest, she'll break what's left of your heart if you… She only wants me to open the door for God's sake!  
  
"Wait!" he said shortly, could he muster a smile? Just to show he wasn't as bad as he looked. "That guy's a letch and he's probably wasted anyway…" Listen to you Bauer; do you think she sees you any differently right now?  
  
"I'll get something to open it." He said finally meeting her eyes and smiling awkwardly, for a second she returned it too, with her eyes, an honest and gentle smile that seemed to hurt when it faded. He went to the kitchen and dropped the pizza on the table then took a credit card from his wallet and went back out into the hall. She was waiting next to the door looking down at the floor and listening, but for what he didn't know.  
  
She moved out of his way as he drew close and jimmied open the lock in just a few moments.  
  
"Wow! I don't think I should ask what you do for a living, that was quite impressive. Thank you." This time the smile remained and he had the chance to make more effort to not look like a loser.   
  
"It's no problem!" he muttered, watching as she bit her lower lip and blinked as though she had something in her eye. He wasn't sure whether or not to go and looked down at his feet willing them to decide for him.  
  
"My name's Laura, I meant to say hi before…" he looked up relieved that she'd given him an answer. Every decision, even when to get out of bed; felt like a trauma. He'd made life changing decisions in seconds before and now he couldn't even make up his mind to put socks on!  
  
"Jack." He said putting his card in his pocket and holding his hand out to her. Laura had soft hands and bitten nails like his own. I wonder what drives her to do that. He thought to himself as she shook his hand firmly but without much force.  
  
"Well… err…" she stammered a little as she spoke, what did she have to be nervous about? He knew he ought to go but his feet didn't seem to want to move and if she hadn't slid her hand from his, he probably wouldn't have let it go. He missed having some kind of emotional attachment, he'd found it strange when Kim had told him she loved him; found it awkward to bring forth a reply. Had he lost all sense of how to show affection or was he in such urgent need of some that it felt like a curse even to think of it?  
  
"I feel dumb saying this…" He heard Laura say in a timid voice that seemed far off from where his mind wandered. "Would you like to have a drink or something… just to say thanks, you know?"  
  
He nodded, it seemed involuntary. "Do you want to share a pizza?" 


	5. Chapter Five

Laura pushed open the door to her apartment and moved like a whirlwind round the place trying to clean up; if she'd only seen the inside of Jack's hovel it might have saved her some time and energy. It hadn't seen a duster for a while but her Mom had cleaned up the dinner things before she left and Alfie's toys were all carefully put away in his toy chest or in his tiny room.   
  
She looked round the door and saw her son sound asleep, sucking his thumb and hugging his scruffy looking teddy bear, Bilbo. She'd meant to get milk on the way home and forgot with all the fuss on the subway making her late. Her Mom, Janice, was supposed to be going on a date, so it was bad enough that she was half an hour late let alone asking if Janice could wait with Alfie while she ran down to get some. Thank goodness Jack had been there.  
  
There was a tap on the door behind her and she swung round, anxiously pulling the door closed to her son's room; she went to welcome Jack in. and smiled a little shyly. It had been a long time since she invited a guy round to the place, despite Janice's best efforts at match-making none of the guys were really worth coffee let alone anything else.  
  
"Come in Jack, sorry it's a bit of a mess, I've been working a lot this week." He shrugged and gave her an awkward smile. He'd put a blue shirt on over the black t-shirt and some sneakers, though as he sat down on the couch, she smiled to herself seeing he still hadn't managed to find any socks. She thought it was only Alfie who had that particular quality.  
  
"What would you like to drink? I'm afraid I don't have any milk so if you want coffee or…"  
  
"I don't mind, whatever you're having?" his eyes fluttered a little and he looked away. If you looked past the gruff exterior he was really quite cute, she thought to herself pouring out a couple of glasses of soda and taking some napkins and a couple of plates over to the couch.   
  
"You have a real nice apartment Laura, if it started out as bad as mine it must have taken a lot of effort." He spoke softly, carefully as if he was scared of saying the wrong thing. She sighed to herself, realizing a guy this nice had to have some awful dark secret to be living in this dump.  
  
"I've lived here about six months, I painted when we first moved in but I haven't done much, the pipes still leak in the kitchen and the bath water comes out kind of murky… do you get that?" God, how dumb did she sound, he must think she was a complete lunatic.  
  
He watched her talking and the words washed over him, it was nice to have company other than the TV set.   
  
'Don't let this sway you Bauer, you don't know her, sure she's pretty, so was Kate. She seems to want to get to know you… is that just so she can screw you up like the rest, take advantage of you like Nina? Who was she talking about too? The 'we', was she married to someone you hurt once, who wanted revenge? Don't fall Jack. Don't let yourself do this again!'  
  
"Sorry I didn't mean to sound… well everyone in this block, no offence but most them are losers and like you said the super is a letch, It's not too good being a single mom in this place." He looked surprised; obviously he hadn't noticed the Disney collection on the shelf or the photos on the dresser. Oh well it was pleasant company for a while.  
  
"I didn't know you…" he began, feeling a little guilty for being so sceptical of her.  
  
"It's okay, it's only supper right, I just thought since you were so kind as to help me out, maybe you'd know more about plumbing than I do. I wasn't…"  
  
Jack fought his conscience and the fear screaming at him to stop thinking those thoughts. He reached out and touched her hand. "It's okay I understand." He said with a trembling voice.  
  
Could he tell her? His instincts told him he could, but how much could he trust them these days? His instinct had been to run from his daughter and any responsibility and just get away. It was the biggest mistake of his life. What would she think of you if you told her Jack? She sure as hell wouldn't let you in her apartment again if she knew what a bastard you really are.  
  
"Dating sucks at the best of times!" he said trying to force a believable smile across his thin lips and wishing that Special Forces training covered flirting 101. 


	6. Chapter Six

The sun fragmented off the cracked window pain and Jack squinted and rubbed his eyes. The rain that had hammered down on the shop canopy below his window all night, and lulled him to sleep, had finally stopped and it was a bright morning. Surprisingly he didn't feel quite as bad as usual, the bed still hurt his back and his apartment was still as grim as it was the night before, but there it was… the night before.   
  
He got up and went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. The reminders were still there, and the scars on his chest would always remind him of that day and with it, all his failings. But for once he'd done something good.   
  
Okay it wasn't much but Laura had explained to him how grateful she was and how bad she felt leaving her seven year old son alone even for a moment, to her it was a lot and somehow that really made a difference. He ran the murky bath water and smiled before he could tell himself he didn't deserve to be happy.   
  
He spent over an hour in the bath, it was unusual, even before all this that he had the time, someone was always calling up with some problem that only he could fix, it came with the job. Though now he had no job, and no one would call him up. Surely that would make him feel miserable but in actual fact it had the opposite effect. He lay back and dipped his head under the water to rinse his hair then wiped the soap suds from his face and felt his straggly beard. Okay it didn't matter, he didn't have to look good, he didn't have to look professional… but the beard had to go all the same. He got up and wrapped a grubby towel round himself and went to find the razor in his bag.   
  
"I'm doing this to make me feel better, like the therapist said." He firmly told his reflection. His unrelenting conscience had other ideas.   
  
When he was done shaving he used the scissors to cut his hair, he hadn't done a very good job but at least he no longer looked like a hobo. He put on his last pair of clean pants and a white shirt and some shoes. Then he took a deep breath and opened the door into the hallway and walked over to knock on Laura's door.   
  
'Who are you trying to kid Bauer? Yeah! You did this for yourself! Sure you did!' 


	7. Chapter Seven

His heart sank on the third knock, no one was home and it felt like he'd wasted his time. 'Now you look like a fool don't you?'   
  
"Oh fuck off!" he muttered walking back into his apartment and closing the door. He sat on the couch in front of the blank TV screen and contemplated what to do next.   
  
Now there were two sides to his mental anguish, the side that told him to stop acting like a child and go and fix his life in L.A. and the side telling him the only way to fix things was to fix himself and thanks to last night, he knew exactly where that fixing would begin. It didn't really hit home that he'd stopped looking at his heart pills and thinking about how long it would take him to overdose on them. The third option was no longer viable.  
  
After an hour he decided to clean up, mainly because he was sick of staring at the same pile of junk and feeling miserable and lonely. When everything was clean he went to throw out the mass of pizza boxes and other detritus of his month long binge. A young girl was sat on the stairwell smoking, he'd seen her before. She lived on the floor below and looked like Kim when she was about twelve years old. A stab of guilt hit him and he wanted to cry.   
  
"Not now Jack, not here, come on you're stronger than this."  
  
"Hey mister?" she said as he walked past her, "You got a quarter? I have to call my Mom." He looked at her stunned, seeing only Kim.   
  
"Well do you or don't you?" she said with a stern glare. He reached in his pocket and handed her a few dimes without saying a word. She thanked him and walked quickly down the stairs.   
  
Where was his daughter now, he wondered. He hoped she was with Aunt Carol or a friend or that someone was taking care of her, but in his heart he knew the likelihood of her being in jail was pretty high. 'Who are you trying to fool with this Bauer? You are still a bastard however much you clean yourself up.' He dumped the trash and went out the front of the building to smoke.   
  
"Nana can we have McDonalds for dinner, Mom only made me sandwiches this morning and she had pizza last night I saw the box in the bin!" Jack looked round and saw a skinny little kid with wavy blond hair and big brown eyes, frowning at his grandmother while she told him he was going to have a proper meal and if Mommy was silly enough to eat the pizza from Costa's Pizzeria then that was her problem.   
  
Jack laughed to himself and Janice turned round and gave him a wary look. He nodded in way of greeting and she smiled. Alfie kicked his shoes on the steps impatiently.  
  
"Alfie stop it, your mother doesn't work 12 hours a day for you to ruin your shoes a week after getting them." He pulled a face.  
  
"When is Mommy home?" he asked; Jack listened carefully and stubbed out his cigarette on the wall before throwing it down the drain at the bottom of the steps.  
  
"Seven if she isn't stuck on the subway again, by which time you'll be in bed so no waiting up and whining to her for pizza either!"  
  
Jack felt a little guilty knowing he'd been the cause of the tantrum but at least this guilt was minor. They went inside and he decided to go for a walk, at first it was for more cigarettes, then he decided to get some proper food as Janice had put it and then it turned into quite the spending spree as he needed some new clothes and a bath towel that wasn't made of sandpaper. 


	8. Chapter Eight

Arriving home at close to seven he watched out for Laura on the subway, but it was too busy on a Friday evening to make people out in the rush. The neon signs flashed and light shone out of the apartment block windows, where he could see people getting ready to go out and have fun. He took his shopping inside and struggled with the keys trying to get the door open while not wanting to drop all his bags on the floor.  
  
"Do you need a hand?" said a familiar voice. He turned round and saw Janice standing in the doorway behind him.  
  
"Thanks, yeah, could you just unlock the door for me?" he stammered. She smiled and took the keys. After thanking her, he and went inside to put away the shopping while she wandered down to the stairwell window to look for her daughter. He poured himself a glass of water, and then put on the TV to stop himself from going to the window the way he so desperately wanted to.   
  
"Jack what are you doing?" he said lying back on the couch and rubbing his fingers through his hair.   
  
"Oh for God's sake Mom I'm fine; I just slipped on the stairs." Jack was up before he had time to think.   
  
'Shame you didn't act so quick when your pregnant wife was murdered.' He swallowed hard and opened the door.  
  
"Laura? Are you okay?" he asked, the concern showing in his voice immediately. She looked round and didn't seem to recognize him at first, and then she smiled. He really was cute under the gruff exterior.   
  
"I'm fine Jack, there's no need to worry I just slipped rushing up the stairs." Here was where his training kicked in; there was a trickle of blood running down her face and she'd obviously hit her head pretty hard. He reached out and held her face in his hands, tilting it to see how deep the cut was. She smiled at him sweetly, feeling almost special, for the first time in years.  
  
"You don't need stitches, but someone should stay with you for a few hours in case you have a concussion." He said wiping the trickle of blood from her cheek with a napkin he'd picked up at Starbucks earlier. He returned her smile and closed his eyes a moment feeling strange inside.  
  
'What are you doing Jack?' 


	9. Chapter Nine

They sat on the couch in her apartment and watched dire sitcoms that ordinarily Jack would rather boil his own head than sit through. She laughed at the stupid jokes and if he hadn't been too busy thinking how beautiful she looked lying on the couch in her waitress's uniform he would have thought she really had hurt her head.  
  
"You feeling any better?" he asked when the ad break came on and he thought it was safe to interrupt the 'plot'. She smiled and rubbed her head.   
  
"I feel a little sick; perhaps I should have something to eat. Do you want to stay for dinner?"   
  
Of course he wanted to stay for dinner. She had become like a life-line to him over the last 24 hours and he was reluctant to let go even if it was just to go to sleep in his crappy bed.   
  
"Okay, but I'm cooking, you stay there and…" he frowned at the sitcom starting again and she smirked knowing he'd been hating it ever since it started and enjoying his weary sighs and mock amusement when she caught his eye. "…recover." He finished.  
  
He cooked some pasta and fresh chicken in a tomato and herb sauce and found a half bottle of wine in the fridge. He went to the bathroom while it simmered on the stove and Laura crept over to have a taste while he wasn't looking.   
  
'Jack what are you doing playing happy families here, when your daughter is more than likely in jail?' his mind pointedly asked, as he washed his hands and gazed in the mirror. For once he had an answer for his conscience,  
  
"Just trying to get by, that's all"  
  
There was a knock on the door which startled him back to life, then another more urgent one. Thinking it was Laura and something was wrong he flicked the latch and opened the door quickly and nearly tripped over Alfie trying to get in and go to the toilet.  
  
"Need to go real bad!" Alfie stated, pushing past Jack who just closed the door on his way out. Let's hope he doesn't hate you as much as Kim hated Kate! The little boy came out of the bathroom sleepily.  
  
"Wash your hands!" Laura shouted to him and he turned round without a word and went back into the bathroom. Jack went back to sit in the armchair beside Laura. Alfie came out and walked over in his Spiderman pyjamas and held out his hands for inspection.  
  
"And the other side?" she said sternly. "Oh Alfie what have you been doing? Look at all that dirt under your fingernails, what you been doing, making marvellous medicine again?" Alfie smiled cheekily then looked at Jack.   
  
"Who's he?" he said eyeing the man in his house suspiciously. "I saw him outside, he smokes Mommy!" he said as though it was the most terrible thing someone could ever do. If only he knew the truth, Jack thought.  
  
"This is Jack, my friend. He lives across the hall and he can smoke if he wants to, he's a grown up. If I ever catch you with cigarettes you'll never go to the park or David's house again! Hear me?"   
  
"Yeah," he said sulkily. Then he turned to Jack and moved closer. "Did you have pizza with Mom last night?" Jack nodded. "You having pizza tonight?" Jack shook his head.  
  
"We're having pasta with chicken." He replied trying to be friendly and yet not too creepy. Alfie sulked, until Laura moved back on the couch and told him to come and sit with her. He snuggled up and pulled the patchwork blanket over him as she stroked his hair. She was a good mother, Jack could tell she cared for her son more than anything.   
  
He lost himself in his thoughts a while.   
  
'If you can recognize a good parent… how come you can't be one?'   
  
He had been once, so what went so terribly wrong? He had blamed his work but other people coped. Tony Almeida had gone against his superiors in pretty much the same way as Jack at times and he'd now been reinstated and promoted on the instructions of President Palmer. Nina had been his girlfriend too, they weren't as far removed as Jack liked to imagine, and Tony could probably make a better job of parenting than he had the last few years. So maybe it came down to what kind of person he was. Laura looked across at him, concern showing in her eyes. He tried to smile but she knew something was wrong and he thought it unlikely that she'd leave it alone after all the interfering he'd been doing today.  
  
"Come on Alfie it's time you were in bed sweetheart." Her son whined sleepily but she picked him up and his head dropped on her shoulder, his thumb stuck firmly in his mouth as she carried him to bed.  
  
It was then that Jack really got freaked out. As he got up to check on dinner he heard Laura singing to her son. It was the same song Teri sang to Kim when she was a baby.  
  
"Inchworm, inchworm, measuring the marigold, seems to me you'd stop and see how beautiful they are."   
  
Jack hadn't cried for Teri since the night after the funeral and somehow that song just opened it all up again like the wound was as fresh and new as when he'd held her in his arms at CTU and closed his eyes wishing it was all a horrible dream.  
  
He closed his eyes now and leant his head against the kitchen wall, "Oh God Teri, what the hell should I do?" he sighed, as a tear rolled down his cheek. One part of him thought this was to remind him of her to make him think again about getting involved with someone else. Another part just wanted to feel something like he had before, to feel loved and needed and not just used.  
  
"Jack? Jack what's wrong?" Laura was stroking his back and…and how could it hurt so much and yet feel right at the same time? "Hey Hon, don't cry, hey!" she put her arms around him and he found himself willing to fall, somehow knowing she was going to catch him. 


	10. Chapter Ten

She didn't make him talk about anything, she just held him until he felt a little better and then told him to come and sit in the kitchen while she served the food. The room smelt of tarragon and ginger and it was warm and airy unlike his place. Jack felt at home and part of him thought he could forget where he came from and just start again with her. How long could he lie to himself? Could he just forget what had happened and become someone else entirely?  
  
They ate dinner and talked about some crazy guy who had one of everything on the menu, at the restaurant where she worked and then tipped the waitresses $50 each. She complimented him on his cooking and thanked him for looking after her all night.  
  
"I feel I should fake some concussion after all this effort, it seems to have been a waste of your evening!" he shook his head and finished his mouthful of chicken.  
  
"I've had a lovely evening, well apart from my being miserable, I'm glad you are okay. I would have been worried about you if you hadn't let me stay." He said sincerely.  
  
"You're a sweet guy Jack and don't worry about before, sometimes things just get too much. I know how it feels. Since my husband died it's been difficult, I try my best with Alfie but I think he misses having a father."  
  
"I didn't realize, I'm sorry… When did he die?" it felt dangerously close to home and he wasn't sure he could deal with it if he was encouraged to talk about Teri.  
  
"He was shot almost five years ago, he was a police officer in Charleston and… he was on an investigation, something to do with an arms deal. They couldn't tell me much." Jack listened attentively and reached over the table to hold Laura's hand. He knew what it was like from the other side and yet he felt that at least he and Kim could share memories. Laura didn't seem to have anyone.   
  
"They told me it was quick and that he'd saved a woman's life but I was only 21 and Alfie wasn't even two then, I talk to him about Richard but I don't think he really remembers him. I think he only pretends to remember to make me happy. He's such an angel; I couldn't live without my boy." She dabbed at her eyes with the napkin and squeezed Jack's hand.  
  
"My wife was murdered…" he said before he could back out of it again. Laura looked up, her eyes full of concern for him despite her own pain. "It was almost two years ago now, she was pregnant… I'd just found out that I was going to be a father again and…"  
  
"Oh God! Jack that's awful… you poor man." She got up and moved around the Formica table to stand beside him. He looked into her eyes… how could he have thought she was using him? She was the most compassionate person he'd ever known.  
  
'Even Teri?'   
  
He heard himself thinking 'yes' before he could check his reactions and he tried to reach out for her with trembling hands. She was in his arms before he found the words to ask and somehow he knew that it was just what they both needed. 


	11. Chapter Eleven

The phone rang at six-thirty in the morning and Jack woke with a start and almost fell off the couch. For a moment he couldn't remember where he was and then he smelt the stale aromas of last nights dinner and the lavender oil that Laura had burnt to drown them out. He squinted in the darkness trying to read the digits on the VCR display; 06:32. Then light suddenly filled the room and Jack watched as Alfie bumped his way round the bookcase and into the bathroom carrying a straggly looking bear under one arm and rubbing his eyes with the other. It was a Saturday and surely no one would have to be up at this time in the morning!  
  
'Brings back memories doesn't it Bauer?'  
  
It did, but not of those awful mornings when his life was falling apart, it reminded him of when his daughter was little and would wake up insisting on the company of her parents to watch cartoons. He smiled to himself in the dim light and wondered again if he could continue to play this game.   
  
Alfie pulled on the lamp and switched on the TV before he even noticed Jack sprawled out on the couch still wearing last night's clothes. It comforted him to watch Captain Caveman and imagine for a while that he had no other worries.  
  
"Alfie go get dressed Honey; Nana can't come over this morning, you'll have to come with me." Jack glanced up at Laura who came out of her room in pale blue silk pyjamas and her wavy brown hair held back over her left shoulder. He clumsily tried to sit up and straighten the crumpled shirt that was twisted round him showing the burn scars on his torso. She saw the marks but made no comment. She'd talked to him about a lot last night, but she'd also listened and although he didn't give her the full story by any means, she wasn't scared away by it. He felt comfortable with her, it didn't matter what she saw.  
  
"You have to go to work?" he asked almost incredulously. Laura nodded and smiled at his surprise.  
  
"I work at the children's library one Saturday a month; it's a trailer that they leave over by the park for a few hours, it doesn't pay much but it means Alfie can get first choice of the books and it's nicer than having drunks' letch at me at Dimitri's for another five hours a day." Jack looked away, realizing he'd been looking her over a little too obviously.  
  
"I could stay with Alfie if you want? I mean if it helps and Alfie doesn't mind?" Her son looked up and eyed Jack distrustfully.  
  
"Do you like Spiderman?" he asked, with a face that said he severely doubted it. "Or X-men?"  
  
"I guess so; I haven't seen it much lately." Jack replied trying not to smirk as Laura laughed at him trying so hard to please her little boy.  
  
"Maybe Jack can watch Spiderman with you this afternoon Alfie, I think you should come with me this morning, you still haven't read your workbook for school and there isn't going to be any Spiderman crawling around here until it's finished."  
  
Jack thought it was because she didn't trust him with her son and felt a little uncomfortable. He reached for his boots and then he felt Laura's hand on his arm.  
  
"Jack, you don't have to go, could you maybe get Alfie some breakfast while I take a shower?" he smiled, relieved that maybe she did have confidence in him after all. He nodded. "He'll try and tell you he can have two pop tarts but he can't and he has to eat his porridge first. Can you handle that?" she grinned.   
  
"Sure, I'm not that terrible a father."   
  
'What the hell are you saying Bauer? You've really ruined it now, get your boots on and get lost. After all she told you about Richard last night and anyone who'd tried to take his place, what kind of idiot are you to infer that you want to be Dad to her kid. You can't even be Dad to your own child! You are a terrible father and surviving pop tart duty isn't going to make a difference on the scale you've taken things to.'  
  
"I'm sure you aren't Jack, but you don't know what a little diplomat my son can be! You need special negotiation skills to deal with him sometimes!"   
  
"Well actually my training would kind of cover that, but seven year old boys are renowned for being more difficult to crack than middle eastern terrorists, so I don't want to push my luck!" He smiled, but saw her astonishment and realized he hadn't told her what he did for a living last night at all.  
  
"Are you a cop?" she asked, a little tremor in her voice. What was he supposed to say now? It was all going to come out and he'd have to tell her all the things he'd done… all the mistakes he'd made. It was over now surely. She wouldn't want to take the risk of getting involved with another police officer, given that her husband died on the job. She'd also begun to tell him about a guy called Marc who had been a friend of Richard's. He'd taken advantage of her and when she tried to break it off he got weird and tried to use his position of authority to have Alfie taken into care. His badge might say protection for most people but it would leave her with nothing but fear and resentment.  
  
"I'm a federal agent. I was working in LA at the counter terrorist unit." He couldn't look her in the eye. "I… I kind of quit."  
  
"You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to Jack. I realize you wouldn't be living in this dump unless you were a little down on your luck, I don't need to know… even if you could tell me anything, which I guess you aren't allowed to."  
  
"I can tell you things." He said quickly. "I mean, I want to… Laura, I really like you. I want to tell you about me and… and what I've done, it's just hard." She reached forward and cupped her hand to his face before crouching down to look into his eyes. She held his stare for a moment and then leant forward and kissed his forehead.  
  
"I like you too Jack, there's plenty of time I'm not going anywhere." She stood back and he couldn't take his eyes off hers. He stared unblinking at her and whatever he was feeling made his head giddy. Right at that moment she was everything he ever needed or wanted.  
  
"But not right now, I need a shower. Make yourself whatever you like; I'll have a black coffee." She winked at him and turned to go to the bathroom. "Alfie! Jack's going to make you breakfast don't mess him about or they'll be no Spiderman at all." 


	12. Chapter Twelve

Tony Almeida drove through the city at around 20mph, the traffic was awful at that time of day and he really would prefer to spend his morning off in front of the TV or even better in bed with his girlfriend. Jack should be here to deal with this; obviously the guy had been through a lot but this wasn't Tony's place. He pulled up at the courthouse and parked his convertible next to a row of squad cars.  
  
It was only half an hour later when he and Kim Bauer got back into the car in silence. He started the engine and waited for her to put on her belt. She looked lost more than anything. Her skin was pale and her blue eyes looked like icy glass orbs, though she hadn't been crying, she didn't have any tears left to cry.  
  
"Michelle made up the spare room for you." He said kindly. "You can stay as long as you want…"  
  
"My Dad?" she said without much hope. Tony shook his head. It had been over a month since Jack Bauer went AWOL and Tony and Michelle had fought for his daughter ever since the morning she arrived at CTU and told them what had happened. She'd killed two people in three hours and her Dad had watched her and told her to do it. Then he'd walked away, no, not walked, ran… she'd dropped to the floor and wept, the revolver still in her hand, blood pouring from his treacherous girlfriend's body and pooling around her feet and she called out to him.  
  
"Daddy!" she sobbed, "Dad please?" But he'd backed away; shaking his head in astonishment at what he'd just seen. She cried and pleaded with him; begged him to somehow make the pain go away. Just to hold her and say he'd make it okay and that he'd always be there for her and no one would ever come between them again.  
  
He ran.  
  
"I'm sorry Kim. No one has heard anything, we are still looking… he has to show up sometime. He hasn't been using his credit cards; it's only a matter of time." Tony felt horrible. He wished he had something better to tell her, the poor girl had been in a holding cell all the night prior to her court appearance because she had no legal guardian to vouch for her. Before that she'd been staying with her Aunt Carol who really didn't seem to know how to treat her and spent the whole time telling her what a waste of space her father was and how, "Teri would still be here now if she'd never taken him back after he cheated on her with that 'monster' of a woman Nina Myers."  
  
As the time went by Tony found it more and more difficult not to agree with her. Whatever Jack was going through it was disgraceful the way he'd left his daughter to cope alone.   
  
"Kim if you need anything, I know your Dad left you money, but if you need to talk or anything at all, Michelle and I are here for you."  
  
"Thanks Tony." She said with a sad attempt at a smile. "Thanks for being there today too, I know everyone had proven that Kate was using my Dad and that she… well that it was self-defence but it was hard to go through it all again. I'm really glad you were there."  
  
He gave her a broad smile, "No problem Kim, like I said we are both around if you need us." 


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Laura had been rushed off her feet all day, Sandy was off and she had to work a double shift at Dimitri's. It was parent teacher night at Alfie's school and she thought she'd never be able to get out of the little chair when she finally got to sit down in his brightly coloured classroom.  
  
"Your son is doing really well Ms Fletcher, his reading is excellent and his artwork this term has been top of the class." Laura was always really glad to see that her efforts with Alfie were realized. "He's also doing much better at sports, have you been playing basketball with him?"  
  
"No. I'm afraid he doesn't get that from me, my friend has been taking him to the park when I'm at work after school…"  
  
"Jack?" Laura nodded, a little surprised. Mrs. Henshaw smiled. "Well he seems to be having a good impression on Alfie; he beat the older boys in the playground yesterday and wouldn't shut up about it all afternoon. I got quite sick of hearing how 'Jack' taught him to defend and dribble the ball properly." She sounded harsh but she was a friendly middle-aged woman with a good nature and couldn't hide the fact that she was quite proud of Alfie herself.  
  
"They get on pretty well." Was all Laura could muster.   
  
She and Jack had spent the entire weekend together and most evenings that week. He was still pretty cagey about some things but then she still had her share of stories to tell too. He'd told her a lot about his wife at first, and his daughter Kim. Though he didn't talk about what brought him there and she didn't want to push him to speak. Too many people had done that to her over the years and it always ended badly.  
  
"He's a nice guy." Mrs. Henshaw gave the younger woman a knowing smile.  
  
"It certainly sounds like it." 


	14. Chapter Fourteen

Jack was asleep on the couch in his apartment, he'd started watching some movie about some blind guy and his sister; sometimes he was a little concerned at the influence Laura was having on him. Janice had taken Alfie to a friend's birthday party down the street, so he had no way to waste the afternoon but on crappy made for TV movies.   
  
He saw his daughter lying out in their garden listening to a CD player that produced a constant hiss and irregular patterns of bass that had led him to return to the house in order to read his book in peace. Kim seemed happy and free-spirited, it was obviously before… Jack wandered through the house in shorts and a T-shirt, the floor in the hallway felt cool out of the sun and he walked quicker to the carpeted staircase.   
  
There was no carpet on the staircase. He was at CTU now and he saw Nina smile over at him from behind the mesh of Jamie's tech corner. His heart felt cold and dead as he watched her from a distance scanning her eye over files she didn't have authorization to see. Walking over to stop her, he found it was Teri sitting with her back to him. He moved round the chair to see her; glad that she'd arrived to brighten his day. Then he saw the blood on her shirt and he closed his eyes to stop from throwing up in shock. It felt lonely and claustrophobic in the office and he found it difficult to breathe.   
  
Somewhere a door opened and light flooded in. He saw a woman in the doorway but couldn't see who it was, he squinted trying to make out her face and then closed his eyes and took gulps of fresh air into his lungs. It felt like he had been drowning.  
  
When he opened them he was lying on a gurney in a basement, his chest hurt and the sickness was still there; a scent of burning plastic in his nostrils. He looked at the doctor and was sure it was a woman… it hadn't been had it… no. A voice called him from a distance and he got up and walked away from the bodies and the beeping machines… and the doctor.  
  
"I'm not going anywhere." She whispered in his ear. Her breath felt warm on his skin and the scent of her perfume made him shiver.  
  
"Dad, please!" it was Kim calling him. He saw Kate and smiled relieved to see that she'd done as he asked and got his daughter away from the Matheson house.   
  
"Yes Kim you're right and he doesn't know anything; he got me everything I need and now…" Kate turned and pointed a gun at him; it was his gun, one of those from his car anyway. It had a knick in the grip where he'd fallen down an escarpment on training exercise in the Santa Monica Mountains the year before.  
  
"Dad!" his daughter called again, more urgently this time. He heard his words but he wasn't speaking them.  
  
"Shoot him again Kim!"  
  
It was a warm morning and the sun rose above the peak behind him, lighting the two blondes less than ten feet in front of him. Kate wouldn't miss.  
  
"I thought we… I thought…" Jack began. Then the sound of the safety release chilled his blood and Kate raised the gun to point at his head. Then bang! The gunshot filled the air. Again she pleaded for him to come to her.  
  
"I like you too, Jack."  
  
"Dad!" he heard again, when his breathing had calmed he opened his eyes and found himself back at their home in LA. Kim was calling him from the garden and a basketball hit the French-windows with a heavy thud which almost shattered them.  
  
Jack strode out ready to shout, then he just smiled.  
  
"Look Dad I can do it now!" he saw Alfie spinning the basketball on his finger and Kim grinning at him cheekily before she snatched it away and ran across the lawn. Alfie ran after her and called for his Mom. Jack only heard the mocking voice of his daughter calling, 'Mommy!'  
  
Then he saw Teri sitting in the sun at the bottom of the garden. He walked across the lawn; the sprinkler had been on and the damp grass tickled between his toes. He sat beside her and she turned her head to smile at him.  
  
"You did good Jack. Look at them!" he smiled at the two kids fighting playfully and trying to grab the ball. Then they both stopped and turned round looking towards the doors in the shade. Jack could make out movement at a distance and Teri patted his arm and stood up. He glanced up at her but the sun was in his eyes but squinting didn't prove much help, it was as though a golden aura surrounded her.   
  
"He has your eyes Jack." He looked over and saw the toddler trying to run on the lawn, making it a few steps before he fell over. His mother scooped him up before he started to cry, dusted him off a little and kissed his head before putting him down again.  
  
"Where's your Daddy gone Georgie?" Jack got up and walked over to his son.   
  
"I have to go now Jack," he heard the voice behind him say. "You take care of them okay?" He nodded and grinned at his two-year-old son running up to him with clumsy steps. When he turned round there was no sign of Teri. He smiled a little sadly and then he felt her arms around him and all the pain dissipated.  
  
"I love you Jack." She whispered to him. He smiled and kissed her head, the scent of her hair making him tremble all over.  
  
"I love you too Laura."  
  
A door banged shut in the hallway and he woke with a start, the final words of his dream still on his lips. 


	15. Chapter Fifteen

Laura arrived home at almost ten in the evening that Friday night and her mother had brought Alfie back from his party, given him a bath and tried to convince him to go to bed. Laura was exhausted as she came in and dropped her bag on the floor and kicked off her shoes.  
  
"Your son is driving me crazy tonight!" said Janice, patting her daughter's arm and giving her an understanding and weary look. Laura just nodded and smiled in between yawns.  
  
"Alfie why aren't you in bed?" Alfie came running up to her yelling,  
  
"Mommy, Mom look what I won at Sam's party. Look Mom, look!" She looked down at the little fake Spiderman figure and smiled. Thinking 'lets hope his little spidey legs don't fall off this weekend at least!'  
  
"That's lovely Alfie; maybe we can get him an X-man friend to play with tomorrow, since you were so good at school." Alfie grinned looking very proud of himself.  
  
"What did she say?" Janice asked, walking with her daughter to get a cup of coffee from the kitchen while Alfie danced Spiderman along the bookcase behind them.  
  
"She said he was an excellent reader, that his artwork this term was top of the class and that he was doing good at sports too." She was very happy with her son.  
  
"I kicked the bigger boys' ass at shooting hoops!" he said jumping and pretending to shoot one, there in the kitchen.   
  
"Alfie Fletcher! Where did you learn that naughty word?" Janice said frowning at her grandson who just gave her a cheeky grin in return. "They'll be no bed time story if you use words like that in front of me." She said sternly.  
  
"I don't like your stories anyway Nana." He said sitting on the kitchen chair with one leg on and one leg off the seat. Janice pulled a face at him.  
  
"So you are going to read to yourself are you?"   
  
"No, don't be silly I can't read big books on my own, I'll go get Jack. Jack can do funny voices…" he'd already got up and was making his way to the front door.  
  
"Alfie it's late, maybe Jack's gone to bed, like you should!" Laura shouted after him. She hadn't realized he could reach the lock on the door and worried as she heard his voice echo in the hall as he shouted back to her.  
  
"No Mom his TV is on, its okay!" Laura rushed to go after him but he'd already knocked on the door when she got to him. Jack appeared a moment or two later in his shorts, since he hadn't bothered to get dressed that day, knowing he had nothing important to do. She blushed a little, seeing him practically naked.  
  
"Jack will you read me a story please?" Alfie said quickly before Laura could drag him back to the apartment. "Please Jack?"   
  
Jack had just woken up and smiled a bit confused. Laura picked up her son and Jack looked at them both, a bit funny, she thought. Maybe he was just tired; she couldn't help thinking he looked really cute when he woke up. The way he looked startled for a moment… it went against his usual controlled manner and made her want to hold him and keep him safe.  
  
"You don't have to, sorry if he woke you up…" she looked shy and embarrassed like the first time he'd seen her.  
  
"Let me go turn off the TV and get some clothes on, we still reading the BFG, yeah?" Jack yawned and rubbed his head and Laura started to tell Alfie that maybe Jack didn't want to read stories on a Friday night; maybe he had better things to do. He didn't bother to close the door and pulled on a pair of black pants, grabbed a new brown shirt and flicked off the TV on his way back.   
  
"I think a story would be about the best thing I could think of doing… unless your Nana wants to hang out with you while I take your Mom to the movies or something." Laura's heart almost skipped a beat. She'd tried not to feel too close to him, she knew he had issues and didn't want to complicate them or her own, unless things were really going to work out. That said, she fancied him rotten and thought any fool could see it, so why he seemed so shy around her was kind of crazy.  
  
"Nana wants to go home; we can go see Daredevil tomorrow though!" Laura rolled her eyes knowing that Jack would back off, because he was extremely careful of upsetting Alfie for some reason. "I was good at school Jack, the teacher said so, didn't she Mom?"  
  
They walked back to the apartment and Alfie wriggled till Laura had to put him down before he broke her arm. Alfie held Jack's hand and rambled on about beating Joe Bunton at basketball. She was tired and Jack could see she just wanted to collapse on the couch, she wasn't the only one of them feeling protective.   
  
"Come on then kiddo; let's see what these snozcumbers are all about!" he told Alfie as he took him to bed.  
  
Laura just had time to sit down before the questions started.  
  
"He's very nice isn't he?" Janice said with a pertinent glance. Laura just nodded and changed the channels on the TV. "Alfie really likes him, doesn't he?" her mother added, trying to get some reaction. "You've been spending a fair bit of time together too, haven't you?" Laura shrugged. "Laura do you like him or not?" Janice said, letting the frustration get the better of her.  
  
"Yes mother, I like him, he's really sweet to me and Alfie, what do you want me to say?"  
  
"Is he married? What does he do for a living? Is he from round here?" Laura looked at her mother and thought about her answers.  
  
"He was married, his wife died a couple of years ago, He's a federal agent and he lived in LA but wanted some time to himself and to not be hassled, so please Mom I know what I'm doing don't push things and don't you dare try and put him up to anything either." Janice feigned surprise or grievance.   
  
"Mother if Jack is interested in me I want him to come to his own conclusions; not to feel he has to do something he doesn't want to." Janice waved her hands as if to say it was fine and she wouldn't interfere.  
  
"Does he know about Richard?" Laura nodded. "Marc?"   
  
"Yes. Well some of it… I guess I'll tell him the rest sometime. Can we talk about something else? Haven't you got a date tomorrow night?"  
  
"Yes. Why? Do you need me to stay with Alfie?" Jack came out of Alfie's room and walked over to them.  
  
"No and I have Monday off since I did double today so you can stay out all you like!" Laura liked to mock her Mom's dating whenever possible, since she knew given chance she'd take every opportunity to do the same to her.  
  
"Right, well I'm going home, you be good and I'll see you Tuesday." She gave Jack a smile and put on her coat.   
  
"Do you want me to walk you to the subway, Janice?" he offered. Laura looked up at him and shivered as he met her eyes for a moment. He seemed different tonight, she thought. He looked at her… no he looked into her as though he saw all she was and what's more he wanted to stay, it was the kind of look she hadn't seen in a long time. Could it be what she thought… what she hoped… what she knew was growing inside her?  
  
"Jack that's very kind of you, but I'm sure I'll be fine." With that she was out the door in a hurry to not miss the late train.   
  
Jack saw Laura differently now, well maybe he was just a little more honest about exactly how he saw her. He'd felt it all before, you don't dream what's not in your mind somewhere already. Though the things he'd seen in his dream were far beyond the point any conscious thoughts took him to. He was pretty sure she had figured it out too, but hopefully she hadn't seen quite how far he'd taken these thoughts.  
  
"Mom!" Alfie shouted from his room, in a hoarse voice. Jack smiled watching Laura get up off the couch with a sigh.  
  
"I think someone wants a goodnight kiss." He said nervously. She laughed and stroked his cheek.  
  
"You're rather forward tonight aren't you?" she smirked; he didn't mean to move his head to her hand and he certainly didn't mean to sigh quite so obviously at the thought of her kissing him. "Surely you aren't going to need one now though, it's not even eleven yet, and you'll stay for a drink won't you?"  
  
'That flirting 101 might have come in handy Bauer, what are you going to do now?' He felt sick he was so nervous, it had been a long time since he'd done this stuff and the last time he didn't have to make the first move. Even under cover he played the role of thug, it was never some suave, sophisticated business man suspected of embezzlement or such… always the heavy. He'd only had a few girlfriends before he married Teri, and even then he wasn't really sure what he was meant to do. Nina had been only too happy to get him into bed in order to gain his confidence and steal his secrets. Laura wasn't like that. She talked it up but he knew she was as nervous as him, if not more so.  
  
"I can wait. I'm not sure Alfie's voice will hold out if you leave him much longer though!" he joked. She smirked and her eyes seemed to sparkle a little, or maybe it was just his imagination playing tricks on him. Perhaps it was a little wishful thinking.  
  
"Maybe I should then… let him lose his voice and he'll be less vocal tomorrow." She moved a little closer to Jack and parted her lips a little, her tongue moistening them slightly.   
  
"Mom!" Alfie screeched. Jack moved his hand to hold Laura's against his face, he smiled and took it down and kissed the back of it, before lowering it down between them. Words couldn't be found, they weren't needed anyway, his eyes told her what she needed to know; their racing hearts confirmed it.  
  
"Go on, I'll get that drink." 


	16. Chapter Sixteen

Kim sat on a stool in Tony's kitchen chatting to Michelle while she cooked them a dinner of Thai food followed by a tropical fruit salad.   
  
"I was thinking of going back to school." Kim said after a long silence had built between them. Michelle smiled.  
  
"Really Kim? That's a great idea, do you want to do it for anything in particular?" she asked straining the vegetables over the stainless steel sink in Tony's apartment.  
  
"I thought maybe if I could finish off the computer course I did last year, then I could go for that job as research assistant at CTU." Michelle stopped what she was doing and came to sit by Kim. She looked concerned.  
  
"He'll show up soon Kim, he can't have much cash left now, we're monitoring all his credit card transactions and his cell phone." Kim nodded; she'd heard it all a thousand times before. "We have every hospital in the state notified and although we can't physically send police officers out to look for him, they know who they are looking for if he shows up and they know to call CTU directly…"  
  
"Do you think he hates me?" Kim asked unable to keep eye contact with Michelle in case her eyes gave away the wrong answer.  
  
"Oh Kim no… No of course he doesn't hate you; he probably just hates himself and needs time to come to his senses."  
  
"Do you think he loved her? Is that why he left?" Michelle was astonished at the thoughts in the teenagers head. "I mean, I guess he's going to want to be with someone else sometime but I didn't, I mean… it would have been okay if she had been a decent person. I don't want him to be sad again. It was awful seeing him fall apart after Mom died… I just… do you think he loved Kate?"  
  
"No, I think he was lonely. Jack Bauer is a very strong and decisive agent and he is a brave and decent man, but…" She paused and looked at Kim seriously. "Can I be frank with you Kim?" The young blonde nodded her approval. "When things were rough with your Mom he turned to Nina, that wasn't just some sleazy affair; he needed someone and she was all too willing to be what he needed for her own reasons… after Teri died he probably blamed himself for all of it." Kim nodded but she was welling up just thinking about it all.  
  
"Then he probably just thought he'd done it all again and almost lost you too…he wouldn't just jump into something like that… I don't think so anyway. It's not easy to start a relationship and when you have a lot of history; it doesn't just happen naturally, at least not that quick."  
  
"Do you think he's found someone else?" Kim asked. "I hope he has, because if he feels worse than when Mom died then I couldn't face thinking about what else he might do."  
  
Michelle had no answer for that one, either option would have hurt the girl; perhaps it would be best if she didn't say anything at all.   
  
"I think I'm going to go for a walk, if that's okay?" Kim said softly. Michelle nodded and smiled considerately. Kim put on a jacket and zipped up the front snugly,  
  
"It's his birthday today." 


	17. Chapter Seventeen

"You're very quiet tonight Jack." Laura said sitting on the couch watching him, as he half listened to the news. "Something on your mind?"  
  
"It's my birthday today," He raised an eyebrow, "I'm thirty-eight." Laura slapped him on the arm and frowned. "What?" he said confused.  
  
"You could have told me, was that why you wanted to go to the movies or something?" He shrugged.   
  
"It wasn't the only reason; I just like spending time with you." She was still upset with him for not telling her. He smiled and shook his head in disbelief. "You're mad at me for forgetting my birthday, what would you do if I forgot yours?" she laughed and blushed a little bit.  
  
"I'd never speak to you again." She told him, trying really hard to look like she meant it.   
  
"Well that's pretty harsh; you'd better tell me when it is then so I don't forget. You're 26 next birthday right?" Laura laughed at him and got up.  
  
"That must be your government agent's brain working overtime; you're memory is too good I'd have to beat you if you forgot!" he smirked and wriggled an eyebrow. "It's not for another eight months; you probably won't be here then though."  
  
"Why shouldn't I?" he sounded a little hurt. Laura looked sad.  
  
"You seem much happier than when you moved here and you don't need to live in a dump like this do you? There is nothing to keep you here. God if I could afford to live somewhere as nice as West Hollywood do you think I'd still be living here?"  
  
"Laura, don't be an idiot!" Jack said quite forcefully. "The only reason I'm happier is because I've been with you these past few weeks. I'd live in that crumby dump of an apartment forever if it meant I could be close to you."  
  
'Jack you fool, just because you had a nice dream, doesn't mean you can just make it real the minute you wake up! Go easy on the woman!'  
  
Laura started to cry.  
  
"Oh Honey I'm sorry, I… I never meant to upset you or offend you or anything." He stood up and put his arms around her. She felt frozen in his embrace and he began to worry that he'd really upset her.  
  
"I'll go, I'm really sorry. I'm an idiot. It's just… I guess I'm lonely, I'm coming on too strong and I should give you space and…" he was rambling, looking for anything he could say that might begin to fix what a humungous ass he'd just made of himself. Hell he could decide to fly a plane out into the desert on a suicide mission in a few moments thought, and now he'd had days thinking of how to tell her how he felt about her and he was acting like a schoolboy!  
  
"Don't…" she whispered. He looked down at her and she lifted her head to look at him again. "I don't want you to go Jack, no one has ever been as good as you are to me… do you really mean it?"   
  
'Bauer, you lucky son of a bitch! She is more nervous than you are. You haven't ruined things; you might even be able to begin to fix them. Kiss her you idiot! Tell her you meant what you said and kiss her like you've been wanting to since the first moment you saw her. Jeeze trust your instincts man!'  
  
He did consider shouting back at his conscience about all the other stuff it had been telling him to do lately but then he'd look like a nut and Laura might not be so keen on him if he started acting like a crazy person in her lounge.  
  
"Yes Laura, I really want to be with you, so much it scares me in fact. But I'm not sure you'll still want me when you know everything about me." He looked ashamed of himself. She stroked his face and stared into his eyes. 'How could they hold so much pain?' she thought. There was so much inside him that she didn't know and yet she felt like she had all the information she needed. Something about him spoke to her, without words, without actions… he just was the answer to everything and she longed to let herself fall for him… to let go of all that was inside her all this time and just be free to love him.  
  
"I've done things I'm really not proud of and I know you think a lot of it is necessary for my job, but I did things I shouldn't have done and I don't think you know what kind of man I really am. I… I don't deserve you."  
  
"I don't think you know everything about me either and I don't have a job to pass things off on." She said looping her arms around his shoulders. "I know how you have treated me and Alfie; that's what matters to me, and I probably know more about you than you think. I watch the news; I know it was the place you worked that handled all that stuff with the nuclear bomb that went off in the dessert. There is probably a lot you can't and don't want to tell me; maybe I'll never know everything about you but I'll enjoy being the one you want to tell these things and I'm not going anywhere. I told you that before."  
  
"I still don't deserve you." He said looking down through the four or five inches that separated them.  
  
"Not everyone gets what they deserve or want in life, but right now I'm pretty happy with my lot. You make me happy too you know, this isn't just one way traffic. Now are you going to kiss me or what?"  
  
He was shaking as he bent down to finally let their lips bump nervously together. She closed her eyes and pulled him closer, their lips parting slowly and short quick breaths making their heads go giddy. Their tongues seemed to dance and swirl together feeling each others warmth and passion overflow. He held her tight as though he didn't ever want to let go, his heart was racing and he told himself that if he had a heart attack now at least he'd die happy. 


	18. Chapter Eighteen

"Laura, what do you know about the bomb?" Jack asked sitting back on the couch and playing with her hair while she laid her head in his lap to watch TV. She turned down the sound and looked up at his worried face.  
  
"Err I suppose the same as everyone else, although Mickey at work is really into all these government conspiracies and reckons he knows everything on the subject!" Jack smiled but it soon faded. He was in a serious mood and Laura knew by now it was best to go with the flow if he wanted to talk, or risk him getting freaked out again; and although she was patient to a fault, if they were going to truly feel comfortable together and let things progress between them, she knew it was best to just listen.  
  
"Well I know it was something to do with an international oil deal and that the bomb was meant to go off in LA but it was flown out to the desert. Mickey thought it was a mix up or something and that's why it couldn't be disarmed or whatever."  
  
"It was tamper-proofed." Jack answered plainly. Laura sat up a bit and leant on a pillow to look at him without straining her neck.   
  
"Were you involved in finding it then?" she asked, completely oblivious to the truth of what had happened that day. Jack laughed.  
  
"You could say so, yeah," Laura waited for more detail, half expecting him to tell her it was confidential. "I was the one who flew it out of LA." Laura looked up at him with her mouth open like a cod fish. She left it that way so long that he had to lift her chin to shut it after about a minute.  
  
"I'm sorry I… well I didn't think you could tell me that stuff… and anyway, I thought that the guy who flew it had to go down with the plane or is that just Mickey being dumb?"  
  
"No he's right, unless you have a tactically equipped jet; there is no way of ensuring the bomb goes off in the right place. The only thing available at such short notice was a pleasure flight craft basically." Then he was quite surprised at what she did next. She slapped him hard in the chest with the back of her hand.  
  
"Ouch! What was that for?" She frowned at him. He rubbed his chest and looked confused.  
  
"I don't know… because you were going to kill yourself and then we would never have met and…" he was smirking down at her and she started to feel stupid. "Oh fine laugh at me, I won't be your girlfriend if you don't know how to be a bit more understanding of my feelings Jack…" she paused suddenly and he looked at her questioningly. "I just realised I don't even know your last name, how dumb is that?"  
  
"Bauer." He said simply. "You got a middle name Ms Fletcher?" She blushed a little bit knowing he'd figured out what she was thinking. She slapped him playfully again and sat up cross-legged on the other end of the couch hugging a big green cushion.   
  
"May, Laura May Stewart, until I married Richard." Jack looked thoughtful a moment then smiled softly, his lip crinkling up and showing his teeth. "You look like a chipmunk when you do that!" she laughed. He gave her an odd look and sniggered. "Can I call you Alvin?"  
  
"No!" he said forcefully. She just giggled at him. Jack laughed and told her she was a nut then thinking about it, he leaned forward and made a stupid face and started pretending to bite her.   
  
"Jack! Ah! Stop it you fool, I'm ticklish! Jack! Stop!" he eventually relented and sat up looking in her eyes for a moment, and then he stroked her cheek softly, following the curves of her face down her neck and lifted her to him to kiss her again tenderly.  
  
"Mom" said Alfie appearing next to them in his pyjamas, Bilbo hanging by one leg from his arm. "Are you okay? You shouted…" Jack looked a bit guilty and got up off her and sat down at the other end of the couch. Laura held out her hand and gestured for Alfie to sit down with them.  
  
"I'm fine Alfie, its okay. Jack and I were just being silly… I wasn't hurt or anything we were just playing. Jack doesn't want to hurt me, or you, at all okay? You do understand don't you?" Alfie looked at Jack suspiciously then back to his Mom. He nodded his head slowly. "Alfie, really, Jack wouldn't hurt me, you can trust that you know?"  
  
'You'd better know what you're doing here Bauer, she really cares about you, don't screw it up again.'   
  
His chest hurt and he realised he was breathing in shallow hard breaths, he hadn't taken a pill all day and he'd begun to notice that when he got tense about things he had frequent, if mild, chest pains. What was he tense about though? She was reaffirming how he felt and after the dream he'd had earlier he finally had begun to realise just what he wanted out of life… what's left of it anyway.  
  
"Alfie, I'd never hurt your Mom. I promise. I care too much about her to ever hurt her, or you. You are both very special to me." Jack spoke honestly and Laura felt herself welling up at how adorable they both were to care for her so much. He thought he didn't deserve her!  
  
"Are you going to be my Daddy then?" Alfie said with wide eyed innocence as to the rules of relationships. Laura felt nervous as to what Jack might say. Being a single mother meant any perspective partner had to pass muster with Alfie too. He was too important for her to go ahead with someone he disapproved of, particularly after everything with Marc.  
  
"Hey kiddo, I just asked her to be my girlfriend, lets not do all this family stuff yet eh? Lets just be best friends for a while yeah? Maybe you'll decide for yourself if you want another Daddy." Alfie grinned and sat up on the sofa between them.   
  
"I kissed Claire Mabbott at school for a dare, does that mean she's my girlfriend now?" Laura laughed softly and Alfie gave her an angry look. "I asked Jack, not you Mom!"  
  
"I think you have to want to be her boyfriend and ask her to be your girl and be all romantic and stuff, not just do it for a dare Alfie. Do you want to be her boyfriend?" Alfie screwed up his face and pretended to be sick.  
  
"No, girls suck!" Jack laughed and Alfie giggled back at him. "Claire is ugly anyway, it was a double dare!" Jack tried not to laugh.  
  
"Come on young man, that's enough about kissing and girlfriends, you're seven not seventeen and don't say people are ugly, remember the ugly duckling story? Claire could turn out to be the most beautiful girl in the world one day and then you'll be telling everyone that you kissed her when you were seven!" Alfie pulled a face and shook his head.  
  
Laura got up and went to take her son's hand. He pulled it away and turned to the man beside him. Laura gave a surprised smile as she watched Alfie give Jack a big hug.  
  
"Night Jack, are you going to be here in the morning? I like when you do the breakfast, Mom makes the porridge lumpy." Jack looked up at Laura, waiting for her response.  
  
"You'll have to wait and see Alfie; if he goes home you'll only sneak out and wake him up anyway! Come on now its bed time!" 


	19. Chapter Nineteen

Laura put him to bed again and snuggled on the sofa with Jack. "That was very nice of you to say all that, Jack. He just worries about me because of what happened with Marc." Jack waited for her to explain.   
  
"When Richard died, Marc was really nice to us, he looked out for me and we got quite close, I guess I was feeling very vulnerable at the time and Alfie wasn't sleeping well, he had nightmares about losing me too, and… well it was hard for me. I grew too dependant on Marc and he got very obsessive about Alfie. He wanted to marry me and adopt Alfie as he couldn't have kids of his own, least not without treatment. I really didn't feel like that about him, it was just fun and something to take my mind off Richard, and then things just went too far. I didn't love him and it just got out of hand. When I realised how dumb I was being and tried to break it off… well he got violent and started hitting me."   
  
Jack looked a mixture of worried and angry. If he had doubted his feelings for her, then this was enough to persuade him. He was angry at what had happened to his girl. He'd seen many domestic violence cases, when he was younger with the LAPD, and he always hated to see people who allegedly cared for one another, causing each other so much pain. When it came down to it, he'd hurt people to protect the innocent, especially those he loved. If he ever met Marc, he'd kill him.  
  
"I tried to run away from him and he found me at my Mom's" Laura continued. "I was too scared to leave because he told me he'd hurt Alfie. So I stayed with him and it was okay for a while, he took care of us and since he worked all the time I was still able to live my own life I had a little house in the suburbs in Charleston, its west of here on route 64. It was a lovely little house with a yard for Alfie to play in and lots of light; not like this place." She seemed to grow distant a moment, remembering as he often did, what came before.  
  
"Then he started pushing the marriage thing again. It's not that I wouldn't consider it one day; I know that Richard would have wanted me to be happy; we had discussed those kinds of things. You know, he had a dangerous job and I was having his child, he had to know that I'd be looked after even if he couldn't be around to do it. He left me money, but it doesn't really matter that much… you need more than money to keep the cold out of your heart don't you? I guess that's why I let myself trust Marc in the first place. I guess sometimes we let fear and loneliness guide us too much."  
  
Jack knew only too well what she was talking about. He hadn't loved Kate Warner, he just wanted someone to hold onto, someone to ease the pain. If only he'd known Laura then, he thought to himself.  
  
"Marc and I fought again, I told him I could never love him and I didn't want him to be father to Alfie at all. He beat the crap out of me. He broke my jaw and… and Alfie saw him do it. I don't think he meant to hurt Alfie but he was angry at being caught and probably really embarrassed; he slammed Alfie's hand in the door and broke his fingers."  
  
By this point Laura was crying and Jack pulled her to him gently, kissing her forehead and holding her in his strong arms. "You know I'd never do anything to hurt you Laura, and I won't push you into anything you don't want to do, if I'm going too fast or something or you think I'm getting in the way of your relationship with Alfie then you only have to say and I'll back off. I don't want to come between you and your son."   
  
"Don't be silly Jack; I know you would never hurt us, not intentionally. I won't pretend I didn't find it a bit odd that Alfie wants you to be his Dad, but I know he could do worse…" she looked into his blue-green eyes and smiled. "I know I could do a lot worse."  
  
A comfortable silence fell over them, in which they just held each other and mulled over their thoughts.  
  
"When Teri died, it was the day someone tried to kill President Palmer, he was just a senator then though. There was this crazy situation where the people involved had a grudge against me and David Palmer for our involvement in special ops in Kosovo."  
  
"And these people killed Teri?" Laura asked, stroking the back of his hand protectively.  
  
"I thought they'd killed my daughter; they abducted her to try and frame me for Palmer's death. They took Teri too, but I thought she was safe. I guess I've had a bad history of choosing girlfriends too! Nina, the woman who shot Teri, I'd worked with her for years; I'd been having an affair with her only a while before. It was stupid… I was stupid. Teri and I were having problems. I had some trouble at work and I wasn't exactly the best person to be around and I guess I'm just pretty weak behind this work façade. I hate my job; the only good thing that came of it is meeting you."   
  
Laura lay down beside him and played with his hair as he spoke, smiling and giving him supportive looks as he told his story.  
  
"Anyway Nina told me Kim was dead and I had just found out Teri was pregnant and everything was just crazy. If it hadn't been that I'd saved Palmer's life in that hotel bombing I'd be in jail now for blowing two guys away for killing my daughter, when in actual fact she was sitting a few hundred yards away with the coast guard." Jack sighed and wiped at his eyes as he remembered the events of that horrible night "I always think that if I'd just seen Kim earlier we would have got back in time to find Teri and…"  
  
"You can't talk like that Jack. I went through years of saying if only I'd not answered the phone that night and left Richard asleep then he wouldn't have gone. Or if the woman hadn't been there and he hadn't tried to be a hero or… You just can't do that to yourself Jack. You did everything you could, you trusted people that you believed were worth your trust and above all you were trying to protect those you loved. You are a good man. You just had bad things happen to you."  
  
Jack had to tell her the rest. He knew it was time, he knew he had to take the chance. Things were going too fast and getting too strong… if it was going to fall apart because of his idiocy then it had to be quick and soon, if he let himself love her any more than he already did he wouldn't be able to face losing her further down the line.  
  
"No Laura it wasn't just that. After the bomb…" He'd already told her about Kate being involved in the oil situation and using him the whole time for information. She'd been surprised to see him after Yusuf was killed, mainly because she thought she'd secured the chip and he was dead. "Kim was in trouble with this family that she was au-pair for over the summer. The guy was hurting his wife and daughter and Kim got involved. She called me and told me the guy was trying to kill her…"  
  
"Oh my God Jack! The poor girl, it must have been terrible for her; after all you'd both been through"  
  
"I told her to shoot him… she had his gun and he was hurt on the ground… I told her to shoot him… twice. I…" he couldn't hold back the tears anymore. It was the first time he'd ever spoken about what had happened that morning…to anyone. Actually putting his failings into words was too much to take. He expected Laura to be ashamed of him, but somewhere inside he still hoped maybe she'd be able to see past it all.  
  
'But that isn't all, is it Jack?'  
  
Laura just looked pretty shocked by all he'd said. Her boyfriend had been not much more than a good cop in her mind that morning… he hadn't even been her boyfriend that morning! Now he was a national hero and had been through some of the worst things she could imagine.   
  
"You did what you had to do Jack. I'd hate for Alfie to have to go through something like that. But I'd rather him have nightmares and years of therapy than be dead." Jack looked at her in surprise. He'd never talked to anyone about the way he felt for leaving Kim in that situation. He'd convinced himself he'd been heartless and cruel to expect her to do something like that and just carry on. He'd tried to remember the first time he'd killed someone. How it felt to take a life. It had been horrible… and he'd put his daughter in a situation like that… he must be some kind of monster. But Laura was right, living with something you've done is hard but at least you're living and while you live you have the opportunity to improve; not only for yourself but for everyone else who touches your life.  
  
"I sent Kate to get her…" he said before he backed out and never told Laura at all. "She was using me; she managed to get me to care for her, when all the time she was plotting mine and thousands of others' deaths and I sent her to take care of my daughter!" He was so angry with himself. Laura reached out and took Jack's hands affectionately.  
  
"When I got to them, Kate was going to kill Kim, she had a gun to her head… she turned it on me. I couldn't believe what was happening, I'd made the stupidest mistake of my life because I was lonely and missed my wife and the bitch was about to take my daughter too and…" he choked back the tears and pulled at the roots of his hair in anger.  
  
"Laura, I just felt so awful, I felt like it was all over; that I'd already lost her, and it was like losing Teri all over again and I couldn't move… I just couldn't do anything. I knew Kate would kill me and Kim afterwards but I just couldn't move. It… I… I just couldn't go on anymore."  
  
"Oh sweetheart…" Laura sighed as she took him into her arms. "You must be the bravest man in the world to go through all this… Darling it's going to be okay now. I won't let anything happen to you. I'll be with you… be there for you whatever, okay? You can trust that Jack. I'll never leave you."  
  
He could hardly believe how lucky he was. This had been his worst fear and his darkest secret and she hardly batted an eyelid at his confession. She just loved him.  
  
"I left her Laura, Kim shot Kate to save my life and I left her. I just walked away. She begged me to help her and I ran away. I'm not a good man; I've done terrible things Laura. I've destroyed people's lives… I've taken fathers away from kids like Alfie, just for information… just because it was quick and simple. Okay they were bad men… but who can say who's bad and who deserves to die? Maybe I deserve to be dead for all I've done. I'm a terrible father!"  
  
Laura held his shoulders firmly and shook him. "Look at me Jack Bauer, you made a mistake. You… the things you've done…" she was lost for words for a moment and he began to feel like this was the end.   
  
"I find it hard to think that you could do that stuff, you… the way you have been with me… I know your heart Jack. No one should have to make choices like that, but you did what you had to do, what you were ordered and taught to do. You were put in that position because you were trusted to do a job. Life isn't easy Jack for anyone… we all have to do things we don't want to. Do you think I don't hate myself for staying with Marc after he hurt me? He broke my son's fingers and reported me to the social welfare services. I felt like I deserved to lose Alfie for leaving him in danger."  
  
Jack looked at her as though her suggestion was just dumb, and yet he couldn't see that his mistake may be on a greater scale but it was the same feelings of failure that underpinned it. Laura had to make him see that, if she was to help him get through all this.  
  
"You made a mistake and you have to make up for that. You have to tell Kim you love her and that you are sorry and then you have to be her Dad. That's all you can do. You are a good man and you deserve to be happy, you deserve to have another chance with your daughter. People forgive those they love, Jack. It sounds to me like Kim loves you very much. I don't want you to carry on hurting like this when all it takes is one call to start making things better."   
  
Jack sighed heavily; it seemed so hard to do something so simple. How did it get so hard to make decisions? Was Laura right? Would Kim forgive him and love him still. Could he ever decide to forgive himself?  
  
"Jack you are a really special guy, the way you've been there for me… I know you're scared but I'll be with you. I'm in love with you Jack Bauer… I just want you to be happy again. Sometimes we have to go against what we believe… sometimes we have to prioritise where it's wrong for one person to make such decisions; when we shouldn't have those rights… I don't think I could bear to carry the burdens you have, but I'll help you do it all the same, because I've chosen to be with you Jack. I've chosen to love you, for all you are… some of this scares me. I admit that the thought of loving a cop again… it really spooked me. You don't get to choose who you fall in love with. We are the consequences of our own experiences. I love you for all the bad and good, because that's you."  
  
Jack nodded. How could she make it all seem so simple? He thought to himself, then it sank in, she'd just said she loved him. After he'd told her the worst of him, the absolute worst, she'd said she loved him. He felt like his greatest burden had been lifted, and his heart raced, so fast he thought he was having another attack.   
  
"What are you Laura? My guardian angel?" he whispered into the curve of her neck. She stroked the back of his hair and they curled up on the couch in each others arms. The pain was receding now and they were relaxed with each other.   
  
"I love you Laura May Fletcher." He sighed. "From the first moment I saw you… you're my dream come true, my angel."  
  
'How had all this happened?' Laura thought to herself as she heard Jack's breathing grow slow and faint as he drifted off to sleep in her arms. 'When did she start feeling this way? Had she always felt it? Somehow it seemed like the natural thing to do, to just love him. It had been so long since she let anyone close and she had been guarded with her feelings with everyone, even her own mother didn't know some of the things she'd told this man in her arms… this man she'd only known for a week or so, hadn't even met until a month before. Though she knew; as though someone was telling her from above; that he was the one.   
  
"Happy birthday sweetheart." She whispered wrapping her arms round him and pulling a blanket over them both. "It's all going to be better now." 


	20. Chapter Twenty

Alfie woke at about eight-thirty and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He wasn't a morning person like his mother and could sleep through practically anything when he wanted to. But this morning he felt wide awake and alert. He listened for noise in the lounge, Jack had slept over a couple of times since Alfie had known him and sometimes he heard him snoring or talking in his sleep and knew that he should be quiet and sneak about so he didn't wake him.  
  
"I'm so sorry Kim." He heard Jack mutter to himself as he pushed open his bedroom door and took Bilbo with him to see what was going on.  
  
'Who is Kim?' he thought, looking a bit puzzled. But his confusion soon disappeared when he saw his Mom lying under the blanket with Jack.   
  
"Bilbo look?" he whispered to his bear, with a big grin on his face. "Jack is going to be our Daddy now!" The bear obviously couldn't share his enthusiasm and Alfie felt frustrated at not being able to tell anyone how his wishes had come true.   
  
"Jack can come to sports now and I can be on the pee-wee team at school… and…" he fell silent quickly as he saw his Mom wriggle in her sleep trying to get comfortable on half an old leather couch.   
  
"I'm here Angel, hush now" Jack muttered as Laura drowsily slipped her arm under the blanket and across his chest.   
  
Alfie went back to his room and found his books from school. Mrs. Henshaw had asked him to draw pictures of what he did at the weekend and he carefully took his pencils out of the tin one by one, trying not to make a sound; and started to draw him and Jack and his Mom on the sofa, watching Spiderman on TV.  
  
Jack woke up hearing little scratching noises beside his ear and mutterings.  
  
"We can go to the park all the time and Jack will read us stories and he will hold Mom's hand like David's Mom and Dad do, and we will go on trips to the sea in Jack's car, Bilbo."  
  
Jack smiled and strained his neck to see what Alfie was up to. Without making a sound he gently woke Laura with a kiss and hushed her as she happily smiled at him, her brown eyes, wide and round like her son's.   
  
"No, you can't call him Daddy, Bilbo. You are just a bear, and you have to have a bear to be your Daddy." Jack grinned and reached over to ruffle up Alfie's hair. Alfie jumped and drop his pencils loudly into the tin.   
  
"You woke up!" Alfie said surprised. "I was being quiet". He said defensively, "look I drawed us watching Spiderman." The little boy grinned merrily.  
  
"Drew." Laura told him. "You drew a picture, not drawed. It's lovely. What's this here?" she pointed at a little round thing with sticks on it. It looked like the way he drew dead bugs, but he didn't draw them blue, bugs were always black or green, the nasty green pencil not the grass green or the 'hulk' green.  
  
"It's a cake!" Alfie said annoyed that it wasn't completely obvious. "We have cake when it is special days!" Laura grinned down at her son and then looked at Jack, who was watching it all with enjoyment. She kissed him on the cheek and he winked at her.  
  
"That's funny you should say that Alfie, because it's Jack's birthday." Jack shook his head and sighed. But Alfie was already up and jumping about, the picture forgotten. He was full of questions. Questions about what they should do, where they should go and then the odd one out…   
  
"Who is Kim, Jack?" Laura looked nervously at him as she got up to open the curtains and start breakfast. Jack sat up and told Alfie to sit down beside him. "I'm sorry is it bad to say that?" the little boy asked, a bit confused by the serious turn things had taken. Even though he didn't understand it, he knew it was like when his Mom talked about his Dad.  
  
"Kim is my daughter, she's a lot bigger than you, she lives in L.A." Alfie smiled. "I'm afraid she and I had a bit of a sad time and I haven't seen her for a while. That's why you don't know her."  
  
"Did you make her cry?" Alfie asked. "You said when you were sleeping; you said sorry to her… did you make her sad?" Laura came to hold his hand and was all ready to distract her son when Jack found his answer.  
  
"Yes. Some bad things happened and I made her very sad, I think. I don't know if she likes me anymore." Alfie gave Jack a hug, and then to his surprise he kissed him on the cheek.  
  
"You can ask her to come to the movies with us, kids like the movies, she'll like you again then. When Mommy makes me sad…" He stopped and thought about what he was going to say. "You can never go to sleep when you fight you have to say sorry and cuddle and then it isn't nasty anymore and you can have nice dreams." Laura watched Jack's response and hoped he was going to be okay through all this stuff.  
  
"You're a good boy Alfie." He looked thoughtful for a moment then Laura could hardly contain her joy when he asked if he could use the phone. "Maybe you're right Alfie. I don't think she can come to the movies with us, LA is a long drive from here you know? Maybe we can go see the place where I lived and then we can go to the beach too." Alfie had the biggest grin of his life at that thought.  
  
"Hi Kim!" he said apprehensively, before he realised it was her voicemail.   
  
"She's not home?" Alfie said sadly. Jack smiled a bittersweet smile and shook his head. He clicked the phone off and sighed.   
  
"Maybe she's still asleep? You can phone her after the movies though, when we have cake." 


	21. Chapter TwentyOne

"Kim!" Michelle said, shaking the blonde teenager from her sleep. Kim sighed and yawned, frowning at Michelle for waking her from one of the only nice dreams she'd had in months.  
  
"What is it Michelle? Gosh it's like dawn or something… what time is it?" Michelle yelled for Tony to come up and Kim pulled at the covers of her bed defensively.  
  
"It's your Dad; they registered a credit transaction in a city called Huntington over in West Virginia. Get dressed quick we are going to go down to CTU, Eddie is trying to trace the transaction and find out if it really was Jack."  
  
Kim jumped out of bed, all of a sudden indifferent to the fact that Tony had seen her in her underwear. She pulled on some jeans and a sweater and went to the bathroom quickly, while Tony and Michelle waited for her.   
  
"I really hope it is him Tony." His girlfriend whispered while Kim was running the faucet to brush her teeth. Tony nodded and gave her an awkward smile.   
  
Kim went to get her purse and saw that her phone had left an unanswered message. She looked flustered, after so long with no news she had begun to think he might never show up. Surely a man as intelligent and resourceful as her father would find it relatively easy to just disappear if he wanted to, regardless of the whole of CTU and the LAPD looking for him.  
  
"I have a message." She said her hands shaking. "Michelle can you?… I don't think…" Michelle smiled and put her arm round Kim, and took the phone to listen to the message.  
  
"It wasn't a message, I don't think they hung up properly when the voicemail cut in, it sounded like a little kids voice in the background. I'll try and trace your previous calls when we get in, come on lets go." 


	22. Chapter TwentyTwo

Jack was actually enjoying his birthday; they had spent the morning eating pancakes and maple syrup in front of the TV. Then he'd helped Alfie with his reading while Laura disappeared to buy some provisions for their party. After that Laura told him to go home and change while she got herself and Alfie ready to go out. What she was really doing was wrapping up his presents. Alfie wrote a card and then started wrapping the chess-set she'd bought for him to give to Jack. Only he was wrapping each piece separately and insisted it was the only way to do it and that it was better to have lots of presents than one.  
  
Laura went to get dressed and find Jack's gift; a small silver ring that had belonged to her father that she wanted Jack to have. Somehow it seemed fitting; it had been too big for Richard… so she never gave it to him despite her father saying on his death bed that she should 'give it with her heart'. 'Maybe all this is meant to be this way', she thought placing the ring into a small box and wrapping it in blue foil gift paper.  
  
He'd sat on the couch and opened all 33 presents from Alfie without showing any sign of boredom at all. He'd given Alfie a big hug and thanked him for the card that said 'To Daddy' in big letters. Then he'd opened a card from Laura, which was very understated and said all that needed to be said. 'Jack, with all my love, Laura x'   
  
But it was the present that really made his day. The silver ring fitted his index finger perfectly and he felt that he could finally admit that they were real, that she wasn't just out to hurt or use him. That little ring symbolised a lot for Jack and as they walked along the street on their way back from the movies all he could do was think about his dream and how much he dearly wanted it to be real. 


	23. Chapter TwentyThree

Eddie Jerome was on the phone to the credit agency as they arrived at CTU headquarters. Kim had spent a lot of time bothering him over the last month, be it on the phone from her Aunt Carol's or in person for the last week or so. He was a young man, only three or four years older than her and he was witty and kind as well as almost inhumanly intelligent, especially where technology was concerned.  
  
"Hey Kimmy!" he beamed, his bright green eyes sparkling at her as she came closer. She refused to admit she had a crush on him. He was just helping her out and more to the point treating her like she was a normal young woman, not someone whose father had run off and left her at the worst time of her life. When everyone else pussy-footed around her, Eddie just poked fun at her clothes or her taste in music or the fact that she thought she knew better than him about everything even though he probably had the highest IQ in the office.  
  
She sneered at him for calling her 'Kimmy' and then sat down next to him while Tony and Michelle looked on, both wearing knowing looks.   
  
"Hey Ed, what you found out?" she asked trying to seem cool about it.  
  
"It was definitely Jack; he bought three tickets to see Daredevil at the Camelot theatre in Huntington, West Virginia."  
  
"Three tickets?" Kim asked. Eddie nodded, and for a second the cheerful appearance gave way to a greater concern for her feelings.  
  
"I've called the cinema, they are sending their CCTV footage over to us now; said it should take about twenty minutes… apparently they thought he was with a woman and a kid. But weren't completely sure of the description we gave them." Kim looked puzzled. "It seems he may have lost a lot of weight and grown his hair, this guy seemed to say that there was no one else who'd fit the description though, as it was mostly just kids in for the matinee… or mostly with their Moms." Eddie sort of flinched saying that, as he knew Kim was rather cagey about her mother still.  
  
"Did this guy say they were together?" Kim said finally. Eddie felt bad, even though it was good news that Jack had been found, the thought of him just going away and getting on with his life seemed kind of harsh on Kim.  
  
"He said that… the guy at the ticket office said the only man who matched Jack's description was with his wife and kid."  
  
"Wife?" Kim said unable to hide her shock. "What he thought they were married?" Eddie shrugged and Michelle put her arm around Kim protectively.  
  
"He said they looked close and that the little boy was holding his hand." Eddie sighed. "I don't know what to say Kim…" Then Michelle remembered the phone call.  
  
"Maybe that was who was on the phone message Kim. Eddie can you check the numbers on Kim's cell?" Eddie nodded and told her he'd get onto it right away. Although he was halted when the cinema security footage came over and he set up the feed.  
  
"Kim are you okay with this stuff, you know I can…" Eddie began, looking very worried for her. Kim shrugged and tried to laugh it off.  
  
"Hey, he could have been dead. So he's got a girlfriend or something. I guess at least he's okay and happy…" she trailed off there. How could he go away after everything that had happened to them and just be happy?  
  
Eddie started the video feed and it took a moment to find the relevant point in the recording according to the transaction time. Then there it was in black and white… Jack had his arm round the woman; she looked younger than him, dark hair and eyes, pretty in an understated way. The little boy tugged at Jack's sleeve to look at a poster on the wall that seemed to advertise free tickets for the new Hulk movie.  
  
"I guess she looks nice enough…" Kim said in a soft and trembling voice. Ed held her hand and she smiled at him gratefully.   
  
Then Jack came back with a bucket of popcorn and a soda and the little boy still holding his hand and jumping about. They bought tickets and Jack lifted the kid up to see something in the back of the booth, a competition. She watched as her father filled in a little coupon, with the kid tugging on his jacket to let him see what he was doing. Jack handed the coupon to the counter assistant and smiled. Then the three of them walked off into the auditorium, Jack was still holding the kid's hand and put his arm round the woman's shoulder compassionately.  
  
Everyone remained silent for a while and waited on Kim's response.   
  
"Can we find out who she is?" she said finally. "I want to know she isn't some crazy bitch like Kate or Nina. Can we do that?"  
  
Eddie looked up at Tony. He knew they could, it was just a case of having the correct authorization. There had been a bomb threat in Bakersfield the previous evening and communications had been limited.  
  
"Sure" Tony said, "contact the local police department, but do it discreetly. Find out who she is from the video footage or the guy who works there even. That kid knew his way around, they must go there quite often. I want to know everything about her Eddie, leave no stone unturned on this one. We don't want any mistakes!" 


	24. Chapter TwentyFour

After Jack spent most of the afternoon teaching Alfie to play chess, they had dinner of pizza and fries and various other sorts of junk food, followed by a birthday cake with ten candles; since that was all Laura could find in the kitchen drawer.  
  
"Did you make a wish?" Alfie asked after Jack had blown them out. Jack winked at him, and told him it was a secret and it wouldn't come true if he told. They all had cake and then Alfie asked for both of them to put him to bed. This took almost an hour and Laura was liable to fall asleep before her son if he took much longer.  
  
"Come on Alfie, your Mommy is likely to fall asleep before you at this rate, then how am I supposed to get a goodnight kiss?" Alfie smiled and rolled over onto his side, pulling Bilbo under the blankets.  
  
"Say goodnight to Mommy and Daddy, Bilbo." Jack smiled and kissed his forehead, night Alfie, night Bilbo." Laura stroked her son's hair from his face and gave him a kiss before saying 'sweet dreams' to him and the well-worn bear.  
  
When they finally finished, she cleaned up the kitchen and then she and Jack snuggled up on the couch.   
  
"I'm sorry if Alfie is pushing this Daddy stuff too much Jack…"  
  
"Don't be sorry, he's a lovely kid Laura, I don't mind if you are okay with it. To be honest, I didn't want to tell you this… I feel kind of stupid… but yesterday when Alfie woke me up, I had this dream about you…" Laura giggled and raised an eyebrow suggestively at Jack.  
  
"No not like that, it wasn't sexual…" he smiled and ran his hand over her shoulder pulling her close to kiss her. "That was last night!" he smirked cheekily.   
  
"Jack Bauer, I thought you were sweet and innocent…" Laura laughed. "Actually I've been hoping you aren't!" Jack looked at her seriously.  
  
"It wasn't rude anyway, it was like a playback of everything that has happened to me and I saw Teri and she was watching Kim play ball with Alfie. She told me she had to go and I should take care of my family." He paused then almost nervous to say the last part.  
  
"Was I in it?" Laura asked knowing he had something more to add.   
  
"Yes, we were married I think and…" Laura waited patiently. "We had a baby together, a little boy."   
  
He was well aware of the risk he was taking telling her this. Marc had wanted what he wanted and he hadn't been afraid to come forward with his desires either. Jack sighed and closed his eyes a moment, expecting, at best, a mixed response.  
  
"What did we call him?" she said after a brief pause for thought. Jack looked up surprised at her composure.  
  
"You called him Georgie in the dream; he was about two I reckon. Teri said he had my eyes, but he looked more like you… apart from he had the misfortune to get my big ears!" Laura laughed.   
  
"My father's name was George; he died when I was a little girl." She reached down and took Jack's hand. "He gave me that ring on his death bed. I was nine years old and I didn't know what he meant back then… I'd not really given boys much thought past Ricky Jameson pulling my hair and teasing me in school… he told me to give this ring with my heart. I thought he meant when I married but it didn't fit Richard, he was lanky like Alfie, and besides it never felt right… I knew there was more to it than a simple wedding ring."  
  
Jack felt truly honoured and she could see she had touched him very deeply by saying such a thing. She laughed.  
  
"What?" he asked, feeling a little self-conscious at his over emotional admissions.   
  
"I found it in the drawer, the first time I saw you. Alfie had lost his fountain pen for school and we searched high and low for the bloody thing. It was the night you moved in, I saw you smoking on the stairs…" she paused as though she was scared to go on for fear of offending him.  
  
"Go on!" he said patiently.  
  
"I saw your hands were trembling and that you bit your nails, you looked so lonely." She stopped and snuggled into his arms. "When I found the ring it was like that image of the cigarette shaking in your hand called my attention to you and the fact you didn't wear a wedding band. I felt stupid even before I had completed the thought; I never thought you'd want me."  
  
"I didn't see you." He said softly, "Not until the Monday after, when you got your post and I came back from the store with my third bottle of scotch." She frowned at him, she'd seen his pills and worried sick about his health… it was one of her protective instincts and he liked that she cared for him so blatantly.  
  
"I thought you were so gorgeous. When you smiled at me, I couldn't believe someone as hot as you would look at me even when I didn't look like a hobo! I thought I must have been dreaming… but I only had nightmares…"  
  
Laura leant forward and kissed his lips. "Not anymore." she whispered into his mouth as they kissed eagerly. He sighed as her hands moved over his shirt buttons and her soft fingers stroked the hair of his chest beneath the thin blue fabric. "If you have nightmares, I'll be there with you now Jack. You aren't lonely now, Jack Bauer… you have a family to take care of." 


	25. Chapter TwentyFive

It was ten in the evening in Los Angeles and Kim was lying on her bed staring at the photo beside her; in it her Mom and Dad hugged and she looked on at them as if thinking they were old enough to know better.   
  
A tear rolled down her cheek.  
  
"I miss you Dad, I'm sorry I was so awful to you… Daddy why aren't you here with me?" She sobbed into her pillow and curled up into a foetal position. She wasn't sure how long she lay there and the room grew dark and silent. Tony and Michelle were at her mother's for dinner. It was meet the parents' night, and Tony was trying not to show how terrified he was of Mr Dessler.  
  
Kim was thinking about how her father always hated her boyfriends and threatened to have them background checked before she dated them. She'd gone berserk at him once and slapped his face for running a police check on Vincent. He'd just stood there and looked down at her with an unrelenting stare.  
  
"I do it because I love you Kim and I don't want you to be hurt needlessly. You're my little princess; I just want the best for you."  
  
She'd sworn at him and told him she hated him and that he was a control freak and… and how could she have been so mean and cruel? She missed him so much. She wondered how he'd feel about her thing for Eddie Jerome. He was pretty arrogant sometimes and Jack would think he was a smart-ass for sure, but he was a kind and sweet guy underneath and surely Jack could see that…   
  
The doorbell rang and reluctantly she pulled herself off her mattress and wiped her eyes with her sleeve as she walked downstairs. She smiled recognizing who was there at the glass door.  
  
"What are you doing here Eddie?" she said with a grateful smile. He pushed past her and came inside from the cool night air.  
  
"I heard Tony was going through the parent ordeal tonight so I thought we could have take-out and watch a movie." He said holding up a bag and a couple of DVDs. She gave him a heavy sigh and led him into the living room.  
  
They watched a couple of movies and ate noodles from the carton. Then Eddie raided the refrigerator for Tony's beer.   
  
"So how you doing, Kimmy?" he asked leaning back on the end of the designer couch to look at her more clearly. She shrugged.  
  
"Thanks for coming over Eddie it was really sweet of you."  
  
"But it hasn't helped has it?" he said, looking sad and concerned for her. "You are worried about him aren't you? I watched that feed over and over Kim; I did tests and looked at it every which way… it doesn't look like anything more than you saw. This woman he was with, it all seems genuine. I don't think she wants to hurt him… I know I'm no expert but…" Kim nodded.   
  
"I'd just feel better if I knew who she was, you know?" She said, looking into his deep-set eyes. He got up and turned off the TV set quickly.  
  
"Come on, before Tony and Michelle come back." He said taking her hand and pulling her up from the couch.  
  
"Where are we going?" she asked, confused.  
  
"CTU, I'll call the local sheriff's department see what we can find out about this chick. Then maybe you can chill out a bit and we could have a proper date." She blushed and gave him a nervous smile. "Okay?"  
  
"Yes." She replied with a big grin. "That would be really good Eddie." 


	26. Chapter TwentySix

Laura lay on top of Jack, on her old couch and they kissed and caressed one another like school kids whose parents were out of town for the evening. It felt so freeing, so right and perfect. His head was giddy with passion and for once there were no negative thoughts or worries or what ifs. Then suddenly she sat up and looked into his hazy lust-filled eyes.  
  
"Did I tell you about my Dad?" she asked looking thoughtful. Jack shook his head; as much to clear his thoughts as to answer her question.   
  
"No I don't think so; you didn't tell me his name if that's what you mean. I think it would have been because of Mason." Laura looked confused. "He was kinda my boss for a while and unfortunately, the day of the bombing he got radiation poisoning… it was him who made me jump out of the plane and took over crashing it into the desert." He laughed to himself and a bitter-sweet smile appeared on his lips.   
  
"He told me that I was being an idiot and that I was going to kill myself because I was too scared to live. If he hadn't been there, I'd be dead now. I'd been really shit to him before Teri died; he was no different from me… I never knew until that night, that he had a son… I guess I should have got to know him more. He was a good man really… just did some stupid things…"  
  
"Then God bless him." Laura said stroking her boyfriend's face and lowering her lips to his. "I'd be glad to call our son after such a hero." Jack smiled as if they were silly thoughts.  
  
"I have to sort things out with Kim." He said, finally admitting what his heart had been telling him to do for over a month. "I have to start being a good father to my kids." He said with a smile. Laura returned it and closed her eyes sleepily.  
  
"Take me to bed Jack." She yawned. He looked at her a bit surprised. "Make love to me darling. I want to fall asleep in your arms and not wake up in the morning with aching limbs!" he sniggered and wriggled his eyebrow.  
  
"I can't promise both, sweetheart." She laughed and got up off him, only to be swept up in his arms moments later and told to turn out the light as he carried her over to the bedroom and quietly closed the door behind them. 


	27. Chapter TwentySeven

"I'm real sorry to call you so late sheriff, but I'm from the Los Angeles Counter Terrorist Unit and I'm in need of some information. Well, some follow up information really." Eddie babbled down the phone in Tony's office; while most of the night staff were half asleep, reviewing reports about the Bakersfield bombing.  
  
"No problem Agent Jerome. How can I help you?" the courteous gentleman offered.  
  
"Well I have been looking for one of our agents, he has gone absent without leave and the circumstances of his departure mean we are quite worried about his well-being. We have reason to believe he was seen with a woman called Laura Fletcher; she lives in your district. I wondered if you could tell us anymore about her."  
  
The sheriff gave a little chuckle. "I sure can Agent; she was married to a friend of mine, a fellow police officer and my partner for many years." Eddie smiled and stroked Kim's arm affectionately.  
  
"Err; one of my researchers would like to ask you some questions if that's okay, Sheriff Wagner?"  
  
"Oh please, call me Marc; we are all on the same side aren't we? No need for ceremony at this hour of the morning." Kim asked him many questions and tried to put her mind at rest.  
  
"Oh yes, she was a good friend of mine until she moved away with her little boy. We kinda lost touch. We are talking about the same Laura Fletcher I take it? Long wavy brown hair, big brown eyes, and slim, about five eight?" Kim agreed.  
  
"So she was your partner's wife? Did they split up or something? What is she like?" Eddie looked at her trying to tell her to be discreet.  
  
"Richard died on a case; oh it was five or more years ago now. Nasty business blasted away with a sawn-off shotgun; must have been terrible for her to see him that way…"  
  
"What was the case he was on? What does she do now? Do you know? Did she… I mean would she have any reason to seek retribution for her husband's death?" Eddie was frowning at Kim by now; she shouldn't be asking things like that; the sheriff could get suspicious and start asking questions of his own. Apart from it getting them both into trouble, it might also put Jack's back up and mean he wouldn't come back at all.  
  
"Oh no my dear, Laura is a sweet girl, she was devastated of course; her son was only a toddler then and she must have been little more than a kid herself. Richard was her best school friend's brother and they had a crush on one another for years before they married and had little Alfie. Childhood romance you might say. Richard was on a case about an arms deal as I remember… he tried to save a young woman who was taken hostage by the gang and got blown away."  
  
"I'm sorry." Kim said beginning to feel sorry for Laura herself. She had almost wanted to find something bad so that she had a reason to drag her father away; but now she found herself thinking he had found someone who may be what he really needed.  
  
"What does she do?" Kim asked. "Is she a good mother?"  
  
"Oh last time I heard she was training to be a teacher, she was always very good with Alfie. Unfortunately there was a nasty case of child abuse brought against her, all unfounded. She'd never harm a fly… but I think she left because of it. You know small towns… well maybe you don't being a city girl." Marc said jovially.   
  
"Well I think she just changed small towns then; Huntington isn't very big is it?" Kim asked out of her depth on this kind of research.  
  
"Huntington you say, oh that's not too far from here, do you have an address, maybe I could look her up for you…"  
  
"Oh no I don't have her address, sorry. She appeared on CCTV footage from a local cinema, the guy there thought she was a regular and gave us her name, but he didn't know where she lived."  
  
"Oh that's a shame I'd have liked to get in touch with her again, talk about old times you know…" Eddie was trying to tell Kim to cut it short. Ryan Chappell was in the office downstairs and he didn't want to get caught now.  
  
"I'm sorry I can't help you more Sheriff Wagner, thank you for your information. I really have to get on now I'm afraid; more leads to chase up, you know how it is?"  
  
"Of course, of course, I won't keep you. I hope you find your missing agent and if you run into Laura do let me know her address won't you?"  
  
"Yes sheriff I will. Thanks again." Kim spoke quickly, trying to get rid of him before Ryan made it upstairs.  
  
"Oh if you see her, don't tell her you spoke to me; it would be nice to surprise her after all this time." Kim agreed. Anything to get rid of him swiftly. She hung up the phone and turned to Eddie beginning to panic as they heard footsteps on the stairs. Quickly Eddie pulled her close and they dropped down together on the crappy old couch as he kissed her passionately.  
  
"Eh hmm!" Ryan coughed coming into the CTU director's office. "I know the work is tedious tonight Eddie… Oh! Miss Bauer, I…" he paused, completely caught off guard to find her with Jerome. "I heard we have a lead on your father, I hope it turns out well." Kim thanked him and they both made their excuses and left hastily.   
  
Outside they giggled together and Eddie pulled her into his arms once again, this time waiting for her nod of agreement before he kissed her tenderly.  
  
"You feel better about things now then?" he asked as he gazed into her eyes in the pale moonlight. She nodded and kissed him again.  
  
"Maybe both my Dad and me can try and be happy again… what do you think?" He looked into her eyes and held her in his arms.  
  
"No harm in trying, eh?" he replied. 


	28. Chapter TwentyEight

Jack laid staring at the ceiling; his eyes absently following a crack across it, which trailed down the far wall of Laura's bedroom. There was a print of 'The Kiss' beside the door, and the golden flecks glinted in the pale orange light that emanated from the bedside lamp, next to him. Laura had fallen asleep on his shoulder and he bent to kiss her forehead, almost imitating the pose of Klimt's characters.  
  
He'd dreamt of this moment for what felt like forever; lying naked in her bed having made love to her for the last few hours, it felt like nothing in the world could touch them. He'd allowed himself to hope, to take the chance and follow the invitation of her love… and it had all been worth it; she was the answer to his cries and all his deepest desires. Being with her felt like heaven… something he'd up to that time, believed he'd never see in life or death.  
  
They had both been nervous at first, undressing slowly and savouring every tender moment. His hands had caressed every curve of her body as she trembled beneath him. Feeling her soft and gentle touch made him shiver and it was hard to think of anything but the moment. Her lips drove him crazy and she enjoyed turning him on; her nerves receded quicker than his and a five year abstinence obviously played a large part in her eagerness to please him.   
  
And please him she did, over and over until they couldn't hold out any longer. Being inside her felt like home. It was where he was meant to be, where he belonged; and his romantic fantasy of them being soul mates or something, was reinforced as he felt how perfectly they fit with one another.   
  
Afterwards they had lain together and kissed softly, she'd whispered to him and nibbled his ear. "I love you Jack Bauer, you are my reason for life."  
  
'How did you get so lucky Bauer?' he thought to himself, as he looked at the beautiful young woman in his arms. He'd watched her sleeping before. When she slept with him on the couch or the evenings when he cooked her dinner and she fell asleep watching tragic sitcoms, but she'd never looked as lovely as she did at that very moment. She had done things that had made him crazy with passion. He had thought himself a generous lover until that night; she gave him so much pleasure… she gave him everything he needed or could wish for. She was his reason for life. Since he knew that without her by his side, he would have nothing to live for. 


	29. Chapter TwentyNine

Eddie Jerome drove his beat up Chevy back across town to his bosses place and with it his new girlfriend. She sat against the door frame watching him in the cool darkness of L.A. at a little after midnight. The street lights twinkled by and every so often he caught a glimpse of her beautiful pale blue eyes as she smiled at him.  
  
"Thanks Ed." She said in little more than a whisper. He pulled up in Tony's drive and closed his eyes remembering how he almost didn't have the guts to go inside earlier that night at all. 'Maybe she isn't ready for a relationship.' He had told himself, 'Maybe she just wants to be friends… Maybe this isn't what I think it is.'   
  
"Maybe he is happy… he always used to say he'd love to have more time with his family… That officer said Laura wanted to be a teacher…" Kim said thoughtfully. "My Dad was going to be a literature teacher when he was younger… told me he almost went for a job at a middle school before he got the call from LAPD…"  
  
"Jack! A teacher?" Eddie said quite obviously surprised. Kim looked a little hurt. "I'm sorry Kim; I didn't mean to offend you it's just… well Jack Bauer isn't exactly known for his patience and gentle manner."  
  
"He used to be." She said softly. "He was a great Dad when I was little, he would read to me for hours and make up crazy stories about mice going on holiday and…" she trailed off.  
  
"At least we know he's safe now Kim." Eddie said trying to make up for his previous attempts to cheer her up which ended up putting his foot in his mouth. She ignored him and just carried on reliving her own thoughts and memories.  
  
"He'd tell me this story about these mice going out on a day trip… there were four of them, all youngsters… Mica, Molly, Maude and Monty." She smiled remembering the tale he'd told her over and over when she was growing up. Even when she was a teenager she'd always wanted him to tell her that story when she was sad and lonely… as if somehow it fixed everything… put it all back together again and when she went to sleep her Daddy had put everything right with the world.   
  
"They found these milk bottle tops in a field and were convinced they were flying saucers and that aliens were going to take them away to another world; where things were always exciting and interesting and where it would always be shiny and new." Kim smiled and dabbed at a single tear as it rolled from the corner of her left eye and down the side of her nose.  
  
Eddie watched her tell of a man he'd always thought he knew pretty well; and found that he had seemingly only ever brushed the surface of what it really meant to be Jack Bauer. He'd admired the guy ever since he started working with CTU. Jack had been head of the place then; and commanded a lot of respect until the investigation and dismissal of several of the team on charges of misconduct. A lot of people had lost trust in him then, even hated him; but not Eddie.  
  
"Do you think he tells Alfie that story?" Kim asked as they walked up to the door and she struggled to find the right key for the locks. Eddie shrugged.   
  
"I know he loves you very much Kim. You know he used to talk to me about you sometimes." She looked up surprised. Eddie smiled and nodded in answer to her astonishment. "I think it was because I was younger than the rest of the guys there, we would do research together on night shifts, when I was new to the place; and he'd tell me how he was really proud of you, that whenever the work was shitty he was thankful that he had his little girl to go home to… He said once that whatever horrors he had to face in the day it was all worth it knowing that he was making the world safer for you to grow up in." Eddie had a bittersweet smile on his face, which Kim took to be based on the concern he had for her.   
  
The real reason was that he missed Jack a lot too. No one knew how much he admired Agent Bauer; he'd kept it well hidden that he did his own investigation as to where Jack might have gone. Eddie knew facts and figures… but he'd never known what lay behind them. He'd never really known the man up in that big glass office that he watched night after night. There were times when Eddie took overtime to stay on nights or swapped shifts to be there when Jack worked. He'd sat and smoked in the car park with him on breaks, talking about hockey and old cars and baseball games, but he'd never known what went on inside Jack's heart. Not until tonight.  
  
"I miss him so much. I wish he would just call or something…" she paused and took a deep breath as though the question she was about to ask was weighted with lead and offloading it would be tremendously hard.   
  
"Do you think he'll ever come back, Eddie?" She asked finally, as they went inside and up to her room. Eddie trembled at a thought that plagued him almost as much as it did the woman before him.  
  
"I hope so, Kim. I really do hope so." 


	30. Chapter Thirty

There was a loud knock on the apartment door at nine on Sunday morning, but no one went to answer it. Dimitri had been trying to call Laura to do an extra shift but she'd left the phone off the hook from the previous evening. Her rather robust manager stood at the door for a full fifteen minutes knocking; before he eventually gave up and went to bother someone else.  
  
Alfie had heard the knocking and got up to see who it was. By the time he'd pulled the chair out from the kitchen and manoeuvred it to look through the peephole, all he could see was the man walking away past Jack's door and down to the stairwell; stomping all the way. Alfie turned up his nose at the sleazy old man, who he remembered coming to try and date his Mom a few years back. He leaned forward to see the crescent shaped lump walk away… and then thump! He fell off the chair and hit the wall with a heavy thud.  
  
Jack was awake and jumped out of bed quickly and pulled on his shorts. Laura had woken at the sound and looked up at him groggy and confused.   
  
"There was a noise!" he said quickly leaving the room before Alfie had even thought to cry at the bump on his head. Laura quickly followed in her robe. Jack was already picking her son off the floor and hugging him as he cried and rubbed at his left temple.  
  
"Hey! What you been doing little man? Let me take a look at that?" he said sweeping Alfie's blond locks away from his eyes. "Oh dear, you're going to have one hell of a bruise, nothing serious though. What were you doing anyway?"  
  
Laura was beside them now and looked concerned for her son and the red patch on his head. Jack kissed her cheek.  
  
"He'll be okay." He said softly. "I think the best thing to fix this, is one of his Mommy's cuddles and maybe some sweet tea…" Laura smiled, trying to calm down, since Alfie really didn't seem to care and as usual was more concerned with Jack's presence, particularly as he hadn't been on the sofa.   
  
"Pop tarts, Daddy?" He sniffled, still quite sleepy. Jack smiled and handed the little boy to his Mom's waiting arms. He kissed her head and beamed at her.   
  
"You go on back to bed; I'll bring us all some breakfast." Laura yawned and carried her son back to her bedroom. When Jack returned she had put some cartoons on the little portable TV and was nodding off on the pillow with Alfie sitting crossed legged in the middle of the big double bed. He set the tray on the bedside table and got into bed pulling the duvet up around him; the apartment was cold in the morning and he had caught a chill waiting barefoot in the kitchen while the kettle boiled.   
  
"Brrr!" he shivered and lay down under the thick blankets, turning to Laura a little behind her son. She smiled at him sleepily and began to apologise for the interruption.   
  
"Don't be silly, last night was perfect and apart from Lumpy here, so is this. Laura I'm just glad I'm here." Alfie giggled and turned and tugged on Jack's arm.  
  
"Look Jack, this is so funny…" Jack smiled and watched as Wil E Coyote painted a fake tunnel in a cliff to catch Roadrunner, then looked on confused when he ran through the tunnel unharmed. Alfie laughed loudly when Wile tried to do the same and hit a wall, pinging back like a spring. Jack grinned at him and Laura watched how good Jack was with her son and smiled too.  
  
"I love you, Jack." She said plainly. He looked at her and smiled warmly. Alfie turned to watch them and grinned like an idiot. Jack saw him through the corner of his eye, but didn't change his expression.  
  
"I love you too, Laura." He replied, "A whole lot in fact…" he reached and stroked his left hand over her cheek and she moved and kissed his fingers as they trailed over her lips. He gazed into her eyes and felt his head begin to swim as it had done many times before. "My angel." He said softly. Laura leant close and kissed him full on the lips. Then Alfie started giggling and the moment was made to wait.  
  
"What you laughing at? Little monster!" Jack said turning and putting his big hands round Alfie's waste and tickling him till he wailed. Alfie wriggled and yelled in a high pitched voice that made Laura long for the day it broke.  
  
"Oh you two, calm down Mommy's tired!" Jack stopped tickling and Alfie looked guilty, until Laura told him to sit in the bed and drink his tea quietly. He sat between them and sipped on a mug of milky tea in a mutant X-men cup with a strange handle.  
  
"Jack are you going to live in our house now…" Alfie didn't wait for an answer and carried on verbalising his thought process, "You really must if you are going to be my Daddy you know! Some Mom's and Dad's live in different houses, but that's when they don't love each other anymore and you love Mommy don't you Jack?" He rambled on. "If you love us then we should live in the same house and you and Mom should have a wedding and babies, like David's Mommy and Daddy did." He nodded as though it was all perfectly simple and made perfect sense. Laura laughed.  
  
"Mommy, don't laugh I wasn't being funny." Her son replied in a very grown up voice. "That's what you have to do." Jack sighed and smiled as though it was all quite a lot to take in.   
  
"Well Laura, I guess if that's what we have to do…" he said with a very serious face and a twinkle in his eyes just for her. Alfie waited expectantly for his Mom's response.  
  
"Would you like a little brother or sister then Alfie?" she asked her son. He nodded and grinned like all his Christmases had come at once. He grabbed them both around the neck and pulled them together in a big hug.   
  
"Alfie, you're spilling my coffee, son." Jack said trying to balance the cup and edge the spills over the side of the bedspread onto the dark wood floor, at least. Alfie sat back and looked worried by Jack's slightly more stern voice.   
  
"Sorry Daddy." He muttered with a quivering lower lip. Jack put the cup down and used some tissues to lean out of the bed and mop up the spills. Then sat up and saw Alfie about to cry.  
  
"Hey! It's just coffee, no need to get all upset…" Alfie sniffed. "Come here and give me a hug. It's okay, I didn't mean to shout." Laura got up to make Jack another drink and go the bathroom.   
  
"Alfie don't be daft, it doesn't matter. Jack's not mad, are you sweetheart?" Jack shook his head and ruffled Alfie's hair.  
  
"Of course not… Well, only about you my sweet." He chirped back at her. Alfie giggled and Jack couldn't help but grin. Laura gave him a weary smile that reminded him of his daughter. She always thought he was a giant wuss when it came to flirting. A thoughtful look fell over his face and Laura turned her head to one side a little, and looked at him concerned.   
  
He didn't notice at first. His mind was far away… he wondered what Kim would think of them; his new family. He hoped they'd get along and that Kim wouldn't be too jealous of her father's lover. He wanted his dream to come true more than anything now. It had become like a rock that he clung to subconsciously, and the thought of Kim tearing it away from him was almost enough to make him consider staying there and never calling home at all.  
  
Laura was at his side now and had ushered Alfie to go to put a movie on in the lounge as the news programmes had started on the portable.  
  
"Sweetheart, are you okay?" she asked stroking her boyfriend's face and gently bringing him back to her. He turned and came back to her world, scrunching his eyes closed and moving his head to kiss her hand. He looked so sad, like the first night she'd seen him.  
  
"Laura will you hold me?" he asked nervously. Without a word she pulled back the covers and squeezed into the bed beside him, draping her slim pale arm across his chest and resting her head on his shoulder, so that he could smell the sweet scent of her hair as he breathed in raspy breaths.  
  
The bedroom was bright and it was the first time she'd noticed how bad the scars on his chest were; she ran a finger over one of the little red shiny looking wounds. He glanced down and tensed a little.  
  
"Sorry." She said quickly. "I didn't mean to hurt you." He shook his head and looked into her eyes. He always knew there was more detail to tell her. He hadn't been looking forward to explaining this one. He was ashamed of how far things had gone. People would have been shocked at the fact that he had no breaking point... he was stronger than anyone in their opinion and he could take anything they could throw at him.  
  
He couldn't. He'd refused to respond to Stark's final threat on his daughter and he felt awful about that. What kind of a man did it make him, to leave his daughter to the mercy of men like those? What if he'd never come round that morning? The country would be at war, Palmer wouldn't be President and his daughter… she'd likely be as dead as him… with Kate Warner dancing on their graves.  
  
"Jack, sweetheart you're worrying me." Laura said softly. He stroked her face and pulled her close to kiss him. Her tongue moved over his lips, followed the contours of his teeth beneath them and then found his own as the kiss got deeper. Her hand moved behind his neck and her fingers twisted in his hair as they had done the previous evening. He knew then he could never let her go, whatever Kim thought of her and Alfie, he wasn't going to leave them. She'd have to come around somehow, he'd find someway to convince her, someway to show her how much they meant to him.  
  
Laura felt the tear roll down his cheek and the salty liquid ran over her lip. She pulled back and looked at him troubled once more.  
  
"I'm not going to leave you Laura, even if Kim isn't happy about us being together, she'll have to get used to it." Laura hushed him.  
  
"Jack, don't be silly. I know how important it is for your kid to like a new partner. I'm over the moon that Alfie likes you so much. I know he's wanted to have a Daddy like all the other kids at school for a long time… but even bearing that in mind he never liked the other guys I dated." She smiled sympathetically, "He's a good judge of character." Jack's face fell.   
  
"These marks…" he began, touching the biggest scar on the lower right side of his ribcage. "It happened the day… the day of the bomb." He sighed, it was always so hard to talk about it, Laura had been wonderful and so compassionate towards him but it still hurt and no matter how close to her he felt, he was always afraid that his next admission of detail would scare her away.  
  
"I was tortured for information." She was truly shocked this time and he felt his heart sink so fast he actually had to lean away as he thought he was going to be sick. She never spoke, and eventually he was forced to continue.  
  
"They caught up with me and… they cut and burnt me, until I told them what they wanted to know." He said quickly.  
  
"You told them where the bomb was?" she asked. He shook his head.  
  
"That wasn't what they wanted; they were the ones who sent it and I had evidence to prove that… I thought I did… I never told them. That's why I have the pills, Laura, they stopped my heart for a while…"  
  
"They what?" She was shaking now and he put his hands on her bare arms to try and steady her. She hadn't realised quite what his job entailed or the risk he was so often taking, just completing a simple order.  
  
"They electrocuted me and the guy went too far, he wasn't supposed to kill me, I think I was probably dead for a few minutes…" A tear rolled down Laura's face and was soon followed by many more. But she wouldn't take comfort in him, not yet. "I had two attacks that day… I get twinges sometimes… the doctor said the pills will help… I just have to look after myself better."   
  
Laura put her hands to her face but didn't try to hide her tears or wipe them away. She looked from his eyes to the marks on his body and back and forth many times as though it was too much to take in. Then her right hand came down to touch the pale marks…  
  
"How could someone do that…" she said in little more than a whisper. How could someone hurt another person like that just over some information, some political or financial gain? How does a mind like that work? How… how can it be okay to cause someone so much pain? I know sometimes people have to be killed… I know that's what is expected in some situations. I don't agree with it, if you punish someone for taking a life, who punishes you when you take theirs? As for this…" She ran her hand over his raw looking scars. "How is it acceptable to do this?" Jack froze; he knew the next question on her lips even before she did.   
  
"Did you do that to people?" Jack took a deep breath and his chest hurt so much. He'd never told Teri or Kim the kind of work he had to do… the lengths he had to go to. Teri had been shocked when she watched him shoot people, the afternoon he took them away from Gaines. Laura wasn't a part of that world; she was a mother, a waitress, a part-time librarian for God's sake! She shouldn't have to learn of that kind of world. Maybe he was wrong to take her with him into it. How could he begin to make this all right, for her and for himself?  
  
"Yes I have done, I don't think I ever went that far… most people can't take that kind of pain…" he stopped realising it sounded more like he was bragging than trying to limit the level of monster he was portraying himself as. She frowned.   
  
"Laura, I told you I'm not proud of what I've done. I've hurt people; I've killed hundreds of people in my life. I'm a cop, a soldier, a federal agent… it is what I am supposed to do… I kill so that people like you and Alfie are safe and never have to know what kind of hell on earth is about to be unleashed on you!"  
  
Laura was angry at him for, seemingly, being self-righteous about his despicable actions. "Jack, I know I'm just a little nobody in the world you live in, but I thought as your girlfriend, I'd deserve a little more respect." She snapped at him. His chest was really tight and he wasn't sure if it was another attack or the feelings associated with heartbreak and the impending loneliness he was bringing upon himself again. Sometimes the body seemed to know a lot earlier than the conscious mind, the doom it was bringing upon itself.  
  
"Laura, you aren't meant to know this stuff…" he began in a softer voice, desperately searching for a way to make it sound less callous. How can you explain away, inflicting huge amounts of pain on someone? He'd done it at first, without question. These people wouldn't give information freely and he couldn't kill them quick if he needed to know what they did. In his younger more naïve mind, he'd seen them bringing it upon themselves. It changed when he was on the receiving end. If it was your beliefs and secrets at risk, you wouldn't just tell the enemy. There were ways of doing things, unspoken understandings and expectations. Inside the circle he worked, it was part of the process. How would Laura be able to identify with something like that?  
  
"Oh, so I should be grateful to be privilege to such controversial and confidential information then should I?" She didn't really know why she was so angry, she'd known he had killed people and that he'd tortured them… but until the links with his scars made sense in her mind, she'd never really made the connections in her head. The pain of others was abstract, theoretical and far away. Jack's pain was only too obvious to her. She'd seen him get the chest pains, which he would have to live with his whole life. She'd seen the myriad of scars that covered his body. He joked about some of them! His world was completely different to hers and at times she wondered if she really could be happy with him, knowing that everyday he would go to work and risk himself again.  
  
"Christ woman, that wasn't what I meant," he said rather too harshly, in his effort to make her understand. "Hell! You're so naïve…" She slapped his face hard and she looked so angry… so very angry, he thought she'd never forgive him.  
  
Her face went red and her eyes seemed on fire with rage. It wasn't Jack's fault entirely. This was a hangover from Marc. He'd called her naïve, stupid… all sorts of things to make her feel small and remain dependant on him. Jack wasn't to know what a blunder he'd made and even as she shouted at him and he followed her request, she was regretting making it. These were misunderstandings and she already knew the stuff he'd told her; she'd promised to help him come to terms with it and now…  
  
"Get dressed and get out of my apartment, Jack! Go away and leave us alone!" 


	31. Chapter ThirtyOne

Eddie watched as the sun began to come up and reflect on the mirrored wardrobes in Kim's room. He cradled the young woman in his arms and stroked her long blonde hair. The blanket he'd tucked around them touched her nose as he moved to get comfortable, finding it awkward to sleep fully clothed in her bed; and she wriggled as the tiny woollen fibres tickled her nose.   
  
She didn't look a lot like Jack in her physical features; her face was a similar shape and she shared his furrowed brow whenever she was worried… which admittedly was a lot lately. Though she did share a lot of his mannerisms and lately his strength and commitment was beginning to become more apparent in his teenage daughter. She'd always been stubborn like him. Eddie remembered the first time they had met. He'd gone up to Jack's office with some files and Kim was shouting at him. As Eddie knocked on the door, Jack was completely composed and in control.  
  
"Mr Bauer, I have the files you asked for; I ordered them for you and scanned them for the relevant details… I made notes here…" He'd been almost painfully eager to please back then and he almost cringed remembering how Jack had smiled at him graciously and nodded for him to hand them over.  
  
"Good job, Eddie…" The older man had said, flicking through the clean crisply printed and annotated pages. "Very good job in fact, you've saved me a few hours work here. I'm very grateful." He remembered Jack's smile then, the way his lip had crinkled from the left hand side and his right eyebrow raised a little as their eyes met for a moment.  
  
"It's… it's no problem Mr Bauer." He'd said shyly. Then Jack had come round from behind his desk and patted him on the shoulder, looking him right in the face he told him to call him Jack, not Mr Bauer, surely they knew each other well enough for that.  
  
Eddie had beamed at him appreciatively and he could almost hear the little chuckle he'd made as he walked over to his daughter, who still wore a frown. Jack had stroked a stray hair from his then; fifteen year old daughter's face and she'd shrunk back from him and scowled angrily.   
  
"I think my daughter will be quite grateful to you as well Eddie, since I so heartlessly forgot she had a cheerleading contest tonight and agreed to stay here till nine."  
  
"I can stay for you Mr… Jack. If you want I can finish taking notes and cross reference the names with the main database and…" Kim was perking up and Jack sighed, knowing what his answer must be. Teri was out of town on business and Kim would be convinced she was the butt of all the girls' jokes if no one was there to see her do her thing.   
  
"Well thanks Eddie, you're a good kid. I'll be back by eight-thirty…" Kim frowned and let out a heavy sigh. "Okay, okay, nine... I'll be back by nine and no later. What do you want to do, keep this young man up all night girl!"   
  
"Eddie doesn't mind do you Ed?" she had said precociously. He'd shook his head and Jack had watched the looks they gave one another, perhaps wondering if his daughter liked what she saw and he'd have to put up with her coming over with his lunch everyday, like she had when Milo started working at CTU on training.  
  
Jack went over to his locker and took off his shirt to change into a fresh white one for the evening; he'd been working since five-thirty that morning and still managed to look wide awake. Kim looked at Eddie suspiciously as he watched her father.  
  
"Mr Bauer, I mean Jack; I can stay late if you need me too. No one is home tonight and I don't mind…" he'd sounded a little flustered and just remembering it made his face turn quite red. Jack had put his arm round his daughters shoulder, seemingly just to annoy her, as it fell away easily, as soon as it touched her skin.  
  
"Dad! Jeeze I do have things to do you know… and stop treating me like a kid. I'm fifteen!" Jack had smirked at Eddie once again, showing his front teeth that jutted out just a little further than the rest.   
  
"God! Fifteen! Eddie, you hear that? She'll have me collecting my pension soon. Kim give your aging father a break will you, I've been up forever today!"  
  
"I don't know how you manage it Jack, I'm about half your age and I can't function without nine hours sleep!" Eddie had told him; before he caught Kim rolling her eyes at him and glanced away at the floor, embarrassed.  
  
"Well that's just what having half caffeine for blood does to you, Ed. I don't recommend it, unless you like watching trashy sitcoms at four in the morning. Sometimes I'd rather cut my own head off than watch that crap!"  
  
"Dad!" Kim had snapped. With that they had both left and Eddie had hung around in Jack's office a few moments before he had the will to move again and get on with his new project.   
  
He glanced at the picture of Jack and his wife and daughter on the desk. Kim looked more like Teri, but she shared Jack's personality so much that they worked like a comedy double act when they bickered. He looked at the jottings on Jack's notebook and the pages of scribbled notes. His ordered mind seemed to break down sometimes and find a release from his tactical training and functionality as he scribbled down song lyrics that never made up a whole song; or random lines of poetry that were usually crossed out in frustration.   
  
Something in Jack had always been trying to get out, and his scrubbed out words were his own denial of what he subconsciously longed to be. Jack's father was a soldier, his father's father and his before him… it made sense to follow where his old man led. His mother, Alice, had been a nursery school teacher and although it pained him to remember, he'd been such a mommy's boy as a kid. If his mother hadn't left them when he was nine years old, he might never have followed in his father's footsteps at all… who did he blame more for his cold heart?  
  
Though of course Eddie wouldn't know this, even Jack's wife didn't know it. Hell Jack himself wouldn't give time to these thoughts. It was another him; the him that wanted to just run away and follow his heart, not his head. Eddie looked down at the notepad and read the top page easily; Jack's spidery scrawl was like a new and rarely used font to Eddie.  
  
"Nina… can't make the meeting tomorrow, Kim's birthday dinner. Take Ed, he knows the case, call me at home if you need to. 310-555-3067."  
  
Eddie knew that number like he knew his own, although he'd only once called it. Almost exactly three years ago he'd called; he knew it was Jack's birthday and since he'd only recently lost his wife he thought maybe he could use some cheering up. The answer machine cut in and Teri's voice told him that the Bauers were unavailable to take the call and… and then it cut out abruptly. He'd not seen Jack again since the following day when he came into the office to be de-briefed before he went on leave.  
  
"Jack, I'm sorry to hear about your wife, if there is anything…" Jack had patted his shoulder and his usually wide eyes looked raw and exhausted as he nodded.   
  
"Thanks Ed, you're a good kid…" he'd looked distant a moment and his eyes wandered to Nina's empty desk. "Good luck in your new job." He'd said with the slightest attempt at a smile. Eddie had done something that he knew he'd regret whether he did it or not. He hugged him and Jack had fleetingly returned it before stepping back and trying again to smile,  
  
"Take care, kid." He'd said as he stepped away and went down the grey halls to the holding room where Mason was doing the de-briefs.   
  
Eddie had gone to the bathroom and sobbed that day until Tony Almeida had come to find him around an hour later. Jack was gone when he got back to his desk and he'd never seen him since.   
  
Eddie looked down at the young woman in his arms and stroked a hair from her face as he remembered her father doing years before. He was attracted to Kim, she was very pretty and fun to be with; but Eddie knew as well as he knew his own name that there was more to his desire to help her find her father.   
  
Eddie looked at the photo by her bedside and knew that he was doing this for himself as much as her. He needed to find Jack too. He missed him a lot and the thought of never seeing him again was too much to bear. He'd do anything to find him, anything at all and nothing and nobody was going to stop him. 


	32. Chapter ThrityTwo

"Alfie, please just shut up will you!" Laura snapped at her son as he got dressed to go and visit Nana. She'd called her mother and told her that she had to go to work, and asked if she could have Alfie at her place for the day. Janice had been only too happy to help since she thought it would give her daughter the evening alone with her new boyfriend.   
  
Alfie had gone on and on about Jack leaving so suddenly until Laura had started to cry and told him to just be quiet. He'd been angry at Jack then himself, although he didn't really understand why. He just knew his Mom was sad and that it was Jack's fault; that was all that mattered to a seven year old who was crazy about his Mom.  
  
Jack sat on his couch with his head in his hands for a long time. The room seemed to hum with a foreboding silence that ate away at him and made his conscience sound even louder.  
  
'Jack you stupid fool!' he heard over and over again. 'Why didn't you just explain properly? Have you ever heard of sensitivity, you ass!' He wept, with deep hollow sobs that seemed to come from right inside his soul. Then his chest really started to hurt and he clutched at it with his right hand, trying to take slow breaths through his tears.   
  
"Oh God!" he gasped, "Oh God, not now; please don't let this happen now…" he riffled through the pockets of his jeans searching for his bottle of pills but he couldn't find them. When did he last have them? He hadn't taken one for a while… He searched all his pockets in all his clothes. Looked all over the apartment, but as he made it to the bathroom cabinet it was too late. He moaned in agony as his heart constricted impossibly tight and stopped his breathing enough to cause him to lose vision. Stumbling back towards the door he finally collapsed and fell behind the apartment entrance… his last thoughts, as the world fell away were of the sun streaming in through the patio doors in his house and as the light grew he had time to wonder if this was his time… was this just his imagination? Or was this his interpretation of the light that so many people said they saw when they were near death?   
  
When he'd died before, he saw nothing, just black and thoughts of his daughter left alone with no one to care for her… thoughts as black as his heart… or so he thought at that point. He'd refused to give up the chip even when they would kill his precious little girl… or worse… As the pain won over everything else, he thought of his family; Kim, Laura, Alfie and the son that he might never live to see… Then all was dark and silent and there was no thought and no feeling, he was gone. 


	33. Chapter ThirtyThree

Janice arrived and stood at her daughter's front door and waited for her Grandson to get his bag, Bilbo and Spiderman. For a second she thought she heard something down the hall, perhaps a shout. Listening again she found only the buzz of the hallway lights and the kids on the lower floors arguing about who won a game of cards on the stairwell.  
  
"Why so sad, Alfie?" Janice asked, as her Grandson stomped out of the apartment with his little backpack. He shrugged and Laura was even less giving with information.   
  
"I have to get on Mom; Dimitri has been calling for me to work today and I need to get out quick." Her mother nodded and told her she would keep Alfie overnight if she wanted. "No that's okay, I said we could go to the park tomorrow… just bring him back after nine tonight could you?" Janice agreed and kissed her daughter goodbye. Alfie wouldn't leave without another kiss and he flung his arms round his mother's neck and whispered,  
  
"It's okay Mom, I love you always." Laura fought the urge to cry and smiled broadly at her son.   
  
"You be good for Nana, okay Alfie?" He nodded and she watched as he walked down the hall holding his Nana's hand and then scowled at Jack's door and kicked it hard with his shoe. When Janice asked what was wrong he told her he'd stumbled. She cast a weary roll of her eyes towards her daughter and they disappeared down the stairs.  
  
Jack woke with a start, he had no idea how long he'd been out, but he had heard a thump next to him and he shuddered and clung to his aching chest. He knew if he was going to survive he had to get his pills, they had to be at Laura's and somehow he had to get up and over to her door.   
  
'You'll be lucky if she doesn't just let you die there in her doorway after the way you spoke to her, Bauer!' he heard in his head. Constant ridicule wasn't going to make it any easier.  
  
Across the room he heard his cell phone vibrate on the bedside table, but he had no hope of getting to it and then making it over to Laura's apartment for his pills. His chest felt like it was in the clutch of a giant and Jack found himself picturing Alfie's story books of the BFG and the mutants of the X-Men. Hell it hurt so bad! People thought he was some super soldier being able to take so much pain and survive, and here he was imagining a cartoon character crushing his tiny heart in giant tree-trunk fingers!  
  
Laura wept like she hadn't done in years. As soon as her mother and son were out of sight she'd shakily returned to her apartment and closed the door softly, her head falling onto the back of it as the tears finally came free. Her mind was reeling. She didn't believe in 'a life for a life' or the death penalty. In her heart she knew it had to be someone's job to protect the country and its people… but why did it have to be her boyfriend?   
  
Did it hurt because he killed people or because he continually put himself at risk of being killed? It didn't feel right that he took lives, but when faced with losing your own… if someone hurt the people she loved she knew she'd go against whatever morals she thought she had…'At least you're living'. She heard her own words repeated in her mind, and it felt like her head was being beaten from every side, like rocks in a tempest. Whatever Jack had done, he didn't do it without thought; he was remorseful for his misdeeds, even when she believed he didn't need to be… he was a good man. She loved him… it hurt to be angry with him, it hurt that he wasn't there and it always felt so good to have him close… last night…  
  
The tears poured from her eyes and she dropped to the floor in a heap. She could still feel him holding her when she closed her eyes. Still feel his breath on her neck, the scent of his skin; the warmth of the musk he radiated, that mingled with his aftershave and made her weak at the knees. Who was she trying to kid, she'd die for that man and kill for him. Her son was her world but so now, was Jack, and when she realised how strong their bond must have become for her to think like that… she knew none of it mattered. Nothing mattered so long as they were together.  
  
Jack cringed as his chest tightened again and he was unaware now of the tears rolling down his face or the trickle of blood that ran from his eyebrow, where he'd fallen against the door frame. He knocked with all his strength on Laura's door and it only produced a light tap. If she hadn't have been lying behind it she wouldn't have heard at all. She pulled herself up and rubbed at her tears with the sleeves of her sweater. Trying to compose herself, she pulled open the door a little.  
  
Jack's head was bowed and he was wheezing and clutching at his chest. He only just managed to get out the words… "Laura, I love you… I… Pills…" before he stumbled forwards and she grabbed him and helped him inside. He slid down the wall and slumped against it while she ran to the bathroom, where she'd seen the brown plastic bottle; and poured a glass of water.  
  
It took a while for him to relax and for the medication to start to ease his pain but she sat on the floor beside him and held his head to her chest and stroked his damp hair; all the time whispering how she was sorry and she loved him and would always be there for him. At that time nothing seemed more natural and everything that went before slipped away into space.   
  
If you asked either of them to this day, they probably couldn't tell you how it began. He could vaguely remember kissing along the crocheted trim of her vest, but was sure that she had started something before him. Laura had a memory of stroking his bare skin where his t-shirt had rolled up over his hip and then as his teeth nipped at the soft skin of her breasts, she'd pulled the black shirt over his head and he was above her as their lips pressed together in an eternal kiss.  
  
Jack felt like each moment was a lifetime and could remember every tiny detail of her body and her movements, and the dialogue of her moans and sighs as he gently found his way home. Laura remembered his eagerness and his hunger… his apparent need to let everything else disappear behind them as he took her and made her his forever.  
  
They made love all afternoon and as the light outside began to fade away they drifted in and out of sleep… one or the other of them, gazing at the sleeper and showing their affection with butterfly kisses or gently nuzzling closer. Laura looked at the marks on his body and moved down over the moist cotton sheets to kiss each one; telling herself with each soft caress of her lips on his warm skin; that he'd never be hurt like that again.  
  
He woke to find her lips brushing and sucking at his torso and as she felt his breathing change and his body react she glanced up at him with her unquenchable hunger and he smiled and stroked her hair as her mouth sank lower.  
  
"Laura!" he almost gasped. "I love you so much; I don't ever want to be without you again. Baby, promise you'll never leave me." Looking into his eyes, with so much love it made him ache, she whispered.   
  
"I'm yours Jack Bauer; no one will ever be able to change that." He ran his hand over her cheek and she kissed and sucked his fingers.  
  
"I'll never let anyone come between us, my angel." He sighed as he lost himself in her once again. "Never." 


	34. Chapter ThirtyFour

Alfie didn't take long to come round to forgiving Jack. When Janice bought him home at a quarter past nine, he was tired, but seeing the big smile on his Mom's face as she opened the door he knew things were all better now. Laura giggled as Jack gathered up his clothes and sneaked into the bathroom behind her, and Alfie knew he couldn't stay angry; particularly when he didn't really understand why he had been in the first place.  
  
"Hi sweetheart," Janice said, patting her daughter's arm and leaning to give her a quick peck on the cheek. "Did you have a good day?" Laura couldn't take the big grin off her face even if she had tried. She nodded and seemed to melt as she felt Jack slip his arm around her from behind and nuzzle his head to hers.  
  
"Hi Janice, how was your date last night?" he asked, chewing on his bottom lip to stop from grinning like an idiot. Janice's eyes lit up and she gave her daughter a knowing look.  
  
"Obviously not as good as yours, dear." He blushed a little, and Janice stroked his bare arm and laughed. "Come on then, which one of you is going to get me a cup of tea before I trudge back across town?"  
  
Jack had spoken to Alfie and apologised for being a fool earlier that day and making his Mom sad. They played chess and Jack let Alfie win even though he moved both the rook and bishop in a knight's move and persisted to move pawns any which way dependant on where Jack's King went. Then he took him to brush his teeth and get ready for bed before reading him a story while Laura and her mother chatted.  
  
"So what happened?" Janice asked, looking over her shoulder to check that Jack was not within earshot. Laura giggled.  
  
"Stuff." Was her only answer at first and Janice had to pry for way longer than should be necessary, until eventually Laura admitted that they had spent the day in bed together. At first Janice had complained that she'd lied to get her to take care of Alfie, but Laura knew her mother well enough to know that she didn't mean it.  
  
"What's he like?" Janice said, her face taking on a rosy glow.   
  
"Well mother I wouldn't have spent all day in bed with him if he wasn't any good would I?"  
  
Things had felt a lot easier that night and when Alfie was fast asleep and Janice had taken a cab home, Jack and Laura returned to her bed and talked quietly about their misunderstandings. This time they were both more careful and honest in their reactions to the new information. Jack told her he wasn't now or hadn't ever been proud of how he'd harmed people. He explained that he'd always tried to find other ways to do things and that unlike many officers he had learnt to question many of his direct orders, when asked to take a life.   
  
"I wouldn't have been tortured at all if it weren't for the fact that I was going against procedure. I know you think I was a real hero that day Laura, but a lot of people would find that very hard to swallow." Laura smiled and stroked his face.  
  
"I'm good at my job Laura, but I think I've sacrificed everything else for it, far too much. I don't want to do that anymore. I guess my going against orders was more about me rebelling for what I thought was right. I was never meant to do that, soldiers follow orders or people die; I guess I feel guilty for wanting something more. I've tried to focus on what I find important… I try to be a good man, to enjoy my life not just live it and I tried to love my wife and daughter… I find it hard to do all that stuff… I guess I'm just emotionally inept!" She chuckled softly.  
  
"Oh Jack, all you need is a little confidence in yourself. Look at the way you have been lately. The things you have faced… that takes courage and strength. Those things aren't just for your job, you know… believe me it takes a lot of guts to love again after you've lost someone. You are such a sweetheart…" She paused to think and he looked at her curiously. "Maybe you aren't like that at home… but I know you are honest with me… maybe it's time you braved being more honest with other people too?"  
  
"I think I just find it difficult to show affection on my own, you always take the lead." Again she chuckled.   
  
"I remember a few times yesterday where you led me astray Mr Bauer!" he smirked.   
  
"Only because I already knew what you wanted, I'm scared of trying new things. I want to do something interesting with my life, not just deal with disasters and run round with a gun. I don't even like guns, I never wanted to be a soldier, and I only did it because that was what my father wanted…" At last it was all coming out. "I marvel at the way you are with Alfie, the way you are so friendly and compassionate; Teri was the same. I just don't understand how you can give so much all the time… you'd do anything for Alfie wouldn't you?"  
  
"Yes, of course. I'm his mother and I love him, but look at all you've done for Kim. Don't tell me you wouldn't do the same for her…"  
  
"I'd do anything for her, but it doesn't mean I find it easy to show her I care… doing things isn't enough is it. Kids need love and affection and I'm not good at that." He was so angry and frustrated with himself. Laura was worried about him getting stressed again. She dearly wanted him to see a doctor but he'd told her it wasn't necessary and for the time being she didn't want to push him if he felt okay. Her own fear of the medical profession kept her from being more assertive, the last time she was in a hospital, she was accused of beating her son. It might have been a simple process to ascertain that she hadn't, but the memory gave her chills.  
  
"Jack, you are a good father to Alfie; he knows that and he thinks the world of you. You read him stories and teach him stuff and kiss him goodnight… didn't you do that with Kim?" Laura could almost see the cogs of his mind reeling round.  
  
"Yes, I tried to… I try to do all the right stuff with Alfie; I know sometimes I was overprotective with Kim. I hope she doesn't hate me." He sounded so frightened of that possibility. Laura turned onto her side to face him and put her arm round his hip.  
  
"If she has even a little of your heart, she'll always love you, whatever you do. Parents are meant to be overprotective. My Dad was terrible with me, I was always told off for wearing short skirts or make-up and stuff. My Mom is wonderful; she was always more of a friend than my Mom."  
  
"I don't think my Mom could have loved me very much; she left us when I was nine and my father was never affectionate. I guess I don't really… well I have always had to muddle through with Kim. I hope she knows I love her… I hope I can do better with Alfie and our baby… Shit! I've really screwed up, haven't I?" Laura put her arms around him and kissed him tenderly.  
  
"Well stop waiting then Jack. If you want to do something else with your life, then stop thinking and start doing, if you want to be a better Dad and lover… okay well you don't really need to be a better lover!" she smirked and he started to lick her neck and nibble on her ear, the way she liked it.  
  
"Oh! Jack, you know I…" she shivered at his touch. "Jack! Oh that feels so good. Stop… we should talk… not…" he ran his tongue down her neck and began sucking at her silky soft skin, then as he felt her begin to tremble he stopped and sat back to listen as she had asked. She opened her eyes, now irritated that he had stopped. "You tease!" he chuckled.  
  
"I want to have more time for myself and my family. I don't mind working at CTU, but I don't see why I have to be called in on every little thing… I don't want to become a depressed, lonely alcoholic, like my father. I don't want to die alone; Laura I was terrified I'd die yesterday and all I could think was that I'd hurt all the people I loved most. I thought you'd never forgive me and I'd never have the chance to make things right." Laura ran her hand up his chest and took his chin in her fingers lightly, before leaning close and planting a gentle kiss on his lips.  
  
"I wasn't really hurt by what you said yesterday I was just angry because you told me I was naïve; I know what you do… I talked to Mickey about you… well about agents anyway… he told me how things are far from black and white. I think what frightened me was the thought of you being hurt like that again and me losing you. Jack, I don't think I could cope without you anymore. All these years; since Richard died, I never let anyone in… and now… I don't think I would have the strength to build up those walls again if I lost you too." Jack pulled her into his arms and kissed her lovingly.   
  
She was strong willed and brave but underneath was a vulnerability that he found equally alluring. She had the strength to hold him together, but she also needed him to keep her safe. They worked as a couple and seemed to flow as one, not as separate and independent of one another, as he and Teri had been. Teri fought for him to always be there for her needs, but couldn't offer him the same; she had her own life to live… they both did, and it worked that way. Jack went away for long periods of time and Teri would be clingy on his return, but it didn't keep her by his side… perhaps because she never knew how much it mattered to him. Laura knew what mattered; because she noticed what he felt and wouldn't take no for an answer when he had something to hide and didn't want to tell. He needed something more from Laura; something he'd never been brave enough to give or receive from Teri… that something was the truth.  
  
"Laura, I feel the same. No one but you knows what goes on inside me. You are my angel and I need you more than anything in this world. I'm sorry for the way I acted and I should never have called you naïve… it couldn't be further from the truth… sensitive and naïve are not the same thing. I just hope that knowing what I do doesn't mess with your head the way it does with mine… you are such a wonderful woman… you make me want to be a better man."  
  
She'd wanted to explain but once again passion took over, it was early morning when she finally got around to explaining that it was her fear of Marc that made her react so badly. She thought her honesty would help ease things between them, it had become a keystone to their relationship over the last few weeks… but Jack's reaction worried her all over again.  
  
"Laura, I try to be a good man and not lead on my anger, but what that guy did to you and to Alfie… it makes me livid. I don't want to feel such wrath, the way I did with the Drazens; who I thought had Kim… but I think I'd find it hard to not hurt the guy if I ever met him. You put me back together Laura, stopped me from drowning in a bottle of scotch… It's you that gave me something else to be good at… you and Alfie. If anyone ever harmed either of you… I think all this stuff about moral judgements would go down the toilet… I know what I want now, what really counts…I'd kill anyone that hurt my family." 


	35. Chapter ThirtyFive

Paul wasn't happy. The morning shift was meant to be covered and his idiot supervisor hadn't taken into account that the banking had to be done that day as well. He pulled up the shutters and listened blankly to the dull whir of the security blind rising up over Camelot's main entrance. It hadn't been good for business last Saturday when the cops turned up… it hadn't been good for his marriage either; as he was called in to deal with it all on his wife's 30th birthday.  
  
"Hi there!" said a cheery voice behind him. Paul spun round wrenching the key from the shutter lock awkwardly and almost snapping the end off. This was not going to be a good day, he thought to himself.  
  
"Hello officer, how can I help you?" he said, his tone weary and slightly impatient.   
  
"Sheriff Wagner, I'm looking for a woman." Paul smiled and gave a heavy sigh. He opened the three locks on the main entrance and ushered the Sheriff inside, flicking the light switch beside the ticket booth. "I believe you had some officers in here on Saturday asking about a federal agent from the west coast?"  
  
"Yes we did." Paul said flatly, "One hell of a fuss it caused too." Sheriff Wagner looked at him apologetically. "So has this got something to do with that guy… he must have done something pretty major for them to be doing a search this far out for him."  
  
"I wouldn't know about that sir, I'm actually looking for his girlfriend… It's an altogether separate matter."  
  
Paul was only too happy to help with the officer's investigation, anything to get rid of him before things got moving outside and people started noticing a second police presence in a matter of days.  
  
"Yes, the guy was called Bauer, I believe. He's dating Laura by the looks of things… she comes here with her little lad every weekend. He loves the comic book movies…" Marc caught himself smiling. He missed the little boy and looked forward to seeing how he'd grown in the last four years.   
  
"Do you know where she lives?"  
  
"Oh, err yeah, he filled in one of our free ticket coupons, let me just file through the banking book and I'll give it to you, then you can be on your way." Paul said hopefully.  
  
"1230 Mountside Palisades, it's just a few blocks from here, down off fifth and main on the left." The Sheriff thanked him and left quickly without saying goodbye.  
  
Marc got into his beige non-descript station wagon and drove slowly down to the scruffy apartment block where both Laura and Jack lived. Taking out his binoculars he scanned the windows on the front of the building. Finding no sign of her, he got out of the car pulled on his overcoat and wandered around to a phone booth on the other side of the street. Once ensconced in his little hide out he used the binoculars once more and found the window he was looking for.  
  
Laura was in the kitchen doing the breakfast dishes and Alfie was sitting on the counter and drawing pictures in the steam covered windows with his fingers. Jack came over and kissed his girlfriend's neck tenderly and lifted the little boy off the counter and into his arms. They both laughed and Laura smiled out of the window, happily unaware of her ex outside watching them. Marc watched as Jack grinned and tickled the little boy.   
  
"Don't get too comfortable there, mister." Marc snarled, running his tongue over his lips. "That sure ain't yours for the keeping!" 


	36. Chapter ThirtySix

Laura slept late on Monday morning, it was almost 11am when she finally woke up. Jack had got up, showered and made breakfast for Alfie, and then the two of them went over to his apartment and packed up his stuff and prepared to take it all over to Laura's place. While there, he spotted the missed call on his cell phone and checked the number. Hearing Kim's voice gave him a chill. She hadn't known what to say and in the end just asked him to please try and call her again. Alfie noticed he was upset and sat down on the bed beside him and held his hand.  
  
"Daddy, why are you sad?" he said with a curious look on his face. Jack smiled noticing the way Alfie tried to copy his expressions. Laura had commented on it the previous night and said he was turning into a proper Daddy's boy. Jack couldn't help but smile at the turn things had taken in the last 24 hours. Things like that were becoming habits in his life; it seemed… as though someone had his whole life pre-planned. He gave brief thought to how his story might end and then smiled a little, thinking of the dream… it all came so close to ruin though, yesterday. He rubbed his chest at the memory.  
  
"Are you sick again Daddy?" Alfie said quickly. "Shall I get Mom?" Jack sighed and squeezed the little boy's hand.  
  
"Alfie, you are so much like your mother… stop worrying, I'll tell you if I'm sick again." Alfie smiled but looked like he felt he'd been told off. Jack knew he should be more careful in the way he spoke to Alfie; he was a very sensitive child and reminded Jack of himself at that age. Perhaps that's why he found it easier to relate to the boy than he did his own daughter. He knew he had to be more honest with both of them. "I got a call form my daughter." He said quietly.  
  
"Can I listen? What is she like? Is she going to come and see us?" Alfie asked, suddenly excited by this knew progression within his family. Jack shook his head, a little surprised at the reaction he'd just got. He pressed the buttons on his phone and handed it to Alfie to listen.  
  
"Dad, I know you tried to call. I… Dad, I want to speak to you… if you still want to… Daddy I miss you. I'm sorry, I don't hate you or anything… please just come home. Or just call me again… Dad, please? I love you."  
  
Alfie handed the phone back and looked as sad as Jack, if not more so.   
  
"Are you going to leave us?" he said with a trembling voice. "Are you going to leave me and Mommy? I don't want you to go Jack; I want you to be my Daddy. I'll be really good and I won't make you sad…" his voice was almost pleading.  
  
"Alfie, I'm not going to leave you; just because I'm Kim's Daddy, doesn't mean I can't be yours too. I don't want to leave you and Laura, I couldn't. I need to call Kim and I think it would be good if she got to know you guys properly before we all start making plans for living together." Alfie grinned and jumped up off the bed.  
  
"You mean, we can all live in a house; can we live in your house Jack, by the sea? Can you and Mom have a wedding? Then me and Kim can have a little brother…"  
  
"Alfie, don't be a pest!" Laura said, walking across to them in a pair of blue silk pyjamas. "I was wondering where you two had got to." She ruffled her son's hair and kissed Jack quickly on the lips.  
  
"We came to get my stuff… you are still okay with that…" she shook her head and rolled her eyes.  
  
"Jack, look at this dump, you need looking after. Of course I want you to come live with us, unless you are offering us sea and sand and… maybe something else…" she winked at him and he unconsciously licked his lips, before sinking back into reality.  
  
"Kim called me, she wants me to call her… said she wants me to go home." Laura momentarily looked scared and her expression was exactly the same as her son's had been. "I'm not going without you two, don't worry about that… I'm just a little nervous and I don't know how to tell her about all this."  
  
"It's a pretty big thing to tell I guess. I don't expect to take Teri's place Jack; I hope you understand that, you have to make sure Kim understands that. I know that Alfie is an exception to the step parent rules." Her son looked confused. "Believe it or not Alfie, but some kids don't like having a new Daddy!"  
  
"Why?" he said pulling a face, like she was talking some strange language. "If he is good like Jack… Not like Marc though, I hate Marc… and fatty Dimitri." Laura laughed.  
  
"Yeah, Mom! Why wouldn't anyone want me to be their Daddy?" Jack smirked, running his hand down her thigh and briefly closing his eyes at the sensations it roused in him, feeling her smooth, silk covered curves.  
  
"Exactly what I thought! Now call your daughter and tell her sincerely what the hell you've been up to all this time!" Jack did a mock salute and Laura stuck her tongue out at him before picking up his bag to return to their apartment. Alfie ran after her and pulled Jack along with him.  
  
Jack decided he needed some time to think about how he would tell his daughter the news, and they thought the fresh air might help to clear his head. Laura dressed in blue jeans and a pale grey shirt and wore her hair up; then together they left for the park two blocks away. Alfie was excitable as usual and skipped on ahead down the stairs. Jack waited while Laura locked the door and then took her hand lightly in his own. He had to return his apartment key to the Super and tell them he wasn't going to renew his rental. He felt so good that morning, like he hadn't felt in years… many, many years. A warmth crept into his heart and he gazed at Laura as she walked slightly ahead of him. He was about to tell her what he was feeling and how things had changed so much for him but he was stopped suddenly.  
  
Alfie screeched as he reached the bottom of the stairs and scared the life out of his Mom and Jack. They both rushed down the last flight to find that it was no huge emergency after all, and only that, Spiderman had lost one of his arms.  
  
"I'll fix him later Alfie." Laura said trying to calm her distraught seven-year-old. "I have some special glue upstairs…"  
  
"But Mom, if you glue him, how will his web flicker work? He can't be a proper Spiderman without a web flicker!" Marc stood in the alcove under the stairs and listened to them with a smile on his face.  
  
"I'll operate on him later Alfie; I have special training remember…" Jack began.  
  
"You mean you can still make him better and he won't lose his super powers?" Jack grinned and patted Alfie's arm reassuringly, before leaving him with his Mom and heading off to find the Super. The old guy was out of his head and Jack decided that on second thoughts it might be better to hold off until he was sober before trying to get his deposit money returned. He explained this to Laura and she seemed a little saddened by it but didn't say anything more.  
  
"I can still be with you angel, I'm yours whether I have keys to somewhere else or not." She sighed and he started to feel a little apprehensive, wondering if he'd put his foot in it again. She said no more for the time being and they walked off towards the park. Jack was occupied with examining Spiderman all the way there and it gave Laura a little time to consider what she wanted to say.  
  
Marc strolled along behind; marvelling at how a federal agent under investigation could not have noticed he was being followed. He watched his ex-girlfriend too… she looked a lot better than when he left her… not nearly so vulnerable and frail. Her body was more athletic looking and she obviously took care of herself. Her hair was longer and she looked younger, despite the years that had fallen away between them.   
  
Marc looked tired and more than the seven years her senior. His dark hair was turning grey in places and his eyes were wrinkled with frown lines. He wasn't the man he'd been those few years earlier, life had taken its toll on him. His wife no longer found him attractive, she tired of his dreams and fixations on being a father and the sex had become much less frequent these days. When he wanted to be trying for a baby everyday, she could no longer find anything to draw her to the man she married only three years before. She didn't make the effort Laura did… she didn't hold on to her child either! His wife Alison had lost him a son… and now he was out to find another… the easy way.  
  
Alfie ran off with the left over bread that Laura had brought with them, and sat by the pond to break it up into tiny pieces for the ducks; carefully counting out an even number for each bird. It never worked though; the greedy green headed Mallard was always faster to the chunks than the others. Laura and Jack sat on the bench a few yards away and he put his arm around her shoulder; while Marc installed himself behind a big old oak tree within earshot of the two new lover's conversation.  
  
"Jack, I was thinking… "Laura began. "I'm no idiot; what I said earlier about Kim; I don't expect her to just accept me you know? I'll understand if she doesn't like me moving in on her Dad, especially given all she's been through…"  
  
"What about all I've been through?" he said, pertinently. "I love you, Laura. Kim is not a child anymore and I feel a bit mean saying this… my feelings count too. I need you. I never wanted to tell anyone that, my whole life… it's not good to seem weak in my profession and I guess that rubs off on my personal life." He seemed angry, but Laura knew it wasn't at her. "I'm sick to death of being a tool for this country and having to put myself and my family at the back of everything, from now on that's what comes first." Laura grinned.  
  
"I like this masterful you, Jack. I don't want to upset your daughter, our kids are important…" She stopped suddenly and looked around. Marc quickly ducked behind his tree.  
  
"Jack, this isn't the right place but maybe it is the right time…" she took his hand and laughed to herself a little, so that Jack had to look at her with bewilderment for a second or two. "Jack will you marry me? Will you be my husband and adopt Alfie as your son?" He coughed. After the previous days events this was the last thing he expected her to say… though he needed no time to consider his response.  
  
"Yes Laura, I can't think of anything that could make me happier." They kissed then, and were blissfully unaware of Marc fuming behind the tree just a little to their left. For that moment everything felt right with the world, neither of them had ever been happier or felt more complete.  
  
The moment wasn't to last.  
  
Marc found himself angrier than he had ever been in his life before. His face turned magenta and he gnawed on his lower lip and ground his teeth. It was difficult to tell whether he made any conscious decision to act, or whether things just fell into place.  
  
As Laura opened her eyes to look upon her now fiancé for the first time, it was as though she was stepping into a dream. Jack's blue-green eyes gazed back at her and she shivered. He shook his head as though things were too overwhelming to contemplate the enormity of the moment.  
  
"Kim is going to be pretty shocked!" he said with a heavy but elated sigh. Laura left him to make the call alone, as was his wish; and went to find her son to tell him the wonderful news. 


	37. Chapter ThirtySeven

It was the first time Kim had been back to the family home in over a year. Jack had kept the house keeper on, but could barely bring himself to collect the mail, let alone stay in the place for longer than a few minutes. She wandered around like it were a dream and she was sleep walking into her old room. Eddie looked into Jack's room as he passed the open door. The bed was dressed in a marl grey quilt cover and black and grey striped pillow cases stood plump against the dark wooden headboard. Beside it there were no photographs only a single book… a copy of Wuthering Heights and a steel plated angle poise lamp. Eddie briefly began to picture Jack wandering the country like Heathcliff, with long hair and a dark mood; little did he know it couldn't have been further from the truth.  
  
"Ed!" Kim called from her room. He walked on down the hall and smiled as he entered her very teenage bedroom. Posters hung on the walls with frayed edges as though they had been up and down regularly, depending on who was flavour of the month. In direct contrast with her father's bedroom; Kim's was covered in photos of her parents. Seemingly they dealt with their loss in very different ways. Kim must have picked up on what Eddie was thinking and patted the bed for him to come and sit with her.  
  
"You want to see some of my photos?" She asked, not waiting for an answer before she lifted up a gigantic red leather photo album. "This was when I was about six, Dad bought me a surf board and we went down to the beach for my birthday…" she laughed. "Mom dropped the birthday cake in the sand!"   
  
Eddie looked down at the photo of Jack pushing his little daughter out into the deeper water with big yellow water wings on each arm and a bright green wet suit. Jack didn't look much different; thinner maybe and his hair was still bleached blond from the sun… back when he got some occasionally. As the perusal of the album continued, Eddie noticed how obvious it should have been that Jack had a very different side at home. With his little girl, he was softer, more vulnerable and more compassionate than Eddie could have guessed from even his more touching conversations with him. He watched as Kim guided him from page to page with many stories for each.  
  
"This is my Grandpa Bauer; he always used to frighten me when I was a little girl." Ed looked concerned. "He was always so stern and somehow sad… I never met my Grandma, she ran off with an artist when my Dad was a little kid." She paused then and gazed at the photo of her Grandfather. "He had dark hair, even at almost sixty when he died from alcoholism; he still had the same thick black hair." That aside, Jack was eerily like him. He had his mother's smile, which haunted his father everyday; but otherwise he looked the spit of his Dad.  
  
"I think he was quite a fearsome man." Kim continued, "Quite strict. My Dad was an only child and he never had much tenderness in his life. Not when his mother left. I guess that's why she left!" Eddie listened, interestedly. Jack's background was what he studied all day now and every morsel of detail seemed to feed his passion for the man. "I don't think Dad really feels comfortable showing affection… it was always Mom that started things…" Kim laughed, "For men who lead with such authority; the Jack's just seemed to follow when it came to emotions… I guess Alice got bored of taking the lead."  
  
Eddie suddenly felt the need to speak up. "But he always seemed to be so loving to you?" Kim laughed softly.  
  
"Yeah, but I was always fine with being the bossy one! When Grandpa died, it was like he could stop being Jack junior and just start to be himself… I guess the work was too much by then… He and Mom started having a lot of fights, he just didn't know what he wanted anymore and didn't know how to stop following orders." She turned the page and the conversation changed with the images that followed.  
  
"This was while he was sleeping with Nina I think…" Kim said with a clear sadness in her tone. "He and Mom had been having real problems by then and he was staying at a friend's place… he came over and took me to the theatre for the night… I didn't get to see him much. Mom was really mad at him all the time but I just missed him too much to be mad." Eddie remembered when it happened. Jack had been hated in the office and very few people had time for him. He was terribly lonely and it was his downfall. At first he'd slept on his couch in the office, until Nina took pity on him and asked him over… It all went down the drain from then on, Nina lead him astray.  
  
"I wish I'd been able to help him back then." Eddie said unaware that he'd spoken his thoughts aloud. Kim looked at him confused. She couldn't remember their previous meetings when he was training, and Eddie preferred to keep his memories his own; untarnished by Kim's interpretations. He hadn't reminded her of those days and now chose to keep much of the detail back.  
  
"I was training at CTU for a while when Jack was doing the investigations…" Kim waited patiently; always eager for any new detail about her father… always ready to dive on any opportunity to talk about him. Of course Eddie didn't mind this at all. "I remember when he stayed overnight… I had moved in with some new flatmates or I would have asked him over to my place… I always wish…" he trailed off, thinking he'd divulged too much.   
  
"You weren't to know what Nina was up to… even Dad had no idea…" Kim said with a sad sigh.  
  
"I just wish I'd still been at home; Mom wouldn't have minded Jack staying with us and then maybe all this with Nina…"  
  
Suddenly Kim realised just how much Eddie cared about the situation. She gave him a hug and kissed his cheek. He tried hard to bring himself back from his thoughts, back to her warm embrace, but all he could see was Jack. He saw him the way he'd walked in on him one morning, in shorts and a crumpled shirt, several days' worth of stubble and tired eyes. For a second it seemed blatantly obvious that Nina had to be using him… after all, who would fancy him looking like that!  
  
Eddie put his arms around Kim and held her close; trying to put his thoughts and feelings into perspective. He tried to rationalise what he was doing and more to the point why he was doing it. He felt stupid… how could he hope to get what he wanted? Jack was having enough trouble in his life already … he'd gone away to find himself. Was it too much to hope that he'd want to find Eddie Jerome when he came back… if he came back?  
  
"I miss him Ed, I wish he'd call. Do you think he got my message yet? I just want to hear that he is happy." She said softly, from her position curled against his chest, she sounded muffled but Eddie knew, inside, how she felt; the words didn't need to be understood fully.  
  
"Kim, he'll call. I know he will… he has to. Look at these pictures… you're his daughter, and he's the best Dad, really he is…" Eddie felt like this was getting far too close to his own heart. I'll never give up looking for him Kim, even if CTU won't let me work on their terms… I'm good at what I do… I'm going to find him… whatever it takes."  
  
"He seemed so happy with Laura. I know him Ed; I know what he's like. No one else sees it… in fact he does his best to hide it. When things are hard he goes back to basics. I don't know if that's training or instinct. He's gone away to try and sort himself out like he wanted to when Grandpa died. My Dad loves his work… but after all it's done to him…I was scared he'd become cold like his father… I know he needs to do this for himself but I just want to be there to hold his hand, like he would do for me." She stared at a more recent photo of her father playing basketball out in the front yard.   
  
"He just wants to feel safe… he gets that in two ways, making the world safer, like you said and by… he needs someone to take care of him, that's about family." She ran her finger over the picture as though she were wishing that he'd just pop out like the genie in the lamp.  
  
"I just hope that I can still be a part of that family." She said, stifling her tears. "Without him falling apart again or becoming Jack senior." 


	38. Chapter ThirtyEight

Jack took a deep breath and stared down at the shiny green plastic of his cell phone, the numbers waited for his fingers to type out the same pattern he'd done many times, and this time for him to click the call button too. His eyes followed Laura as she walked over to the pond and looked around for Alfie, so that she could tell him the happy news. She turned and smiled at him a moment and his heart seemed to lift up at the site of her beautiful brown eyes meeting his. It was the encouragement he needed and as she turned back to look for their son, he found the courage to dial his daughter's number.  
  
Kim was shocked from her sleep. Eddie woke quickly and tried to rouse her; realizing her cell phone was beeping. It took her almost a minute to clear her head and pick up the phone to see it was her father calling.  
  
"Hello?" she said with a quivering voice, still not completely convinced she had recognised the number correctly.  
  
"Kim, it's… Hi, sweetheart…" For all his thought on the matter and the amount of times he'd had this conversation in his head, he still hadn't a clue how to start. So as always he waited on her lead.  
  
"Dad! Oh Dad is it really you?" she said in breathless gasps. "Daddy?"  
  
"I'm so sorry I left you, Kim… I never should… I was just so scared and I just couldn't see how to fix things. I didn't know how I could…"  
  
"Dad, its okay… it's all okay now. I'm doing fine, well… you know?" His guilt started to seep in, how was he meant to tell her what he'd been doing?  
  
"I wanted to come home… I just couldn't and then…" He paused, was this too soon? Surely he should spend longer making amends before he went off on his own happy tangent.  
  
"Did you get my message? I thought about you on Friday; trust you to call now… bet you just wanted your birthday gift!" She laughed a strained awkward giggle. He smiled and gave a little chuckle.  
  
"I think about you all the time, I should never have left you Kim, I feel so bad for hurting you like that… for letting so many horrible things happen to you and for…" His voice trembled. "And for your mother."  
  
"Dad, it wasn't your fault, you aren't to blame… not for Nina or Kate… they just… you just trust too easily sometimes." For the briefest moment he questioned his relationship with Laura again. But his conscience bounced back an answer quicker than light, as he found her walking along the water's edge watching for Alfie.   
  
'You could trust her with your life Jack, you have done… she'd never hurt you. Heck she just asked you to marry her.'  
  
"I'm afraid, Kim," he said anxiously. "I… things have changed for me since I left LA and I don't want to hurt you…"  
  
"Daddy it's okay, whatever you are doing… you know I still love you. You can still come home… Dad you need to see a doctor and people here... they need to speak to you about things… you know… what happened. I'll be there with you Dad you don't have to be scared." She stopped suddenly, realizing she was only adding to his pressures. But it wasn't the threat of work that was making him nervous at all.  
  
"Kim, I met someone. I didn't intend to… I never thought… I will never forget Teri." Kim obviously knew what was coming and decided to make it easier on him. Part of her mind nagged at the way he'd called her Mom by her name; he never did that with her. Grandpa used first names, Jack was always 'Dad' and Teri was 'Mom'… but now. Kim wondered if he was going to expect her to call Laura 'Mom' now, okay she could deal with him having someone else… if it was that or losing him… but no one could ever replace her mother.  
  
"You met a girl?" she said warily.  
  
"She… It's been so hard for me to deal with all this stuff… she lives in the apartment where I'm staying… I never meant to fall in love…" he sighed and Kim could hear the barely restrained happiness in his voice, when he so much as mentioned her. 'That's how it should be.' She thought to herself; taking sometime to respond to the news she had known for days, that her father had only just plucked up the courage to speak of.  
  
"What's she like?" his daughter asked; just happy to know he was okay and wanting to be sure that he felt it was the right thing for him. Jack gazed across the park at his new fiancée, and tried to find words to describe what she meant to him.  
  
"Well she is quite a bit younger than me, almost 26…" he began with the most awkward factors to be sure Kim wouldn't have any nasty surprises. "She's a little taller than you, dark wavy hair… big brown eyes, she has a little boy. His name's Alfie." She could practically hear the smile on her father's face as he talked about the kid. "He's adorable; you'd like him, I think. I told him about you… he is looking forward to meeting you… that's if… well if you want to?"  
  
"Oh Dad of course I want to meet them, what you think after all these years of checking my boyfriends out, I'm going to let you have a girlfriend and not make sure she's good enough!" She laughed and he softly chuckled and told her he guessed that was fair enough.  
  
"Does she make you happy Dad?"   
  
"Happier than I've ever been in my life." He said quickly, before he had time to consider how such a statement might affect his daughter. He swallowed hard and felt the lump in his throat.   
  
'Remember sensitivity, Jack… do you even know what the word means?' he heard the voice in his head say; resuming its chastisement of his actions.   
  
"Well it sounds like Laura is really good for you," Kim replied without much sadness in her voice. "I look forward to getting to meet her and tell her all your embarrassing secrets and bad habits!"   
  
Jack laughed and told his daughter that she probably already knew most of them. What was that, that nagged at his mind though? He looked over to Laura; she was still wandering along the pond's edge but her pace had quickened. Suddenly things began to make a worrying kind of sense.  
  
"Kim what did you just say?" he said in a controlled voice, which pulled him back to those horrible days. She seemed confused at first.  
  
"I said I'll have to tell her your…"  
  
"Before that? You said her name… I never told you what her name was, I only told you…" His mind was shooting off in a million different directions.  
  
"I'm sorry Dad, I… CTU was tracking your cards, they traced you and I called the local police…" Jack's heart dropped like a stone, he got up to go after Laura without saying a word he was hastily scanning the area. His heart was feeling tight again and he was terrified that his fears were going to be founded in truth.  
  
"Shit Kim! Why? Why couldn't you just…" He had the foresight to not yell at her anymore and managed to stop before he made her cry. "Oh! I'm sorry Honey…" he was rushing across the park now, all the while looking for Alfie before he reached Laura, hoping he could just smile and say 'here he is… can't you even recognise your own son!' but he knew it wasn't going to happen.  
  
"Dad? Dad what did I do? God I'm sorry, Daddy?" Jack was pulled back to being father and for a second he was surprised at the ease he could break from his professional mind when he really wanted to.  
  
"You spoke to the police?" Kim nervously agreed. "Do you remember who you spoke to, which department? How did you find me?" He was agitated but was holding it together; just about. Kim stopped and asked Eddie the name of the officer.  
  
"Is he okay?" Eddie said quickly, "what's going on? Is he well?" Kim scowled, and had about as much patience as her father. "His name… Oh… err… Wagner. Marc Wagner." Kim told her father on the other side of the country and was surprised by the immediacy of his reaction.  
  
Jack took a deep breath and rubbed his hand over his face tensely. He blinked to hold back his tears, this was his worst fear… his dream was slipping away. He had to get to Laura. His legs felt like they were made of lead and she seemed so far from him.  
  
"Kim did you tell him where you found me? Does he know where Laura lives?" his voice was fraught with guilt and Kim knew it was her who should be feeling it not her father.  
  
"He told me about Laura and Alfie, said he worked with her husband… I told him that we traced you to a local cinema… Dad he asked for her address and told me not to tell her; said that he wanted to surprise her… Dad, what is wrong? What did I do?" She was so scared he was mad at her, and that he would never return now because of her interfering.  
  
"Kim the man you spoke to, hurt Laura. He tried to have Alfie taken from her and he hurt him too, Kim. Now I can't find him and…" His words trailed off as he finally reached his lover. She was crying and looked terrified. "Oh God! Baby, its okay we'll find him…" he said pulling Laura into his arms. She cried and continued to look over his shoulder for her little boy. He stroked her hair and furtively searched the park; his eyes welling up.  
  
"Jack, oh Jack, what if… oh God, what if someone has taken him? Jack we were so happy together, why Jack? Why? Our little boy!" Kim could hear her voice and was crying herself by that point. Jack tried hard to keep some control, but it was hard to see his love like that, especially since he knew, as always, that it was his fault. 


	39. Chapter ThirtyNine

Jack and Laura separated to walk around the pond and look for Alfie. "Baby, we'll find him. He can only have been gone a few minutes." He wiped her tears away and kissed her lips. "Be calm okay, just walk around that way and I'll meet you on the other side. Keep your eyes peeled and maybe he is just playing or something…" Jack felt like a fraud even offering her any solace. He knew what had happened; he just didn't want to admit it yet, to himself as much to her.  
  
"Kim, are you still there?" His daughter had been listening between her sobs the whole time. "Kim?" he said his voice barely restraining his anxiety.  
  
"Yes Dad, I'm sorry. I never meant…" she blubbered down the phone.  
  
"Kim I need you to get it together and tell me what 'Marc' said. Did he mention his relationship with Laura, or what happened with Alfie?" Jack was scanning every inch of the park his breathing slow and deliberate and his pace almost matching.  
  
"He… err… he said that Laura had a case of child abuse brought against her…" Jack laughed and she knew him well enough to know he was furious. She was nervous of telling him anything, in case it made him madder. It felt like when she was six and stole twenty dollars from his wallet. He came into the lounge and caught her in the act and went nuts.  
  
"Yes Kim, it was him that brought the case against her; he tried to steal Alfie away from her when he was two. The bastard broke his fingers and tried to blame it on her." He was obviously only getting angrier now and Kim didn't know what to do for the best. "If he so much as harms a hair on my boys head I'll…" Jack muttered to himself.  
  
Kim wiped at her tears and listened to her father's ramblings carefully. The first time she had thought she had imagined it… but her father had called Alfie 'his boy' and Laura had too. Suddenly the fear or losing him was all too real and she had to say something.  
  
"Dad, when we found out where you were, at the cinema…" she stopped; making sure he was listening. He acknowledged that he was and she continued timidly. "The guy there, who sent us the video footage…" She almost laughed as she finally came around to her point. "He said that you were married to Laura… that you had a ring on?" her voice faltered at the end and she struggled for breath when her father answered her completely honestly without a moment of caution about her feelings.  
  
"We are going to get married." He laughed edgily, "she asked me this morning… the ring was her fathers; she gave it to me for my birthday." Kim didn't know what to say and even if she had done, he didn't give her time to say it. "Kim, where are you now?" She once again felt scared to tell him.  
  
"I'm at the house, Eddie and I…" she stopped quickly, would Jack go mad at her for having a boyfriend, she wondered. He'd have to be a complete hypocrite if he did. She wouldn't put it past him.  
  
"Eddie, who? Why aren't you with Tony? Are you staying at the house alone?" His questions came thick and fast.  
  
"I'm staying at Tony and Michelle's place, I just wanted to come over here… you know Eddie Jerome, you worked with him at CTU?" Jack sighed trying to take in all this information. "We are, well he's been really good to me and helped me track you down." Jack's own guilt ran the overprotective thoughts from his head for a while and he asked to speak to Eddie. Kim happily handed over the phone, assuming that her father wasn't mad after all.  
  
"Ed, I need you to call Tony and both of you go to the office or whatever… I need to know everything about Marc Wagner; address, favourite haunts, medical, professional and any criminal records. I want everything. I have my PDA in the car, I'll need a few minutes to sort things out here, but I want every detail about this piece of scum. I'm Alfie's Dad now and if he ever tries to hurt him again I'll…" he stopped himself and took a deep breath. Laura was close now and he had to be there for her as her fiancé; not dealing with it as though it was just 'work'. Eddie agreed to do everything Jack asked and was about to ask him if he was well and other small talk when Jack requested something else of him; to take care of Kim and make sure she didn't feel bad for any of what was going on. "It isn't her fault; it's just a horrible coincidence. Please look after her Ed, she needs someone and I need to know she is okay."   
  
Eddie was over the moon that Jack needed him at all; let alone that he specifically asked him to care for his daughter, "Of course Jack, anything you want, I'll look after her and I'll send you everything you need…" Jack cut him off with a quick 'thanks' then told him to put Kim on again before he had to go.  
  
"Dad. I didn't know anything about this guy, I swear. I am so sorry Daddy, is Laura okay?" Jack wore a stern expression on his face and Kim could almost hear the sound of him gnawing on his bottom lip the way he did when he was tense.  
  
"No Kim, of course she isn't alright. Her worst nightmares are coming true before her eyes. I don't think you could understand how much this hurts until you have children of your own, I hope you never have to know what it feels like to have your baby taken from you." He watched as Laura came the last few yards towards him and fresh tears ran down her flushed cheeks. Kim knew he was in pain but she'd been through a lot too and she had never meant to cause any harm, she just wanted her father back.  
  
"Well I know what it's like to lose my mother and father, or are you going to come home one day Dad?" Her voice was hard and bitter and Jack knew he deserved it.   
  
"Kim, you haven't lost me!" he said short-temperedly. He counted in his mind and remembered that the old Jack wasn't good enough. "I didn't mean to be so hard on you sweetheart, I'm sorry. I'm just really scared right now, I love Alfie, and I don't want to see him get hurt again. I know this isn't your fault. Don't blame yourself Kim, okay?" She had agreed with his request but didn't for a second take him seriously. "I have to go now, I'll speak to you again soon."   
  
"I love you Dad…" she said quickly, but the phone went dead; he was gone and she felt so terribly lonely again. 


	40. Chapter Forty

Kim stared into space as her fingers moved mechanically to switch off her cell phone. Eddie quickly rushed away to call Tony at CTU. They would need to make arrangements for the information transfer and issues of protocol involved in contacting an agent who had, to all appearances, disappeared off the face of the earth until a few days earlier. Kim sat silently and stared at the louvered doors of her closet; through one open door she could see the dress her father had bought her for the School prom. It had been three weeks away when Teri died and ended up being the night after her funeral. Kim had almost torn the thing up, but Jack had stopped her. Silently he held her hand and with a pleading look in his eyes he had told her, 'Don't Kim!'   
  
She'd ignored him and proceeded to rip the lace trim off the neck line… anything to try and make him react. He had been like a zombie since he left CTU. He spent most of his days in bed although he rarely got any sleep. He didn't eat unless she cooked for him and sat and watched him labouring over it for almost an hour, until he had eaten it all. Looking at them together in those first few months, you would have thought he was the child. Teri had been reading Wuthering Heights and Jack must have reread it six times over, since the funeral. Kim was worried that he was getting delusional. She didn't sleep well herself, and often woke in the middle of the night and wandered the house. Sometimes she'd hear him talking to himself and this reminded her of Mr Lockwood and his dream of the night torment from the departed Cathy. Was her father being tormented in his dreams, or did he torment himself more when he was awake?  
  
Kim had thought she would have to deliver the eulogy at her mother's funeral, in front of her family and friends; all of which blamed Jack. It couldn't have been easy for him and caused to alienate him even more. In the end she only found out she was off the hook a few minutes before the time of the reading, when Jack pulled a few crumpled pages from the inside pocket of his black suit. He caught his cufflink on the charcoal shirt beneath and she saw for the first time how close to the edge he was.  
  
"It's okay Dad, here…" He had watched like a child, as she unhooked the shiny silver from the frayed shirt and then tried to smooth out the pulled stitches to make him look decent again. As if the way he dressed could hide the monster he thought he was! On the pages that lay on his lap she noticed one fragment.   
  
'Through all that Teri and I shared, I never stopped loving her warm smile and generous heart. I stand here today mourning not only the loss of a wife and the mother of my wonderful daughter Kimberly and the baby I will never know; but also the best friend I ever had. I fear I shall never know such love and friendship again.'  
  
The majority of that room had felt he deserved it, Jack included. Kim wept as she heard his calming voice utter those words; though not for the loss of her mother this time, but for the pain her father must be holding onto. He never admitted that he heard the whispers of Teri's family, or that any of their reactions bothered him, but Kim knew he was tortured by them. If only she'd found a way to tell him that it wasn't his fault, and make him believe it.  
  
Kim turned once again to the photograph of them at the theatre. Jack looked so debonair in his suit and despite his tired eyes and the unmistakable way that he looked like her, a seventeen year-olds, father in manner more than feature; he was young enough to still be an attractive prospect to another woman. She wondered what Laura fell for… he couldn't have looked that good out there in West Virginia, with only a few changes of clothes and the weight of the world on his shoulders. Was it a good thing that Laura didn't need the superficialities? Or was she praying on her father's vulnerability?  
  
Kim rose from her bed and went to the closet; pulling the dress out from the other clothes, she ran her finger over the tear. How could Laura make him better, when she; his daughter… his only family, couldn't even raise a smile from him anymore? How could Laura take his heart and make it live again, when Kim had spent months trying to repair his shattered existence?   
  
Maybe if she hadn't left… maybe if she'd forced him to do things instead of moving out to that crumby apartment… maybe if she'd given him something to strive for, made him feel wanted… helped him find some peace at home. She'd taken the job with the Matheson's because she no longer felt wanted. She couldn't live with him that way; live with him hating himself and gradually she began to feel the same.   
  
Not about him, she could never hate him. Somehow even though she knew it was his detachment that kept him from home and caused her mother to ask him to leave, she would never blame Jack for what she saw as just being himself. Kim would never hurt her father for being what he was. Her love was unconditional and the fact that her mother put demands on him… demands that took him away from her… it made her angry. She was as overprotective as him when it came down to it. So why didn't she have the courage to stand up for herself and what she wanted? She was her father's daughter and she was going to show it.  
  
She suddenly knew what she had to do. Whether her father wanted her or not, she was going to Huntington to be with him. What was the point in wondering if he wanted her to be part of his new family, when she wasn't even there to be a part of it? With her guilt, fear and jealousy she packed up a bag and prepared to fly over to find her Dad. This time she would make him feel wanted and needed and she, his daughter, would be there for him in his hour of need.  
  
Tony arranged for Ryan Chappelle to properly reinstate Jack; though it would take a few days to go through the processes. Eddie and Tony didn't, for one second, believe that Jack would wait for the correct authorization before he went on with his investigation. President Palmer would be alerted that Jack had been found and would surely want to speak to him. All this took time and Eddie made it clear that Jack was not in any mood to wait around.  
  
"Tony, he's changed…"Eddie paused to listen for Kim. "What we saw on that CCTV footage… Jack is in love with this chick… I think he asked her to marry him or something… Kim is pretty freaked."  
  
"Hell! Really? I never thought… I mean I was wondering if he'd be found alive at all. You mean he's made a fresh start?" Eddie felt his stomach churn, that was the last thing he wanted.  
  
"That's why he is so anxious about this investigation. This Wagner guy has taken the little boy. I never had Jack pegged as a family man and someone else's family too; but this… Laura… she's put him back together. Kim is scared that if we can't help him find the kid… that he'll never come back." Tony sighed and found it hard to find the right words.  
  
"You should never try to second guess him Ed. Just when you think you've got a handle on the guy, he does something right out there, you know?"   
  
Eddie looked around the Bauer's lounge, wondering what belonged to Jack. What was he like behind the work face? Eddie seemed to be learning so much more about Jack in one day than he did in the previous three years. He heard Tony sigh and shook his head in attempt to get back to the issue at hand.  
  
"Family is a big deal to Jack, Eddie. He was a real wreck when Teri asked him to move out… maybe none of this would have happened if it weren't for that…" Tony fell silent and was obviously thinking deeply about how each of their lives had been affected. Not only had Tony been with Nina, but he would never have met Michelle if Jamey hadn't have met an untimely end that day. Perhaps life could rise from the ashes for Jack Bauer as easily as it had for him.  
  
"Tony he asked me to look after Kim, but she is pretty hurt by this stuff… I know she is glad he's happy and all but…"  
  
"He can be pretty thoughtless sometimes." Tony interrupted. "I don't think he wants to hurt Kim by all this. None of us knew Teri had been pregnant until the funeral… well maybe George, but I think it really broke Jack's heart. He'd wanted for him and Teri to be a proper family again and for a moment that day, he really believed they could be… maybe that's part of the reason he wants this kid so much." Tony stopped to think a little further ahead.  
  
"He's a good father." Eddie said softly looking around at all the photos in the lounge room. Only one gave any evidence of him being at all proud of his professional life, a large black and white of Jack in army uniform, when he was in his twenties. The combination of the monochrome composition and the crew-cut made Jack look all the more menacing and Eddie wondered if it was even Jack's choice to put that photograph out on show. Having spent a while getting to know the real Jack, he wondered if he wanted to acknowledge that side of himself at home, at all.  
  
"Still if Jack wants a family so much and they are in danger; as his friends, we owe it to him, to help him get them back safely. Maybe this time we can succeed where we failed with Teri." Obviously it wasn't just Jack that blamed himself for Teri Bauer's death at CTU headquarters. Everyone who had been close to the man on that day, and remained his friend, took a little of the blame themselves.   
  
Kim came into the lounge with a backpack; Eddie just looked round at her stunned.  
  
"What? Kim, what are you doing? Your Dad told me to keep you safe…"  
  
"My Dad doesn't know what he wants; I'm going over there to help him…" Eddie was flustered and wasn't used to having to make responsible decisions quickly. Tony asked him what was going on.  
  
"Kim wants to go to Huntington to see Jack." He expected Tony to go nuts and say it was a dumb idea but instead, Tony made the decision for him.  
  
"Okay, that sounds good, but she shouldn't go alone and it might be wise to let Jack cool off a little. Come over here and I'll sort out all the evidence you need for him, then you could offer to drive her if you want to… it might buy you some time. Jack did ask you to keep her safe; you really ought to go with her." Eddie swallowed hard. It wasn't the responsibility that scared him or driving cross country for the three days it would take to travel the thousands of miles to Huntington; but the prospect of seeing Jack again, and this time as his daughter's boyfriend. He agreed of course. Seeing Jack was enough of an incentive, even if he did end up getting punched by him. 


	41. Chapter FortyOne

"Yeah, I saw him, lady; blond hair and about so high." The twelve year old and his little sister had been playing near the pond next to Alfie. "He went with the policeman, a few minutes ago."  
  
"Which way did they go?" Jack asked promptly. "Did the officer take him away like he was in trouble or something?" Laura looked at her fiancé with fear in her eyes. It felt unnerving that he was so calm, but she guessed it was his job that made him that way. The kid shrugged, and glanced at his little sister kicking stones into the water.  
  
"He didn't want to go with him, I don't think. The officer told Sal, to stop kicking stones…" the boy glared angrily at his younger sibling. "Maybe he was doing that or something. They went over that way to Grover Street." Jack looked to Laura and tried to smile.  
  
"I'll get him back Laura, wait here." She didn't want to be alone but he didn't want her to see what he was about to do, if Marc was still around.  
  
"No, Jack I'm not staying alone. He's my son… Jack, I… oh God, its Marc isn't it? Jack, he's taken my little boy." She started to cry again and Jack pulled her into his arms and stroked her hair as she sobbed on his shoulder. He told her they should go look on the street, if Alfie didn't want to go with Marc, people may have noticed him struggling. She tried to take comfort in his words but her eyes were full of fear.  
  
At the exit of the park there was a police officer and Jack ran up to him quickly, unsure whether he could restrain himself if he found it was Marc. Laura was at his side and hastily told Jack that wasn't him.  
  
"Officer, our son has been kidnapped, a couple of kids saw him taken by a police officer, you haven't seen anything have you?" The officer looked at Jack curiously, and then sort of smirked.  
  
"Your boy been up to something he shouldn't have?" he almost laughed. Jack went crazy. He hadn't been aware of his anger but the anxiety had transformed into aggression within the blink of an eye. He shoved the officer back against the iron railings with his right arm pressed over the guy's throat and a hand against the rail beside his head.  
  
"Now you just wait one second; you don't want to mess with me. My son hasn't done anything wrong, he's a good kid and I resent your remark."  
  
"Jack! What the hell are you doing? Leave him alone! Jack!" The officer looked scared and so did Laura; this was way past masterful. He gingerly lowered his arm and the officer struggled for breath. Jack looked down at the floor and closed his eyes a little panicked. He felt like he was losing it and wondered if he was able to keep it together enough to do this stuff again. Thankfully for him, Laura took charge.  
  
"Officer I'm sorry, we are just really scared. I had some trouble with an officer in Charleston; we were dating and I had to move away from him… I'm scared that he's taken my son." The officer kept a wary eye on Jack, but took Laura seriously and called it in to the department.  
  
"You need to get it together Jack, I ought to have you taken in for that trick you pulled…" he paused, waiting for an apology. Jack sheepishly obliged. "Well I'll let you off because, believe it or not, I'm not completely heartless…" Jack was looking off down the street and the officer was getting frustrated at not being paid attention to. Then to add salt to the wound, Jack ran off without a word.  
  
He was breathless as he reached the end of the road and looked all around for what he thought had been Alfie. Hearing a noise in the warehouse behind him he struggled through a fence and then pulled himself in through a rusted door. It was dark inside and the air was rank with the smell of rotten meat. It was the back of the abattoir and the homeless seemed to see it as a free restaurant; though even heated up, this stuff would make even the strongest stomach fail.  
  
He followed sounds off to his left and found a man dealing to one of the kids he'd seen in the park. It wasn't Alfie at all, but a kid obviously several years older and taller by far. Jack grabbed the guy and shouted angrily at the kid emptying the little bag of white powder onto the floor.   
  
"This shit will kill you!" He yelled at the youngster, who was starting to sob. "But not as fast as I will if I ever see you doing this again… you hear me?" the kid nodded and on Jack's instruction he ran off home. Jack wasn't as forgiving to the dealer.  
  
Laura and the officer followed where Jack had gone and he heard her voice calling anxiously from outside. Wiping the blood from his hands, he scowled down at the bleached blond dealer who cowered below him. He was a lot younger than Jack had thought; didn't have the arrogance now that he'd previously displayed and it showed him to be little more than a teenager himself.   
  
Suddenly Jack was aware of what he had done. All his life he'd been taught to act rationally and with proper restraint and here he was beating up on someone little more than a child. What had happened to him? He thought he was in control, but looking back in his mind he knew his emotional reactions always caused him to act crazy.   
  
'Remember the Drazens, Jack? Remember Rick? What would you have done to him if Kim and Teri hadn't been there to stop you?' He looked down at the boy, who by now was trying to edge away, hugging his probably broken ribs and occasionally wiping blood from his face.  
  
'If your girlfriend hadn't have distracted you, what would you have done to him, Jack?' He shook his head to rid himself of the thoughts. He had to say something… something that would justify what he had just made this kid subject to.  
  
"You hurting?" he asked in a low gravely voice. The boy nodded and squirmed back against the wall as if he were afraid that Jack would start kicking him again. "Well maybe you'll remember what pain you cause to people when you deal that stuff now. You think it makes the pain go away? You think life is so bad? You go and see how many families that stuff destroys and how many lives it takes away… then you tell me you are in pain."  
  
For all his judicial words, Jack knew what he had done was wrong. Even for the right reasons; he'd acted like a vigilante. He was meant to be a government agent… he was meant to protect people.  
  
'Don't even try to rationalize this Jack; you used the kid as a punching bag.'  
  
The boy was apologising profusely, begging Jack to leave him alone and saying over and over that he was sorry and stupid and he'd never do anything like it again.  
  
Jack walked away towards the door and the sound of his girlfriend's voice. All the while the voice in his head told him how stupid he was and how he was an idiot if he thought he was fixed now.   
  
'Bauer, you think getting all mushy over this girl makes you a better man? Wallace was right, natural born killer, that's what you are. How long before you get Alfie killed too? How much longer will it be before you run away from Laura, leaving her with nothing? The way you did to Kim.'   
  
As he made his way outside he was all ready to run, then he heard a voice behind him. The officer had found the dealer and was now on his way towards Jack; dragging the kid along with him.  
  
"Well, well Joey, looks like you met the wrong guy this morning." The kid spluttered blood over the officer's shirt and scowled. "Should thank you Jack; we've been after this little slime bag for months. You Feds certainly know how to work a guy over"… he said poking his elbow in Joey's ribcage, causing the boy to wince at the pain it revived. Jack muttered something about not liking drugs and that he was sorry if he was interfering on the officer's patch but he couldn't hear the responses, from him or Joey, for the sound of the voice in his head.  
  
'Are you going to tell Laura the truth now, Jack? Tell her what her loving fiancé just did to this kid… what he does to people who catch him in a bad mood? Are you going to tell her why her son has been taken away? Jack? Are you? Where is all your honesty now Jack? What does her love really mean to you?' 


	42. Chapter FortyTwo

Laura couldn't deny the peace she felt in his arms. Jack had a way of making everything feel better; of reassuring her when times seemed hard, and making her feel safe and protected. Feeling his strong arms wrapped tightly around her and burying her head into the curve of his neck, allowed her to shut the world out. She knew in her heart that she wouldn't love anyone else the way she loved him and that nobody could give her the security that he offered. It all seemed so good between them; had it not been for the circumstances.  
  
Only Jack wasn't feeling the same way. He loved her… more than was easily comprehensible. He knew, in every inch of his being that she was everything to him and no thought could break that. Not even the guilty feelings that now plagued him could deny the fact that he adored her. But how could she continue to feel that way for him after what he had done?  
  
The police arrived and Laura began describing events to the detective. Jack sat beside her silently and held her hand, while she told the officers all about Marc Wagner and described her son; providing the detective with a photo in order to help with the search.  
  
Jack had been in this situation himself; both sides, and more than once too. He'd lost Kim at a camp ground when she was four years old. As it turned out she'd just wandered off to find the rock pool they had been playing in the previous afternoon, but it was the last place Jack thought of. Teri was a complete wreck; she hadn't held it together even half as well as his girlfriend was doing now. It had been after one of his trips abroad, when he started working with special operations, fresh out of the army. Teri expected much more of him in the situation but his fear at losing his precious little daughter was too much to think in any kind of ordered fashion. It was hard to think with your heart and your head at the same time. This was the same, only when Kim had wandered off and got lost for six hours that bright summer day, there was one distinct difference… then, it wasn't his fault.  
  
He was unaware that he had started rocking slightly on the edge of the bench, his nerves were frayed and he really couldn't begin to find a way to tell her. He was hopeless at this stuff; he could never find tactful ways of saying things. Either he came straight out with something and to hell with the consequences; or ambled about clumsily trying to say how he was sorry and he would make up for it and that he loved her and he'd never meant for it to happen.  
  
The police officers left them alone and told her that she should go home as they would contact her with any news; Jack found his conscience was too loud to ignore much longer.   
  
"They'll find him won't they Jack? They'll find Alfie and bring him back to us and we'll…" She was trying so hard to be brave… to reassure herself, where he should be doing that.  
  
His mind was screaming at him, telling him he was wrong to keep this from her. She wanted honesty from him. She didn't ask much, she didn't expect him to change or be anything he wasn't and she accepted all that he was; however hard it seemed to adopt some of his ways. All she required in return was his honesty and his love.   
  
Jack felt as though his whole being was crushed in a vice. All the life and spirit he'd found in her sanctuary, had been lost in one fell swoop of fate's hand. He couldn't ignore the fact that he felt totally responsible, and as much as it would hurt to tell her the truth; he knew it was a risk he had to take.  
  
"It's my fault!" he said simply. She looked at him with a smile at first. How could it be his fault? This was another of his silly worries. It wasn't the best time for him to be having them but she knew that their reassurance worked both ways.  
  
"Oh Jack, honey, of course it isn't your fault. How could it be?" She really couldn't see a way that her boyfriend could be anything but her knight in shining armour. A little rough around the edges maybe but still he was her protector, her saviour.  
  
Only Jack felt as though this particular angel had long since fallen. He hated himself all over again and realised he had a mouth like he'd swallowed a desert; he was so desperate for a drink. He found himself eyeing bottles of scotch in the store window as they started back from the park and wondered if he could be the man Laura wanted and needed him to be at all. Joey had been his first slip, and now all this lying and deceit too. How could he give her what she deserved when he felt less than half a man himself?  
  
"Laura, listen to me…" he said, his voice faltering. She stood gazing into his eyes, where he had held her still in the street, in order to say his peace. Was he angry or just sad?  
  
"Jack you didn't tell Marc to come here and take my son, how can it be your fault?" A slight uneasiness crept into her voice this time and it made him all the more anxious.  
  
'Bauer, you are going to break her heart and leave her with nothing… she has no one and you have come here and stirred everything up, like a hornets nest; just to destroy it like you always do.'  
  
"Laura, Marc found out where you were because Kim spoke to him. She only found him because she was so desperate for me to go home and she didn't know what she was doing when she told him where you lived… she just… I should have gone home… If she hadn't have been searching for me… I should never have done all this… I've destroyed your family…"   
  
Laura's tears had come upon her quickly and she was crying uncontrollably. Her whole body shook with sobs that consumed her, but still she didn't blame Jack. It was a fear of losing him as well, which crept over her now. With him there, finding Alfie seemed like just a matter of time. After all he was a federal agent, he'd saved the President's life, saved the whole of LA from a nuclear attack; surely he could find a missing child.  
  
Laura would have forgiven him anything if he only asked. But all Jack could do was blame himself and wallow in his own guilt. Any other time Laura would have been able to hold him together, but now it was too much to expect. All she was hearing were reasons that her dreams were about to be shattered.  
  
"Laura you'd have been better off if we had never met. I'm bad news. I always have been… I give people nothing but trouble… I didn't want to do this to you… I just can't help screwing up… I'm sorry."  
  
She waited for him to ask. 'How can you ever forgive me?' but those words seemed the furthest from his mind. When her mother arrived and took her in her arms, Laura didn't wait any longer.  
  
"Laura, I never meant to hurt you." Jack stammered as she began to step away reluctantly. She was in shock and he should have known the signs; only his own inexorable fears swamped his mind and his judgement. All he saw was her pain, all he heard was her silence, and all he could feel was rejected… and rightly so.  
  
This time he wasn't doing the walking away and he wasn't the one leaving the pain behind. He was the pain; this was the way he had left his own child. Standing in a cold and lonely street, watching the person he loved walk away, believing that his pleas were worthless and he had just lost the one thing in life that made it worth living.  
  
At that moment Jack wanted nothing more than for his heart to give out, there in that cold and lonely street. He'd ruined everything. It was his fault his wife was dead, his fault his daughter was a mess without any one to take care of her… anyone but Eddie Jerome. For a moment Jack felt some kind of protective instinct kick in towards his daughter, but it faded as his conscience hammered at him again; telling him how he was a failure as a father. He'd been father to Alfie for such a short time, and he'd screwed that up too. Laura could never forgive him for losing her son. How can you fix something like that?  
  
Somewhere inside Jack hoped that he would be able to find the courage to search, to fight for Alfie, to fight for Laura… but all he could find was self pity and misery. He went into the corner store and gave in to his parched throat. Then he bent his head to light a cigarette; the first in almost a week and walked back to his dingy apartment with his head bent to the floor and the weight of the world on his shoulders.  
  
He'd come full circle and as a tear rolled down his chilled flesh and over the curve of his thin lips; he wondered if he'd ever find a way out of this tail-spin again. 


	43. Chapter FortyThree

Jack pressed the palms of his hands to his eyes tightly, as though he was trying to squeeze out all the guilty feelings and the pictures of the future that he'd begun to imagine; which now seemed completely extraneous.  
  
'You never deserved her Bauer. You knew that from the start… it was only ever a matter of time.' He tortured himself for hours as he sat in the ever growing darkness of his cold and empty apartment. All his things were in a holdall in Laura's apartment across the hall, he had nothing but a bottle of scotch, two packs of cigarettes and the clothes on his back.   
  
He'd lost count of the minutes that had passed since he started to cry. There was a time that he'd have fought with all he had to stop the tears from falling. When he lived with his father, after Alice left, he'd do anything to hide his tears from Jack senior. He had a place in the hall closet where the boards were loose and he could get into the crawl space beneath the house. It was dark and cold and smelt of dust and dirt; not unlike where he found himself now in fact; but for all its downsides it was his refuge from his father's demands. There he could weep all he wanted, there he could miss his Mom, there he could feel sorry for himself and be as much of a 'sissy boy' as he liked.  
  
As he got older he had grown out of his sanctuary, quite literally; since he was too big when he turned twelve to get down the little hatch. He grew strong, or so he told himself, and the tears dried up. He went away to military school at sixteen, and he and his father saw little of one another until he was married and Kim was born, five years later.   
  
Teri knew that things were awkward between the two Jacks, but he never let on what he felt inside. Jack never really knew why his mother left; he didn't understand what being emotionally rejected was like until he'd been living alone with his father for a few years. Then he hated Alice for leaving him there. The Mommy that he loved and missed so much had left him in that situation and never come back to him once. It was around the age of fourteen that he forgot how to show affection. Why Teri had wanted to marry him, he had no idea. Maybe she just liked the uniform?  
  
Nobody had ever loved him the way Laura did… so selflessly, so completely. No one had wanted him just the way he was before. People always expected him to be something he wasn't or to change to suit them. Laura loved him the way he was and loved all of him; even though she knew his darker side she never turned him away. What did he do to thank her for such love? Lost her, her only son.  
  
'You broke her heart Jack. You made her leave. They were happy until you came along… the old photos of them together… Jack wasn't always heartless. If Alice had never given birth to you, they would still be happy. It's your fault your mother didn't love you… it's your fault Teri is dead and Kim is alone… it's your fault Laura hates you… You don't deserve love Jack, you don't deserve peace and happiness… you don't deserve life!'  
  
Shaking uncontrollably, he poured himself another drink and spilt most of the rest of the bottle down his pants. The tears ran down his face and he hunched over into a foetal position still clutching the last few mouthfuls of liquor.   
  
"I wish I was dead!" he sobbed into his slippery hands. "I wish I'd never been born at all."   
  
He downed the glass of malt liquor and it slipped down his throat and burnt his mouth for a second as though it were the first real drink he stole from his father's drinks cabinet on his fifteenth birthday. He'd bit his lip and could taste the blood as it formed a droplet on his lower lip. For a moment he wondered if it was possible to bleed to death from a split lip and then went to search for a quicker way out.  
  
While standing in the bathroom looking through old boxes of aspirin for more than one covered in dust; he heard voices out in the hall and went to the front door to listen. His conscience was telling him he had no right and that he wasn't wanted, but for the moment he tried to ignore the voice in his head and just listen to the muffled noises beyond his door.  
  
"Mrs Stewart we'd like to speak to your daughter, if that's okay?" said the detective who had been speaking to Laura in the park.   
  
"I'm afraid she is asleep, I gave her some Valium, she…"  
  
"Its okay Mom, I can't get to sleep… even with the pills." She sounded so distraught. Jack felt his chest constrict at the thought of her being so alone.   
  
'You did that to her Bauer!' He snarled at the sounds in his head and pressed his cheek against the wooden panel that separated him from the woman he loved.  
  
"Ms Fletcher, we have put out a search for your son and we are looking into the whereabouts of Sheriff Wagner… but at the moment I'm afraid we have no more news." Jack felt his heart sink, how could they be doing this to her? Why weren't they out looking for Alfie? He wanted to go and tell them what he thought of their half-assed searching, but his conscience was quick to remind him, he had no right.   
  
"We understand your boyfriend was with you at the time your son was taken?" Jack heard Janice muttering her disgust, even from that distance, and he dreaded hearing Laura's response; so much that he almost walked away from the door altogether.   
  
"Yes, but I don't think he saw anything either…" Laura began in an even, unaffected tone.  
  
"No but it's his fault little Alfie was taken, isn't it!" Janice snapped. "If he hadn't been meddling in business that had nothing to do with him, then…" Jack ran his fingers through his hair roughly and gave a deep sigh as he tried to hold back more tears.  
  
"Mom, please, it isn't helping get Alfie back, is it?" Janice muttered words that Jack couldn't make out; but the guilt was loud enough to make him feel just as bad as hearing them would have done.  
  
"Do you think we could talk to him ourselves Ms Fletcher? One of our officers told us he is a federal agent…" Again Jack could hear Janice complain about him and basically tell Laura that it was stupid of her to get involved with another cop after Richard.  
  
This angered Jack, as he knew how Laura feared that particular part of their relationship going wrong, more than anything else. He was about to go out and try to defend Laura, when she replied to the officer and changed his mind.  
  
"I'm sure he can help you with the investigation… I believe it was through him that Marc found us…" the officer who Jack had almost punched that morning joined the detective and asked where he could find Laura's boyfriend.  
  
"What's his name?" the detective asked with an air of caution in his voice. It was Laura's next comment that chilled Jack's blood, even with the amount of alcohol that was swimming around in it.  
  
"Bauer." She said without any semblance of sentiment. "Jack Bauer. You've probably heard of him… he works in Los Angeles and had a lot to do with the bombing a few months back." The officer, whose name the detective announced as Cartwright, seemed to be pretty impressed and made some flattering comment about his work. None of it mattered to Jack anymore… all he wanted was to have Laura in his arms again… and to be forgiven.  
  
"Well I guess when you give everything to your work; you are bound to be good at it." Laura responded. "He lives across the hall, there. I don't know if he's home… we aren't… we had a disagreement… I…" she paused and Jack wasn't sure whether the tone in her voice was anger, disappointment or misery.  
  
"Well if that's all, officers… I think my daughter needs to get some rest. Please contact us if there is any news." Janice said forthrightly. Cartwright was already knocking on Jack's door and he quickly tried to compose himself before opening it and by some chance of fate he met Laura's eyes across the hall almost immediately.  
  
She looked at him impassively. She was all cried out and looked so fragile and dispirited. He longed to be able to hold her. She waited for some kind of response but his face was as unreadable as he found hers to be. Laura felt as though any connection they had experienced had disappeared with her son, and now as she stared at the man she had earlier that day proposed to, she found him to be like a stranger to her.  
  
When Janice ushered her back into the apartment with an angry glare at her former lover; Laura once again followed her mother's wishes. Jack had been like a dream to her, a dream that she had now obviously woken from.  
  
"Laura, wait!" Jack called in a frightened voice. She turned and once again met his eyes… waiting… just waiting for him to ask. "I'm so sorry." He spluttered out, trying to walk past the police officers and towards his love. Janice blocked his way and he knew that she'd be a formidable foe bearing in mind, the mood that she was in.  
  
"I think you ought to go, Mr Bauer." Janice said with a glare. Laura wanted him to ask for forgiveness so much… he didn't even have to ask… if he could just tell her he wanted them to be together still; that he'd do anything for her… just reassure her like he always did before.  
  
"Laura, I never meant for this to happen. I love Alfie as though he were my own son…" Jack's voice was pleading and desperate. The same voice he'd heard himself use when Alice left them, when he was just a child himself.  
  
"But he isn't your son, Jack." Janice snapped. "Or maybe you'd understand what my daughter is going through…" Laura walked away unable to listen to anymore, and slammed her bedroom door behind her.  
  
"I have a daughter of my own, Janice. I'm not completely ignorant of what it is like to lose someone you love." He heard the anger in his tone but he never meant to be so defensive. All he wanted was for things to go back to how they were that morning, before that bastard took Alfie away and ruined all their lives.  
  
"Yes and a fine job you have done of raising her, if she can just ruin someone's life with one phone call. Do you know how long Laura had to run and hide from him? Do you know what we all had to go through, just to get away from that evil man? Do you have any idea, what my daughter has had to deal with all alone… all these years?" Janice was angry, but she was also very upset, she loved her grandson very dearly and it wasn't just her daughter that hurt at his kidnapping.  
  
"I know it's my fault, Janice. You don't have to keep telling me. But I didn't do any of it on purpose. I would never intentionally hurt Laura or Alfie. I love your daughter very much. I'd do anything for her." Jack said with an honesty he'd hardly ever shown in his life.  
  
"Well Jack, I think the best thing you can do right now is to go away and leave us all alone before you do anymore damage. Alfie is everything to Laura; I don't think she could live without him. I hope you understand the pain you've caused. I don't know how you can live with yourself… I honestly don't!" Janice found only silence as her response and she didn't wait long before she closed the door on Jack and went back to her daughter.  
  
Without considering how it would look in front of the officers for a second, Jack shouted at the closing door.   
  
"Laura, I love you. Even if you can't feel the same because of what has happened… I love you and I don't ever want to stop. You're my family Laura; you and Alfie." He paused, more to get his breath than out of any embarrassment. "I'll get him back, I'll find him Laura and I'll make Marc pay for what he has done to you! I swear to God, Laura I'll make it up to you… I'll make it right. I promise." 


	44. Chapter FortyFour

Laura lay on her bed and stared at the cracks in the ceiling. Inside she felt completely empty, nothing made sense anymore. She felt like even thought was too much… and she had been in a daze ever since she returning home without her son and the man she loved. Perhaps it was the valium that took her, or maybe she was just beginning to lose her mind or something.   
  
She'd never spent more than half a day away from her son, in all his life and as morning approached and the tears ceased once more, she found herself becoming more and more agitated by the break from routine. The whole situation was too immensely horrible to comprehend and Laura focused on the little things.   
  
Get up. Take a shower. Get dressed. Eat breakfast… she couldn't bear to eat anything her mother had cooked and simply shuffled it around the plate until it went too cold and disgusting to eat. The shower was pretty unsuccessful too. She stood under the warm water until it turned cold and never remembered to reach the soap or shampoo. She sat in her robe at the little kitchen table; where she and Jack had had their first meal together, where she'd fed her son in his high chair and taught him to use a knife and fork. Where they had blown out Jack's birthday candles and five years of Alfie's too. She was in a daze of memories and hopes and reality was just too painful to adopt.  
  
"I'm sorry about last night my love." Janice said in little more than a whisper. "I didn't mean to get quite so annoyed with him." Laura looked up; for a second there was a spark of life in her eyes again. Janice mistook the momentary change in her daughter for anger; since that was the only emotion she assumed that could be felt for Jack now. "I hope the police arrest him…" Janice began. "He deserves to be locked up for what he has done to you. I don't know how he can talk that way after what…"  
  
"What did he say?" Laura asked in an even tone.   
  
"Oh, he said all this nonsense about you and Alfie being his family and that he was going to get Alfie back for you, and make Marc pay. He's all talk, that man. I bet he is just some useless police officer, I bet…"  
  
"Mother, will you just leave him alone. Jack is a good man, he isn't just a cop; you heard what Officer Cartwright said about him last night. If it hadn't been for this you'd have been happy for me to marry him." Laura snapped.  
  
"Marry him?" Janice said incredulously. "You wanted to marry him? Heck, Laura. He… haven't you learnt anything from being with Richard?" Laura was amazed at how unfeeling her mother was being. How could she talk that way? How could she be so cruel?  
  
"All this talk about how he loves you and you are his family… why on earth would you want him to be your family? He can't even look after his own daughter properly!" Janice was quick to chastise him, considering only days ago he was the best thing that had ever happened to her daughter.  
  
"Mom, he made a mistake; you wouldn't believe what he has been through… if he is such a terrible father then what am I? I let my son wander off and he was taken by the man who practically tried to kill me and steal him away years ago. I should have known better… Jack didn't know what was happening to his daughter…"  
  
"Yes because he doesn't care…" Janice interrupted. Laura scowled at her like she was the devil incarnate.   
  
"Mother, I love Jack, I would have done anything for him… Alfie loved him… we were going to get married and all of us live together… and have children… and…" Laura burst into tears and her mother could do nothing to console her. She went to the bathroom to wash up and when she came out almost half an hour later, it was in a panic.  
  
"I have to go and see him…" she said almost breathlessly. "He is sick and he… all his stuff is here… his pills…" she broke off and without hesitation or explanation she went over to the door and unlocked it hastily. She fully intended to go and bang on his door until she got the answer she wanted… his arms around her, his lips on hers. She missed him so very much. Before she made it half way, she saw the small white envelope pinned to his door and her heart sank like a cinder block in the river.   
  
"Laura,   
  
What I've done to you is unforgivable. I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am for what has happened. You gave me my life back and I'd have given it all to you gladly. I truly never meant to let you down. I know I can't change how you feel about me… I know you are angry and I deserve your contempt. The only hope I have to make it up to you is in finding Alfie.  
  
I won't rest until I get him back, Laura. I'll make sure Marc can never hurt you again and although I don't begin to presume that this could make you love me again; I'll never ever stop loving you.   
  
Yours always,   
  
Jack. x."  
  
Laura walked back to her apartment and dropped to the floor where she stood. Janice rushed to her daughter, wondering what on earth 'that man' had done to her now. She took the letter from where it lay limply on Laura's lap. She saw nothing more than she'd heard the night before and it really didn't change how she felt.  
  
"Well at least now he can't cause any more trouble… the police won't let some random fool take over the search and I don't see what he can do…" Laura finally snapped. It was too much to have to listen to her mother's constant scolding of the man she loved. How could Jack think that her feelings for him could change just like that? Her heart wasn't as fickle as he imagined, and she guessed it was his usual fears; that he was unforgivable… that what he had done was so awful… that he was a bad person.  
  
"Mother, if anyone can find Alfie, then it's Jack. He isn't just some cop! He's a government agent and if he can save President Palmer's life, then I'm sure he can find our son!" Janice's face fell. Her daughter had just said words; she never believed she'd hear again. In the five years since Richard died, she had never believed that Laura would find anyone suitable for both Laura and her son.   
  
Her daughter was astoundingly picky when it came to a suitable father figure for her little boy. Janice had told her time and time again that she should be considering her own feelings much more and not just choosing a man to be there for her son. Seemingly that man had just appeared on her doorstep and whether Janice liked him or not, her daughter was heartbroken at his leaving.  
  
"Laura, sweetheart, I'm sorry. I guess… I just want what is best for you and I want Alfie back as much as you do… but Jack… Laura, even he knows that it is his fault." Janice had softened her tone and was trying to be a little more understanding. But in her anger it was wasted on Laura.  
  
"Mom, I want you to go home. I want to be on my own." She snapped. "It isn't Jack's fault; it isn't Kim's fault either. It's just a very nasty coincidence. If you can't understand that I love Jack and that all I want is my son and him back with me again… then… then I don't want you here. I'd rather wait on my own…"   
  
Janice knew her daughter well enough to not argue. She was hurt, but it wasn't the first time her daughter had asserted her authority when it came to matters of her son. She nodded and did as she was requested to do.  
  
"Maybe, that's for the best. You should get some sleep… I'm sure the police will find Alfie soon." Janice was trying so hard to help her little girl, but she was beginning to realise that the woman before her, wasn't a little girl anymore; and as such, she wasn't going to be told what to do.  
  
"I'm sorry Mom; I know you just want to help. I just… this is all very scary and I think I just need some time to accept things. Then I can help the police and Jack." She tried to ignore the objectionable expression on her mother's face at the mere mention of his name, and continued. "Marc is known by the local police; he can't hide for long and then Jack will bring Alfie home and it'll all be better again."  
  
Janice kissed her daughter goodbye and made her promise to call as soon as she heard anything at all. She didn't have the faith in Jack or the local officers, that her daughter had; but she knew they both needed something to believe in. She swallowed her words and reluctantly left her daughter alone with what she believed to be a false hope.  
  
Laura read Jack's letter over and over until the words were memorised and the pictures of how she imagined him writing it were daubed onto the inside of her eye lids. Without thinking of any further action, she went to bed and lay on the thick wool bedspread that they'd lain wrapped in only twenty-four hours earlier. Tears rolled down her face as she recognised the scent of Jack's aftershave on her pillow. Silent sobs were muffled by it and she drifted into a comfortless slumber, which passed without dreams or even a hint of subconscious thought.   
  
Nothing existed to Laura in that sleep and it was the most empty she had ever felt in her life. 


	45. Chapter FortyFive

A horn blared loudly from a red corvette standing behind Jack's SUV and he jerked his head from the steering wheel quickly. With a veteran skill, he pushed the car into drive and sped off before the light returned to red and the teen driver behind felt the need to curse at him anymore. He was exhausted, but like days prior; he found it impossible to sleep, or even to relax. The knots in his shoulders were coiling together like a string of intestine, while inside he felt like things were beginning to do just the opposite. He hadn't eaten in two days and he was probably still, technically, under the influence.   
  
Pulling up outside the Riverside Apartment Village; he flicked on the internal light and looked over his maps. He'd used his official contacts at CTU, and although he knew it wasn't really above board for him to use their database when he was still 'on leave'; he had made note of any tiny detail relating to Marc Wagner.  
  
"Jack, this could get us all into a lot of trouble… promise me you won't do anything until you have back-up or you are fully reinstated." Tony had sounded desperate when he requested Jack's word on this.   
  
Of course Jack had promised… and they both knew it wasn't going to be kept, from the moments the words were uttered. But at least Tony had followed protocol. It was on Jack's shoulders now… and damn did they hurt. Turning off the light he drove the car around the left turn and killed the lights. As cars passed by, their headlights would shake Jack from the temptation of slumber. His eyes flicked open and he shirked the glare in the rear view mirror as the light had the effect of almost permanently burning their glow onto his retina.   
  
Apartment twelve was on the east side of the building but its windows looked out upon both the park, to the south, and to Cranhorn Road; where Jack had now been parked for a little over three hours. Reluctantly he climbed out of the car and after arming himself with a standard issue revolver from the glove box, he headed out towards the gorse bushes that circled the weathered apartment block.  
  
White male, in his early thirties. Stocky build and measuring a little over six feet tall. Dark but greying hair, green eyes and scar running just above the left eyebrow. Well, Jack couldn't quite tell if the man he was watching had all these physical traits but he fitted the description well enough for him to be interrogated with or without a warrant.   
  
Slipping the revolver into the waistband on his black pants, a little right of centre; Jack swung himself over the small wood and wire perimeter fence, with just the support of his right arm. Sprightly he landed on the other side without a sound and passed across the attractively bordered lawn to the fire escape. Perhaps a closer inspection would be needed if he were to at least try and keep his promise to Tony for a while.   
  
He took the steps two at a time and quickly found himself at one of the large sash windows that opened into Marc Wagner's lounge. Leaning his shoulder against the cold brick wall he glanced over it into the warmly lit room. Jack's eyes narrowed as he saw photos of the man dressed in official uniform, wearing a broad; and Jack thought, conceited smile. There was no doubting that this was Marc's apartment. All he needed now was some evidence that Alfie was there and no court in the land would question his motives and intentions when busting down this bastard's door.  
  
"I'll bring him home, Laura." He muttered to himself in the stillness of the night. "I'll make it right again sweetheart; for all of us."  
  
However, for all his well meaning words, Jack's heart sank when he saw a young man come out from the bathroom dressed in a blue towelling robe and scrubbing at his reddish hair with an old off-white towel. This wasn't Marc. It was Marc's apartment and the photos were of him but this man was far too young to be the slime bag he was searching for. Without thinking anymore about the what ifs; God knew he had enough of those swimming around in his brain right now anyway; he scurried back down the fire escape and tinkered with the intercom to gain access to the building undetected.  
  
He took the three flights of stairs cautiously this time and hung back in the first floor's darkened stairwell until the young guy on the floor above convinced his sweet coquettish girlfriend to let him stay for coffee. Once this little drama had played out above him, Jack continued his trudge up the stairs. Weariness crept up on him far too quickly since his attack and he found himself out of breath as he finally reached the third floor apartment; belonging to Marc Wagner. Leaning his chest across the banister he took a few long, deep breaths before turning and knocking on the door of apartment twelve.  
  
"Yes?" the young man said with an irritable tone to his voice. It was late and he knew that the general public weren't supposed to be in the building. He didn't recognise this man and, as the brother of a particularly temperamental police officer, he had learnt to be wary of anything out of the ordinary like this.  
  
"Hi, I'm looking for Marc… this is his place isn't it?" Jack said, doing his best to sound amiable. The boy remained cautious and Jack saw the need for a little counterfeit reassurance. "I'm an agent for the LA counter terrorist unit; Marc… he's been helping us with an investigation."  
  
At this, the young man immediately softened. His brother had been so proud of himself for this particular little job. He'd bragged about finding their missing agent for the last few days.  
  
"Oh yes, Bauer wasn't it?" Jack felt vulnerable with this sudden interest and decided to hold back with the personal details in case this guy knew more than he was letting on. "The guy you were looking for?" He rubbed his auburn hair with recently manicured nails and looked openly at Jack. "Did you manage to track him down?"  
  
"Err, we are still working on that one." Jack replied warily. "I was wondering if I could talk to Marc a little more… he was very able in tracking down the woman Bauer was seen with."  
  
Just the mention of Laura made a chill rise up through Jack's spine and he had to draw upon his army training to suppress his instinctive reactions. It felt so cold without her around. Jack allowed himself to wonder for a moment at the logic involved in the coupling of those two words… cold and lonely. That was how he felt. His heart beat and his mind functioned but his blood ran cold and he felt dead inside… completely alone.  
  
"Marc has gone away for the week. He and his wife, Alison, have been having some problems lately. He needed some time alone… I guess he went to the cabin." Jack couldn't hide his fervour at this news. "I don't think he would want to be disturbed."  
  
As if that was going to stop Jack. His eyes must have given away his irritation, since the young guy backed off a little and began to push the door closed between them. It was little more than a quarter turn closed, when Jack's left hand shot up to stop it firmly and his foot was wedged into the remaining space in order to keep this conversation going.  
  
"I really do need to speak to him… it's very important."  
  
"Look mister, Marc was pretty screwed up by that call. He is a good officer and he was proud to help you boys, but it brought up a lot of bad memories for him…"  
  
"Oh yes!" Jack said with an unnerving tone to his voice. Agent Bauer was no longer going to be fobbed off by this young man. He was trying to be patient, trying to keep his temper… to hold off on his urge to draw out the information he required another way.   
  
"Yeah; that bitch, your agent is hanging around with wrecked my brother's life." The red head replied as he tried desperately to push the door closed around Jack's foot.   
  
The reaction in Bauer was almost indiscernible. His right eyebrow rose slightly and his breathing increased in speed and depth but these factors were of little note to the nervous interviewee.   
  
"Laura…" Jack began in a calm and reasoned tone which barely hinted at the venom which was on the verge of eruption.   
  
"Yeah that's her. Nasty little whore tried to get Marc arrested. Now she is knocking around with some other poor sap…" Suddenly and seemingly without warning, Jack thrust his right hand against the door and pushed with all his strength. The kid fell backwards into the hallway and cowered from the agent who now stood above him and kicked the door closed with a battered black boot.  
  
"Well that sap would like to have a few words with your brother about the stories he's been telling about Laura and about what he's been doing recently." There was no denying the fire in Bauer's eyes by this point. His blood went from stone cold to boiling in a fraction of a second and he wasn't going to be easily appeased.  
  
"You?" the kid began, stammering like an idiot. Where was his confidence now? Jack stooped down supporting his weight on his tip toes as he leant over the boy.  
  
"What's your name?" he asked, fixing the kid with an impassive glare.  
  
"Matt… Matthew… I didn't know you were…"  
  
"Well Matthew, would you have spoken about my fiancée any differently if you had known who I was?" he asked matter-of -factly. Matthew reluctantly shook his head; knowing somehow that trying to lie to this man wasn't going to do him any favours.  
  
"Now if you want me to forget the way you just spoke about the woman I love; I suggest you tell me exactly where I can find your brother." Matthew obviously wasn't following in his brother's footsteps and joining the force. He had no intention of holding back information with this guy standing above him with a revolver tucked in the front of his pants.  
  
"It's about forty miles from here; the cabin is just north of Beech Fork State Park. It's the old ranger's cottage up off a small dirt track by the lake." Matthew spluttered. Eagerly trying to get rid of Jack; who had rudely interrupted his peaceful evening of house sitting.  
  
"That's very good Matthew. Now is he alone up there?" Matthew nodded.  
  
"I expect so… he has been pretty miserable lately since he and Alison came to blows." Jack's ears pricked up at this information.   
  
"He hit her?"   
  
"Yes… well they fought… he was angry that she… well a lot happened between them and now all this stuff turning up again…" Matthew stopped suddenly realising he was only digging himself a bigger hole.  
  
"Thanks Matthew. You've been very helpful." Jack said standing up straight and absently stretching his back a little. Matthew began to get up and as he did, he saw Jack pull the gun from beside the silver belt buckle level with his eyes. He almost stumbled backwards in fear but Jack tugged at his arm and dragged him to his feet.  
  
"Sorry I have to do this Matthew but I don't want your brother to know I'm on my way… I know you've been useful to me and I haven't even had to use this… but…well these things have to go a certain way." Jack had him on his feet now but knew his legs wouldn't hold him if he tried to let him support himself. He was as white as the towel round his shoulders.  
  
"I won't call him… I swear… I…" Jack laughed.  
  
"Oh Matthew, if your brother told you about his clever little chat with CTU, I'm sure he's told you the way that this kinda thing goes down. I can't have you talking can I?"  
  
Matthew had hardly been aware of his surroundings until Jack dropped him on his ass against the enamel bathtub; still slick with the grime he had scoured from his body. He looked up as Jack tore a hand towel in half and twisted it into a thick white coil. A chill had gripped young Matthew and the warmth running down his thigh almost startled him.   
  
"Oh God, please don't kill me!" he whimpered to the back of his assailant. Jack caught the scent of urine in the air and let out a little chuckle.  
  
"Matthew, Matthew… I'm not the kind of man your brother really is, you know? I'm not going to kill you." Matthew breathed a sigh of relief for a moment and then wondered what other tricks this experienced federal agent might have to silence him… perhaps death would be easier.  
  
Jack left the room, knowing full well that Matthew wasn't going to move an inch in his absence. If Jack had learnt a thing about control in his years in the service; it was that fear was the surest way to ensure full obedience. Moments later he was not disappointed to find his assumptions correct. Matthew had even cowered further up to the porcelain toilet bowl in his terror; and in that way done half of Jack's next job for him. Taking the curtain wire he'd just pulled from the kitchen blinds; Jack wrapped it around Matthew's hands and then used a second piece to tie his hands to the back of the cistern.  
  
"Now Matthew, one more thing… did your brother ever mention a kid called Alfie?" Jack leant down a little to listen carefully to the words that escaped between sobs.  
  
"Laura's kid?" Jack nodded. "He said that the boy deserved better than a mother like that and it…" He paused and Jack shoved him a little to make him continue. "He said that it wasn't fair him not being able to have kids when she got such a cute little kid and treated him so bad."  
  
It was clear that Matthew had been afraid to be so honest and Jack almost admired the boy's bravery in such a situation. He wrapped the twisted towel into Matthews's mouth and tied it off tightly behind his neck.  
  
"Sorry about this Matthew; when I have my son back I'll give the local department a call to let you go." He turned to leave and then added. "Laura would never harm Alfie. Your brother isn't what you think he is. I suggest you get the hell out of here quick if he ever gets back."  
  
As Jack closed the apartment door and headed back to his SUV, he knew full well that Matthew was never going to have the chance to ask his brother what he was really like. The only way Marc Wagner was going home, was in a box. 


	46. Chapter FortySix

The expanse of wasteland drew out before Kim Bauer and her escort and it was as though all life had been obliterated from the earth. They had been driving all day and neither of them had even mentioned where or when it might be appropriate to stop for food or to call it a night. It seemed unlikely that there would be anywhere to stop at all going by what the young blonde could see ahead. The trip didn't seem to be planned at all, and for that she blamed herself.   
  
Kim knew that Tony arranged for Eddie to deal with any expenses; which was good since the credit cards her father had left had been stopped while he was under investigation. Eddie had been as eager to leave as she had, and Kim was beginning to wonder at all the effort he was going to, to find her father. Could it be that he had as big a crush on her, as she hoped?  
  
He'd asked her out, but for a little while Kim had told herself it was probably more out of pity than any genuine feeling. Now he was going further than both his role as her 'boyfriend' and a CTU technical assistant could possibly dictate. Was it just that Jack had specifically asked him to look out for her, that meant they were taking on a three day trek across country; or did Eddie really want to be with her that much?  
  
"Ed, do you mind having to come out here with me like this?" Kim asked after a long thoughtful silence, in which she had found many better ways to ask this particular question, than the witless and insensitive form her words had just taken.  
  
"Of course I don't mind, Kim. Your father asked me to take care of you… I'm not about to leave you alone, or let you drive out here like this on your own." He smiled and patted her denim covered leg, affectionately.  
  
"You aren't a field operative though, are you Eddie? I mean you aren't just doing this because it's your job." She felt a little guilty questioning his motives after all he had done for her, but she was her father's daughter and as such was far too inquisitive for her own good. Eddie looked at her and to her shame she found that he did look a little hurt before he pieced together what her motives might be for asking.  
  
"No I'm not a field operative but Tony wanted me to follow your father's instructions and I know better than to disobey Jack Bauer!" He smirked at Kim and she giggled shyly and looked away. She thought he'd made his point, but in fact he had only just got started. "I'm not just here because of that though Kim." He admitted nervously running his fingers over the dimpled leather of the Buick's steering wheel.  
  
"You wanted a holiday?" Kim joked back, with a genuinely heartfelt smile. Eddie knew he had to own up to his real feelings; he wasn't being fair by playing her along like this.  
  
"I really liked working with your Dad, Kim I think he is a really generous guy. I was really sad for both of you when your mother died… I wanted to be there to help you out… you see I…" He was building to the real reason behind all this, when Kim suddenly spotted a roadside diner and gas station coming into view on route 40 just west of Kingman. They had been driving since a little after one and it was beginning to turn gloomy.   
  
"We should stop for something to eat Ed, even if we drive on further before calling it a day… I'm starving." Kim spoke like she hadn't eaten for days, when as usual she'd been nibbling at most of the snacks they had loaded into the car as provisions, since they left LA. Eddie nodded and slowed as they approached the junction without saying a word.  
  
As the day wore on Eddie and Kim had mixed feelings about seeing Jack Bauer again. It was exciting and nerve wracking at the same time. Jack never liked surprises and it was even less likely that he would, given that he'd had several heart attacks in the last few months. Kim wondered if she really was doing the right thing driving out to see him like this. They drove in silence that evening and Kim collapsed onto one of the shabby hotel room's twin beds and fell asleep as soon as her head was on the overstuffed pillow at almost three in the morning.  
  
It wasn't until they stopped for lunch in Amarillo that Kim gleaned any further information from Eddie about his real purpose. He was being his usual jovial self until Kim mentioned her father being in the army.  
  
"That was the first time I remember missing him. I was only about three but I missed silly things, you know… The way he threw me up in the air, or spun me round in the garden like I was flying. Mom would always be cold with him when he first got home. It wasn't until I grew up and he went on Special Operations missions that I realised quite how jealous of his job she was." Kim sighed and looked wistfully at the family photo in her purse.  
  
"Were you jealous of the amount of time he gave to his work?" Eddie asked, casting a glance at his companion and smiling as he caught himself wondering at how beautiful she looked in the afternoon sun.  
  
Kim squinted and tried to pull the drapes of their booth so she could actually see Eddie without being paranoid about the dumb look on her face.  
  
"He always spent so much time with me when he was around that I just loved that and tried not to place too much importance on him being away. I remember thinking he must be so brave when I was a kid, because I associated his uniform with all those on the TV on Veterans Day and stuff." She smiled at her younger naïve self.  
  
"So he didn't spend much time with Teri when he was home?" Eddie asked curiously. Kim was surprised at the question; for a moment wondering at Eddie's interest in detail. She shook it off, blaming it on his curious nature or the job he did, or in her fantasies… the fact that maybe he just wanted to get closer to her through the trivia of her family.  
  
"We did stuff together as I can recall. When I was older and he was in Kosovo, it seemed different. Mom would bicker with him when he came home and he and I would go out alone." She laughed at the benefits of hindsight. "I used to love it just being the two of us; Mom and I would get on each others nerves but Dad never made a big deal about things… we just had fun and I guess they were falling apart behind the scenes but I just saw my own needs." She paused and looked guilty.  
  
"You weren't to know what was going on, Kim. I doubt Jack would divulge his fears like that, he doesn't seem the sort." Again, Kim sensed that Eddie was fishing but over looked it.   
  
"It was rare of Dad to show his feelings, even rarer that he'd share his fears. His job meant that he wasn't allowed to share much. I grew up with it being that way. I think my Mom felt ignored." Then Eddie asked a question Kim had been waiting for.  
  
"Do you think he tells Laura how he feels? You think he lets her in?" There was a touch of sadness in his voice which echoed her own.  
  
"I hope so…" she paused and ran her finger over the photo that lay in the palm of her hand. "…and I hope not." Eddie understood this feeling too. He knew there was a chance Jack would choose to stay away. After all he'd been through; he had enough reason to stay the hell away from CTU and LA for good. If there was someone across the country who gave him the love and support he needed then why should he want to come back at all?  
  
"Would you move to Huntington to live with him, if he chose to stay with Laura?" Kim sighed and gulped down the rest of her soda.   
  
"He's all I've got. I don't ever want to be this far from him again. Eddie, I know all kids don't get along with their father's but I love my Dad more than anything; he's my best friend and even if there is someone that he needs more than me… I don't want to lose him." Kim spoke with an authoritative tone to her voice and it was obvious she wanted to mean it. Her father was all she had left in the world… but for all her hopeful words, she couldn't deny the jealousy in her heart.   
  
"Jack was really good to me at CTU. I was younger than the other guys… I worked so hard in school to get to this position… to have a career that meant I wouldn't ever have to go without or have those I love go through tough times…" Eddie felt like he was bleating on like an idiot and paused to shake off his rambling thoughts.  
  
"Dad was left a lot of money by my Grandpa and he was never really poor or anything. He always said that it was important to appreciate your place and everything he did was to keep us all looked after. I was brought up knowing that while I could pretty much have all I wanted; money was more valuable to those that didn't have it, than those who did." She shrugged like it was just so normal that it couldn't be doubted.  
  
"I guess it helped the two of you get along so well." Kim said in an almost questioning voice. Eddie nodded like she had found the needle in his haystack.  
  
"The other guys, kids at school… they all thought I was nuts to want to work so hard in the holidays. At CTU they just thought I was a creep; but Jack knew what I really wanted. He was there for me and he helped me out and helped me to get noticed." Kim found it hard to believe that someone as handsome and witty and intelligent as Eddie Jerome could ever fail to be noticed.  
  
"It wasn't just the work though, Jack was kind to me, and he encouraged me and…" He was drawing ever nearer to the truth that made him feel almost ashamed in front of the man's daughter. Kim waited patiently for Eddie to find his words.  
  
"I admired your father a lot, Kim. Hell, I practically worshipped the guy. He was so strong and decisive and he knew what he wanted and exactly how to get it." Kim smirked and gave a little gasp of surprise. "It was like I just wanted to be near him all the time, just to feel close to that kind of energy and enthusiasm and… when I got to know him better, I realised how much of a good man he was… how much of a big heart he had if only there was a way to get it out." Suddenly Eddie felt very vulnerable. Kim was watching him with a suspicious look.  
  
He didn't blame her at all. There she was in the middle of Texas, miles away from anyone and here he was going on about how much he loved her father.  
  
"He is a good man, Eddie, but he isn't like you think. He doesn't know what he wants; he plods along following orders and doing what he's told… he passes it all on to those who work for him and he doesn't feel powerful or in control. He's just a player being played like pretty much everyone else and although he'd never tell me what he has to do as part of his job… he's done some horrible things." Kim paused, seemingly just to emphasise the point she was trying to make. "As for his big heart… it seems he's found the one to get at it. I just hope she knows how to treat it now she has it."  
  
For the briefest moment Kim was reminded of that morning in the car with Kate. Kim had known as soon as she tried to play down her relationship with Jack that she was playing him. She knew it was all a game at that point and felt a kind of sorrow for her father for being so easily duped. Now she found herself wondering if Laura was doing the same.   
  
"I know there is a lot more to him that that now Kim, I do. Back then he was the only thing that gave me the courage to go on with my job…" Eddie wanted to make things clear to Kim; he wanted to make sure she didn't hate him for being manipulative or something, but it was too late for explanations now. Kim had taken her own impetuous understanding from the conversation and wasn't too happy by her conclusions.  
  
"Why does everyone want to know him? Why does everyone always want a piece of Jack Bauer?" She stood up and picked up her purse before turning back to face a stunned looking Eddie Jerome with the palest complexion anyone in Texas had ever seen.  
  
"He's my Dad. I'm the only family he has got and… why does everyone try to take him away from me? I just want my Dad to come home and be with me… is it so much to ask? I'm sick of always having to wait for attention… I'm sick of everyone else having a hold over him. He's my father Ed and no one knows him the way I do!"  
  
With that she stormed off through the door, practically shattering the panel of glass in it against the framework outside. Eddie held his head in his hands and cursed himself for ever opening his mouth in the first place. How was he ever going to get out of this one? 


	47. Chapter FortySeven

Forty miles and two hours later, Jack found himself sitting about one hundred yards from the Ranger's cabin that Marc Wagner had leased from a friend over the summer. He clicked off the lights and sat in the moonlit enclave just behind the cabin to enjoy an old fashioned stakeout for a while. There was no sign of anyone in the building; no sign that anyone had been there at all from that distance; but Jack wasn't ready to go any further just yet. He couldn't risk rushing in when Marc was likely to be armed and Alfie could be in danger.  
  
Jack pushed his back against the firm seat of his SUV and twisted his body to try and relieve some of the tension in his shoulders. What he wouldn't give just to have Laura's hands on him again now. She knew just how to make him better… how to make him feel good and to forget himself. Now he couldn't even do as simple a thing as breathing, without feeling the pain of some memory or another. He ached inside and out, but it was inside that it hurt the most. He had his pills and had been careful to take them properly but it didn't stop the pain in his heart. If only he'd got to speak to her before he left. Even if all he did was see her face as he told her how much he loved her and how much he wanted to make it all right this time… he knew if she had been there in front of him, she would have let him closer. She could never resist his honesty with her, especially when it was so heartfelt. Jack felt sure that he'd made a big mistake by walking away on Janice's request, but the last thing he wanted to do was cause her to lose another member of her family because of his actions.   
  
She would have undoubtedly put him first, but it wasn't the right thing to do. He didn't deserve such generosity in his mind, but he longed to have taken that one advantage from her… to have asked for her support, but he knew it was wrong and he knew that the strain of choosing would be too much for her at that time. Why was time always against him? He could never just be in the right place at the right moment… except of course the night they met.  
  
"I miss you Laura." He said as though she might be telepathically connected to him. "I miss you so much."  
  
He closed his eyes firmly to try and hold back the tears. He had to toughen up if he was going to get Alfie back. His softer side had done him a lot of favours recently, but it was no good for him now and he knew it had to be locked away again in favour of business. It wasn't long before sleep managed to take him and his head lolled forward awkwardly; a move that was sure to make his tense headache worse the following day.  
  
Though discomfort wouldn't wake him from his much needed rest, not physically at least. In his mind he saw his wife dying in his arms but somehow it didn't feel as bad as it used to. He watched himself tell his daughter that she should kill a man, and he didn't feel that same shame, he had done at the time. He watched himself being reprimanded for misconduct at CTU and no emotions could be seen on his tanned face. He watched Laura walk away from him, he watched a stocky police officer come out from the shop doorway and he watched the man take away their son… he watched Marc put a gun to his fiancée's chest and pull the trigger and then he watched her staring into his eyes as her life slipped away and her last words…  
  
"You let me down, Jack."  
  
He shook himself awake and sat bolt upright in the car seat. A cold sweat had his clothes clinging to his skin and he shivered as he lost his resolve not to cry and hunched forward over the steering wheel. He blamed himself for Alfie's kidnap. Anyone else might see it as his daughter's mistake, and an unintentional one at that. Jack couldn't think that way… after all she was his daughter. She wasn't yet the adult she thought she was, and someone had to be responsible for her. Only that someone wasn't even in the same state as her!   
  
'You have destroyed everyone's lives, Bauer. You did this. You think you can just let it all out and let someone into your heart? It doesn't work like that man. People like you don't deserve happiness like that… people like you don't deserve even the few weeks you got… people like you…'  
  
"People like me?" Jack spat into the dusty air. "What are people like me?" His answer came all too easily and he heard it in the voice of his one time enemy, Jonathan Wallace. 'Sam said you were a born killer, is that true?'  
  
'Well is it, Jack? Is that what you are? Natural born killer?' The chill ran up his spine and his mind seemed to wander from corpse to corpse; all dispatched on their way by his fair hand. Was he really like Wallace had said? Did he naturally seem able to do things that others would balk at even the suggestion of? If it was true then how did he get like this? Could you really be born to murder people or 'neutralise the problem' as his superiors called it.  
  
More to the point for Jack right now; could he ever get away from the perilous lifestyle he had created for himself and back to what everyone else thought of as normal? He knew that it wasn't directly the fault of his job this time, but yet again, his dangerous lifestyle had impeded the lives of those he loved and he could hardly refuse the blame; intentional or not.  
  
As he drifted to sleep he imagined nice things; the love and warmth he felt in Laura's arms, the compassion he felt for her son and his own daughter alike… the dream he'd wished would come true every moment of the day. All he dreamt of was the pain he'd caused everyone.  
  
'I hope you understand the pain you've caused.' He heard Janice's words repeat in his head like an echo that wouldn't die. 'I don't know how you can live with yourself.'  
  
Since he'd barely spoken to another living soul since he left Huntington, these words repeated over and over making a mockery of his attempts to get it together. As he drifted into a restless sleep he saw new images accompanying the words of his would be mother-in-law.   
  
They were no longer standing in the familiar doorway of Laura's apartment, where he had dithered about on many occasions, wondering whether or not it was appropriate to kiss her goodnight. Now they stood on a rain sodden field and as Jack looked down he had a familiar sinking sensation in his stomach. There below him was a rectangular hole; deeper than he was tall, and into it was being lowered a rosewood box. The inscription on the black marble above said simply…  
  
In loving memory of a generous hearted spirit who was taken from this world far too soon. Mother of Alfie and daughter of Janice and George, she will be most sorely missed.  
  
Jack stood away from the crowd unheeded and unwanted… alone. He looked down at the open casket as they lowered his lover into her grave. Her eyes were wide and she seemed to stare at him; eternally loving and gentle and perfect.   
  
Only she wasn't perfect; she couldn't find the strength of heart to recover from the loss of her only son and she couldn't take comfort in the arms of the man who had lost him for her. In the end it had been too hard to carry on, and the strength she gave to Jack, was gone when she needed it herself. She took her own life and was buried away from her father and son; who were afforded sacred earth in which to lie in peace, everlasting.  
  
Jack had taken Alfie away from her twice now and he had lost his own daughter in the process. The choices he made were undesirable; his actions, even more so. He had let down the woman he loved and he had rejected his own flesh and blood in order to try and bury his head in the dreams of what could have been. Now nothing could be, and he wished he could crawl into that cold dead earth alongside her.  
  
When Jack woke to the birds twittering in the trees beside his tan SUV, he felt sick with fear. He had only had one dream as vivid as that one and he had pinned all his hopes on it. Therefore it followed that all his deepest fears were now attached to this one.   
  
He couldn't let it happen; he'd do anything to stop it. He'd take as many lives as was necessary to protect his family and he'd give his own before he saw any harm come to Laura, Alfie or Kim.  
  
When the dream should have reminded him of the love he had briefly shared with the woman who made life worth living again. Instead it brought out his desire for revenge for years of wrongs and decades of loneliness and self doubt. Work was all that could grow on the wasteland that Jack Bauer had created for himself and work was where he would continue to hide.   
  
"I'll kill anyone that comes between us, Laura. Though first I'll make him suffer like he has hurt you. No one hurts my family and gets away with it… not again!" 


	48. Chapter FortyEight

Eddie felt very uncomfortable as they drove the final sixty miles towards Huntington, Kim hadn't spoken a word to him, since they left Amarillo and he had no idea what he could say to make the misunderstanding go away. He had quickly realised how pathetic he sounded trying to explain his feelings for Jack to the man's daughter. How dare he presume that he could play out his fantasies with her blessing?   
  
"Kim, I need to talk to you about what we said at lunch before." God, he sounded like such a fool. He knew how he'd come across and it wasn't what he'd meant at all.  
  
"Eddie, just tell me straight okay? Do you have a thing for my Dad? Are you just with me now because you think that… do you want to screw him or something?" Eddie gasped. Had he really come across that way?  
  
"No! Christ Kim; no I'm not gay… I mean I'm not attracted to him like that." He realised that he wasn't making things much clearer and coming across as rather homophobic in the process. "You're old man is an attractive guy, sure; I know of more than one man in the office who would… well you know… but me… I don't want to screw him, no."  
  
Kim sighed; a heavy sigh of relief, not just for the fact that Eddie wasn't using her but that it wouldn't be someone else trying to take her father from her and causing all manner of trouble in the process.  
  
"That's a little of the reason I had trouble at work. I shouldn't mention names but… well one of my superiors was rather jealous of the time I spent with your father and… if it wasn't for Jack stepping in and standing up for me… I think the guy would have had me fired for anything he could pin me on, just so that I never got that close again." He shook his head in confusion; he was deviating from the point.  
  
"I care a lot about Jack, I always have… sometimes I feel like I could even love the guy… but it isn't sexual. The only Bauer I feel like that about is you, Kim." She looked shocked, but a shy smile appeared on her lips and a pink glow to her cheeks.  
  
"My father was a pilot and he died in a terrorist attack five years ago… right before my graduation from the police training school. He'd been real proud of me and… it hurt a lot that he was taken from me and my Mom, in such a horrible way." Kim reached out and stroked Eddie's hand, as it rested on his right thigh. Her affection was met with the first really warm and genuine smile he'd given her in days.  
  
"I went to CTU in order to get some kind of payback… it was really stupid of me to think like that and I knew that it wasn't good for me to feel that way. You have to move on, not live in the misery… however hard it is." Kim nodded. It had been a hard sentiment to grasp for her also. "If it hadn't have been for Jack making me realise how destructive those feelings were becoming, I don't think I'd be around today."  
  
Kim smiled at the man beside her, who suddenly looked almost childlike in his sadness.   
  
"I didn't realise… I'm sorry Eddie… I mean I have been going on and on about losing my Mom and… why didn't you tell me about your father?"  
  
"Because I didn't want you to know that… well, since Jack gave me such support when I really needed it... I've been obsessed with wanting him to be like some replacement for my Dad." Kim looked worried and rubbed at the end of her nose nervously. "I don't want you to think I'm just dating you because I want Jack to be my Dad too. I really care for you Kim and I don't want you to believe for a second that I'm using you to get near your Dad. That would just be a bonus."  
  
She smiled at him and was relieved by his explanation. It had been hard contemplating what the other options would have been and now she felt so happy to find that it was better than she had imagined. He really did want to be with her! The joy of possibly having found a man she could spend the rest of her life with overtook any worry that part of his motive was selfish.  
  
"Say something, Kimmy. Are you mad at me?" He pulled over the car to look at her properly and was glad to see she had a small smile on her face.  
  
"If you keep calling me Kimmy, I will be." He laughed and she followed suit. "I thought that you… oh I don't know what I thought. You really just want to be with me? I mean you want us to be together… boyfriend and girlfriend?" Eddie nodded at her shy and awkward question. "You know you'd have to marry me, to really have Jack be your Dad too." She smirked, playfully teasing him.  
  
"Yeah well, maybe we can have a double wedding then… you know a proper family affair!" Eddie was just joking but once it sank into his own head he felt terrible having reminded Kim of her deepest fears.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Kim. That was so insensitive of me, I never meant…. I'm not too good at this. You know you are the first girl I've dated since High School?" She looked shocked. "Yeah, I didn't have much time for dating… what with all this focusing on my career and stuff. I'm sorry if I make a fool of myself sometimes… you are probably the only woman I've ever felt like this about."  
  
Kim closed her eyes and took a deep breath. This was all becoming a little overwhelming and was the last thing she expected to happen when she crawled out of a cheap motel room bed that morning.   
  
"It's okay Ed, I guess I have to get used to the idea eventually. They are going to get married and…" She paused and in a nanosecond her expression changed from one of acceptance to complete and utter turmoil. "God Eddie, what if he can't find Alfie. He'll hate me for ruining this one chance at happiness… I'll lose my Dad and it's all, my fault. He said he was going to call me… I should have waited… I…" She began to cry and Eddie pulled her across the seat towards him and embraced her tenderly.  
  
"Kimmy; sweetheart, I know that you just wanted to know he was safe. He never should have left you like that… if you have made mistakes, then so has he; he has to acknowledge his own blame in all this too." Eddie stroked her hair from her face compassionately. "I'll never leave you, Kim. Whether your father comes back or not… I love you, Kimmy Bauer."  
  
She looked up at him; wiping the tears away with her sleeve she closed the few inches between them and tentatively kissed him.  
  
When things had calmed down they sat facing one another and continued their conversation as their fingers played together absently.  
  
"I just need to know she wouldn't hurt him. Kate… I knew right away that she was using him… I couldn't see it with Nina… maybe if I had done…"  
  
"Hey, no Kim; don't you dare start taking after your father like that! For a man who taught me not to wallow in my pain he seems to be particularly bad at taking his own advice." Kim smirked.  
  
"Tell me about it! He can be one hell of a hypocrite sometimes. I hope I don't take after him for that!" Eddie nodded and shrugged off any queries his curious mind may have come up with, for the sake of keeping a prevailing peace. "But I would like to be more like him in some ways… he's so strong sometimes… so brave. Maybe not all the time… things that he wants usually get pushed aside. He puts others first and I guess I'm too selfish for that."  
  
"No you aren't. Do you think we are driving across country for your sake?" Eddie implored.   
  
"Yes. I feel guilty… I'm jealous… I want my Dad back…" she felt her heart sink at all the guilt she felt for being so egocentric and naïve about her real feelings. "I want him to be happy but… I don't want…" She found it hard to say anything more and Eddie wasn't sure if it was due to being unable to explain or that she didn't want him to know how bitter she felt inside.  
  
Eddie knew that Kim was finding it hard to imagine that her father could move on with his life, after losing Teri so tragically. Her resentment for Laura had been obvious to him from the first time she'd seen her on the video feed sent over to CTU. Past history didn't exactly favour things going well once they arrived in Huntington, even without the special circumstances they now had to face. Even if Alfie hadn't been snatched; the new girlfriend situation would be enough to put Kim Bauer on the defensive.  
  
"I'm sure Laura will feel quite nervous about meeting you too Kim. If she has a kid of her own it must have been awkward for her to let Jack into her heart as well." He offered his moment of insight to her and hoped it would keep her mind off the Kate situation. It didn't.  
  
"Eddie, I'm scared." She admitted with a trembling voice. "What if she is using Dad, like the others? What happened with Kate Warner… I know I'd shot a gun before… I'd even killed a man… but when I did that… I wasn't shooting her to save my own life, Eddie… I wasn't even shooting her, just to save my Dad. I wanted her dead. I didn't want them to be together and I didn't want him to find comfort in someone else… I know that it was a far off thought in my mind as I pulled the trigger on the bitch, but Eddie I did it gladly. I took a life and…" She sighed and looked into the middle distance; a worried expression turning rapidly into a rather worrying one in the blink of an eye.   
  
"Eddie, I know I didn't really have to go through a proper court trial over it… but I'm glad everyone who spoke to me afterwards treated me like a kid…I never told anyone this Ed, but if they had asked me as an adult, how I felt firing that gun and taking away her nasty life… I'd have told them I was happy to do it."  
  
As if this rather shocking statement wasn't enough to spook Eddie Jerome; who had always seen Kim as a sweet and loving girl, she then added to his surprise by telling him…  
  
"It was more than that. It felt like it was my duty. My Dad had told me to shoot Gary Matheson to save my life and I followed his orders like I was his junior officer or apprentice, rather than his daughter. I'd follow my Dad to the gates of hell if he asked me too, because I know he'd do anything to protect me…" With this statement her words trailed off and she concentrated hard on what it meant to her now.  
  
"But he walked away and now I feel like, I'm not so important to him anymore and I feel lonely and… I never realised how much I appreciated his over protectiveness until he wasn't there anymore. I'd do anything for him… I think he is such a brave man and he holds it together under such horrible circumstances and I wish I was as good as he is. I want to work for CTU and be like my Dad. I understand why you admire him Eddie… I feel so lucky to be a part of him…"  
  
"You said you'd do anything for him?" Eddie interrupted; worrying at the excitement in Kim's tone and where this was coming from… or more to the point where it might be headed. "Does that include being happy for him and Laura, when it isn't really what you want? Could you deal with that?"  
  
She nodded and smiled back at her boyfriend as though he had just asked a really dumb question.  
  
"Of course I'd deal with him being with her. I love him… I just want what is best for him." She leaned over to hug Eddie and he took her in his arms gladly. Over his shoulder, the smile on her face faded to a look of concern and she knew it would never be that simple.  
  
Eddie looked out of the window at the dreary wasteland they were driving across and wondered what he was taking them into.  
  
'The gunshot wound was fatal. A single bullet to the head and Ms Warner was dead instantly, she would have felt no pain. I'm sorry for your loss Mr Warner. It must be terrible for you to have been so betrayed by your own children.'  
  
Eddie remembered his own words to the bereaved father of the woman Kim Bauer had so efficiently dispatched on her way. He also remembered the jokes in the office, both immediately after it happened and recently when the guys found out who Eddie was dating.   
  
"Like father like daughter eh? What a shot; I wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of Kim Bauer. It sounds like she learnt a thing or two from her old man. You had better watch yourself Ed; you don't want those guys gunning for you!"  
  
At the time, Eddie had taken his friends humour in his stride, laughed it off and tried not to remember how true it was. Now he wondered at those jokes and whether Kim knew her own abilities. She had said she would deal with it. But how that dealing might take place scared Eddie in a major way. 


	49. Chapter FortyNine

Laura had been soundly asleep for around four hours when she was suddenly awoken by the sound of shrill voices in her hallway. Pulling herself from the warm comfort of her bed, she put on the thick winter robe that she had got out for Jack to wear; it still smelt faintly of him. Somehow the comfort and warmth could not be replaced without the feel of his arms around her, and the emptiness of reality was quick to sink in.  
  
"You have no right to be here, young lady!" she heard her mother scolding. "If you hadn't have interfered my daughter wouldn't be in the mess, she is now." Laura hadn't a clue who could be out there, who would be able to rile her mother that way. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and went out to see what was going on.  
  
"I'm sorry about what has happened, but I just wanted to see my father…" the young lady replied assertively.  
  
"Kim?" Laura asked, surprised to see the young blonde on the doorstep of her apartment but not at all angry, like her mother. The young woman nodded a little nervously and Laura looked to her companion and he smiled and gave her his name.  
  
"Hello, Ms Fletcher. I'm Eddie Jerome… I worked with Jack at CTU in LA." Janice stood by pinching her lips together furiously.  
  
"Won't you come in?" Laura asked in a soft and exhausted voice. She stepped back from the door but Janice was reluctant to move until her daughter glared at her with an almost embarrassed expression on her face.  
  
"Laura, I won't have anything to do with this. You know it's her fault… If she hadn't have interfered, little Alfie would still be here safe and sound…"  
  
"Mother!" Laura snapped. "If you are going to talk like that, I don't want you to have anything to do with this. I told you before; this is a horrible situation and just a nasty turn of fate… I don't blame Kim for this… If Marc wanted to find us, he would have done so in the end, whatever information he had."  
  
"She gave him your address!" Janice snapped back.  
  
"Mom, I don't have anyone to help me through this… Jack is gone and you are my only family… I don't need for you to be against every decision I make…"  
  
"Well what if I see you walking into yet another mistake…" she prattled on regardless.  
  
"Mother, you liked Marc when I met him; if I hadn't have come to you when he hurt me and Alfie, you never would have thought badly of him. For that matter you thought Jack was wonderful until this happened… I don't know how you can change your mind so quick… things aren't just black and white you know?"  
  
"Yes well I can admit I've made mistakes and errors of judgement, isn't it time you took notice of your own?" She sounded so cold and hurtful. Laura began to wonder if she really did need her around at all.  
  
"Yes it is. I should have took notice of the way I felt when you hounded Jack out of here on Monday night. I should have trusted my heart and gone after him instead of letting you placate me. You don't know what's best for me mother and you aren't helping me feel any better, when you keep telling me I've lost everything that mattered to me!"  
  
"So you want me to go?" she asked, almost sounding a bit hurt.  
  
"If all you can do is say hurtful things to people I care about; then yes, I want you to go. I have enough to deal with without you making me feel more alone." Well Janice didn't need to be told again; she took up her coat and bag and with a hurt look, she walked from the apartment without looking back.  
  
Well silence prevailed for a long moment and the guests in her house felt very awkward indeed. The quiet moment, gave Kim long enough to look upon and consider the woman who had taken her father's heart and that evoked such jealousy within her. She seemed frail and slight, and Kim wondered if she was always like that or if it was the circumstances that made her appear so weak. Jack never usually went for submissive women… if anything; where relationships were concerned, it was he who was the submissive one.  
  
Laura turned and regarded her lover's daughter for the first time. She was attractive and seemingly considerate and intelligent like her father. She had his slight frown and Laura felt her heart sink a little, as she remembered how much she missed him.  
  
"Has my Dad left then?" Kim asked anxiously. "I went to his apartment, but there was no answer, the super told me to try here and explained what had happened…" Laura nodded and gestured for them to sit down. "Laura I'm really sorry about what happened to Alfie…"  
  
"Kim; like I said to my mother, it's not your fault. You just wanted to find your father. I told him over and over to call you… its just fate. If I'd been more persistent and convinced him to call sooner, then perhaps none of this would have happened."  
  
"I don't think its constructive for either of you to blame yourselves… the only person to blame here is Wagner." Eddie said quite forcefully. Both women nodded their understanding and really did feel a little comforted by his honesty.  
  
"My Dad blames himself though, doesn't he?" Kim said, gazing down at the floor.  
  
"Yes, I think so." Laura replied. "I should have told him it wasn't his fault… I didn't want him to leave… I should have… he tried so hard to find him and help the police… I don't know what I would have done without him." Laura couldn't fight the tears anymore. She had been holding them back for days; at least to the public view; and now facing up to all that had gone on, hurt too much to hide it.  
  
Eddie was surprised at what he saw before him then. Only a few hours ago in the car, he had been convinced that Kim would steel his gun and blow her step mom-to-be away, as soon as she opened the door. Now he watched as Kim dropped to her knees in front of Laura and hugged her.  
  
"It'll be okay. Dad really cares for your son… he told me on the phone and he'd never let anything happen to him, if he can help it in any way… Dad will get him back and it'll be right again… it's okay Laura; please don't cry."  
  
"I miss him so much…" She sobbed. Kim nodded and was about to say something about it being only natural as a mother; when Laura elaborated on her point.  
  
"I know he is probably the best person to be looking for Alfie, but I just miss him so much… I feel so alone…" After a few more tears, Laura found the strength to get it together in front of these relative strangers. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to break down in front of you two like that… I was trying to… I keep thinking that Marc just wanted a son… and that he wouldn't harm Alfie, but what if… oh God, what if he hurt my son… I couldn't live without him."  
  
"Eddie could you get us all some tea or something?" Kim asked still holding Laura's hand in her own. "Laura, I can't give you the answers you need. He didn't sound nasty on the phone to me, and I looked through the information Dad asked for… for what its worth he doesn't look like… well he doesn't fit the profile of… that kind of person."  
  
"He'd hurt Jack though and… I love him so much, Kim. Jack is the only person since my husband, who made me feel alive inside. Alfie loves him to bits… why do things like this have to happen? He's such a good man, and so many terrible things have happened to him and you… Kim you should know that he loves you very much. He felt so terrible for leaving you; he could never forgive himself for how much he hurt you." Kim shook her head as though it was silly to talk that way.   
  
"I told him it was okay, I told him on the phone I didn't blame him for what happened. I love my father very much, I'd forgive him anything." Laura smiled at how obviously alike they were in some ways, and at how neither of them had cause to worry about their relationship, as she had imagined all along.  
  
"I just hope he is okay… He has his pills but…" Laura began to explain the Jack that she knew, and Kim had missed out on spending so much time with.  
  
"Pills? What's wrong with him? Is it his heart… he seemed hurt when I… the last time I saw him. I've worried about him a lot." His daughter admitted.  
  
"You and me both, Kim. He is taking care of himself better; at least he'd begun to… I had him eating properly again and he wasn't drinking… but…" She was reluctant to state the rest of her news.  
  
"What Laura? Is he sick? Please, he's my Dad I need to know." She pleaded fretfully.  
  
"And I'll tell you all I can, it's just… something my mother said when he came here on Monday night. I was sedated; the detective thought it important for me to rest and… she said he stank of alcohol… I couldn't hear it in his voice but to be honest I felt like I was miles away with the effects of the Valium…"  
  
"Do you think he would hurt himself?" Kim asked as she took the mug of tea from her boyfriend with a trembling hand.  
  
"I don't think so. He seemed determined to get Alfie back; he hadn't got all morbid and suicidal again…" Kim's face went white. It had been her worst fear while he was away; that the only news she would hear would be that he was dead. She had worried that perhaps given the horrendous circumstances lately, he would be driven to something crazy.  
  
"What do you mean again? Was he going to kill himself? Laura, what did he do?"  
  
"Calm down Kim. Its okay, I'm sure he wouldn't do anything like that. When I met him he was very depressed. He was smoking and drinking a lot and I don't think he'd had a proper meal in a few months by the look of him and his apartment. He is much better now, we talked and he opened up about a lot of stuff that was bothering him. He was feeling a lot better and he looked well again… he was taking his medication and got plenty of exercise…" Laura felt the blush in her cheeks as Jack's daughter regarded her a little suspiciously.   
  
"Sounds like you were very good for him." Kim replied with an expression and tone of voice that Laura was unable to gauge. "I guess that was why he wanted to marry you, anyway!"  
  
Laura hadn't taken in that Jack may have got around to telling his daughter of their plans, given the circumstances. She felt awkward having to be the one explaining things to the man's daughter, having just met her for the first time.  
  
"I didn't realise Jack had told you that. I know it might seem very quick but we weren't intending to rush into anything… your father wanted your blessing and for us all to… well, get along okay. I think we are good for each other. I love your Dad very much, Kim. We had become very close and… Kim, I don't want you to think I am trying to take your mother's place… I know I could never…"  
  
"Dad will always love my mother; you know that don't you? You can't replace her for him either!" Kim said angrily. Eddie took her hand and tried to clam her down. Laura noted the worried expression on his face and thought back to what Jack had told her about Kate.   
  
"Kim, I know I can't be Teri; I don't want to be. I will always have a place in my heart for Richard… my husband… the same as Jack will always love your mother. But I love your Dad, I know its quick and we have a long way to go but he loves me too and we want to be together. I know it won't be easy on any of us at first but I hope we can at least be friends."   
  
This was too much to be getting into when her son was missing, and Laura felt wearied by the whole conversation. It had been a while since she was a troubled teen dealing with her mother's replacement father figures; but not too long to remember the resentment and the jealously.  
  
"I'd never do anything to hurt your father, Kim. We have argued once in the whole time we've known each other and I felt terrible..."  
  
"The whole time you have known each other? What's that a couple of weeks… how can you think you know him well enough to stir all this stuff up and wreck my life, when you have only known him five minutes?" Kim interrupted.  
  
Laura wasn't about to be shouted at, particularly in the condition she was. She squared up to Kim and showed that she wasn't the submissive type, she had her pegged as from that first once over.  
  
"I think its time you took a step back Kim and looked at this for what it really is. Whether I've known your Dad for five minutes or five years… I love him and he loves me. We have got each other through a lot of shit over the few weeks we have been together. I lost my father when I was a little girl; I know what its like to have to audition replacements. I lost the man that I loved and my son lost his father when he wasn't even one year old. Don't tell me I'm wrecking your life, when for the last few weeks I've done nothing but try to get you and your father back together."  
  
"How do I know that you did that? How do I know you weren't planning to take him away from me?" Kim was hiding her tears behind a façade of fury by this point and Laura could easily see through this mask.  
  
"You know it because he called you and told you himself that he was happy with me. I'm not playing some game Kimberly. I am straight with you about how I feel and what I want. Jack wanted us to move to LA to be a family, he wanted us to get married and have children and he wanted you to be happy for him." Laura sighed and drank from her sweet tea.   
  
"Though you won't believe me. You need to ask him yourself how he feels and then you alone can decide what you want to happen. If you hate me; so be it. I can't change that. I'm not a nasty person and I'd never do anything to deliberately hurt you, but I will marry your father and I will be a part of your life whether you want to acknowledge it or not."  
  
Eddie was white as a sheet and consciously moved his coat to cover the revolver that was holstered from his belt. Kim looked at Laura with astonishment. The silence remained for what felt like several hours. No one knew what to say and had way too much on their minds to make deciding any simpler.  
  
"If you ever hurt him…" Kim began eventually.  
  
"Don't worry Kim; I'd rather die than see your father in any pain. I know that you could see to that if you really wanted to." She noted the shocked expression befall the young blonde's face. "You see he told me everything that has happened to him and I know what happened to Kate; what's more I can probably guess at why it happened a little better than your Dad will acknowledge."  
  
Kim froze in that moment she could see Kate Warner smiling viciously at her and she felt her blood begin to boil, before she was startled back to reality by Laura's next statement.   
  
"You see, I'd have done the same. I had high morals about the sort of stuff you father does, until I asked myself; what would I do if it was someone I loved. If anything can prove to you how much I love Jack, it's the fact that those morals I held so high, would go right out the window if anyone threatened to harm him. I'd kill Marc if he hurt Jack or my son and I wouldn't regret it for a second."  
  
How could Kim argue with a rationale like that? Laura knew her father pretty well if he'd told her all that stuff he must trust her a great deal. However long they had known each other, Jack had trusted her with the things that he hid from everyone else. Kim had to admit he would never have done a thing like that lightly. She reluctantly agreed to go along with what Laura was saying; at least until she heard what her father had to say on the matter.  
  
"Well at least we know where we both stand." She said finally. "All I want is for my Dad to be happy; if when I get the chance to speak to him properly, he tells me that it's you that makes him happy, then fine…" Laura nodded.  
  
"I guess we'll have to wait this one out then, won't we?" 


	50. Chapter Fifty

A bluebird had landed on the hood of Jack's SUV and it stared at him through the glass, as he woke from another horrible nightmare. He'd watched a movie a long time ago that had some line about seeing a bluebird and it setting you free or something… hell; his memory was awful when he was stressed out. He felt like his mind was slipping away into the mists of the early dawn beyond his car, and he was reminded of Teri again.  
  
Teri had liked to think of his career in a much more romantic sense than could truthfully be ascribed to it. He had always been her hero; even before he did anything remotely heroic in the eyes of his superiors, he was valiant to his wife. Perhaps it was the effect of the uniform; even he had to admit he filled out his army formals pretty well. As she became more aware of the details of the missions he was involved in; he became more of an anti-hero. The one that was admirable while still being rather dastardly too. She'd called him her Heathcliff; thanks to her passion for that novel and he'd laughed at her silly ideas. Now finding himself wandering through a desolate wood, shrouded in mist and seeking vengeance for the injustices suffered by the woman he loved… he thought maybe she'd had a point.   
  
He also found some other strange memory following him as he walked towards the cabin after four and a half hours surveillance. Maybe it was the alcohol swishing around in his veins; he'd argued that it was to keep him warm in the car all night… it wasn't. Maybe it was the pills; had he taken too many, the previous evening? Telling time in these situations was never easy. Running from one rushed and usually failed endeavour to another made you forget the existence of the clock… had you not been on a deadline from the boss of course. Whatever it was, he was sure he felt Teri was with him.   
  
Now Jack Bauer really wasn't the sort of guy to believe in ghosts and the afterlife. He wanted to… bearing in mind all those he'd sent to hell; he wanted to believe they actually went there. However, he didn't like to think of it too much, for his own reasons. He doubted very much whether St Peter would let him through the gates, after all he'd done to boost business. Though despite any of his beliefs he felt she was there; like when she'd try and sneak up on him shaving in the bathroom. As if an agent with military and Special Forces training wouldn't notice his heavy footed wife pacing like a cat into the en-suite and trying to avoid the mirror's reflection and her husband's glance.  
  
He played along, as he was doing now. Wondering if he'd spot her somewhere in the shadows this time; like he always did before.  
  
'Bauer, what the hell are you playing at? Teri is dead; just another of those you helped up to Peter. Get it together man!'  
  
He was beginning to defy his conscience on principle now. It tended to produce a pattern of self-loathing that he was growing out of now that he had things to live for, and it seemed pointless to listen. But the voice that he heard next wasn't his conscience… his madness perhaps; but not the words of his little devil. The angel on his shoulder was his wife, and she spoke to him the way she had in his dream. Soft and ever-loving; her gentle side.   
  
'Not this way, Jack.'   
  
He stood back from the front porch and regarded the doorway suspiciously. He was tired; when wasn't he tired? He thought he was going nuts; that too had been a recurring theme these last few years. Whatever he felt was going on in his head… he knew she was right. The front door to the rented cabin was rigged with explosives. Nothing too serious, Marc obviously wasn't like the high players, which Jack was used to taking out, but this was definitely enough to send him to see his wife again!  
  
He stood still and pondered what to do next. His heart was pounding a thundering beat in his chest, but as he stood back and counted in his mind; quietly assessing his own physical condition, he realised it wasn't ill health or fear that made his chest thud; but the realisation of what had just stopped him walking up to his own death.  
  
Why would Teri want him to stay alive? Kim was the obvious answer, but somehow Jack already felt like his daughter was doing okay without him. Wouldn't there be a part of his wife that wanted to be with him eternally.   
  
'What are you thinking, Bauer? Stop being such a girl!'  
  
Jack laughed softly to himself. All these voices in his mind were trying to mess him up, something awful. He was resolved in his actions that followed. The only part of him he planned to listen to were the purest; his heart and his instincts… maybe this time they wouldn't get him into trouble.   
  
'Third time lucky, eh Bauer?'  
  
With a laugh he walked around the side of the cabin and jimmied open the window lock. Surely something had to be inside worth protecting. He hoped to God it was Alfie. There was no car, if Marc was there too; he had an accomplice. Perhaps he bullied Allison into helping him, Jack thought to himself as he climbed in the open window and dropped silently onto the hardwood floor. The place was silent.  
  
He walked from room to room, checking each of the two small bedrooms and the bathroom and kitchen as well as any hiding place in the main lounge room. Nothing could be found and there was no sign of his son. That was until he crouched down to diffuse the bomb attached to the front door.  
  
After cutting three internal wires the device was rendered inactive and Jack leant back against the wall to wipe the perspiration from his brow. He leant back and tried to think through the possible actions of this madman. Why would Marc be so protective of a place that held no leads to his crime? There had to be something he missed. Marc must have expected he would be followed here… something would be there to prove he had taken Alfie.  
  
Jack went to the trash can in the kitchen and found what he'd call proof. No court in the land would believe it was evidence; practically half of the population ate pop tarts, whatever their age. Raspberry was Alfie's favourite and the chocolate milk was his beverage of choice…it gave Jack a little comfort; at least he was being fed. Jack returned to the bedroom and lifted the pillow to his face, in the smaller bedroom they just smelt of musty sheets that hadn't been washed in a while. The dust collected on the nightstand was untouched… he tried the larger bedroom.  
  
This time raising the pillows to his nose, he found the comforting fragrance of the vanilla shampoo that his girlfriend used for herself and her little boy. Again it wouldn't count as evidence, but it meant something to Jack. It meant the world to Jack.   
  
He lay down on the bed and closed his eyes. He had to be missing something further; he had to find a clue to Alfie's whereabouts. He couldn't go home with out him. He couldn't bear to hurt Laura again. He rolled off the bed and his back stiffened as he felt a lump under the quilt. Rubbing his left hip he pulled back the covers and found the evidence he needed.   
  
Spiderman gazed up at him through cheap plastic eyes and he couldn't help but smile. In his mind, Jack could almost see the little boy with a cunning look on his face as he stashed his favourite toy to be found later by the man he wanted to be his father more than anything in this world.   
  
Alfie liked having a cop for his Daddy, despite his mother and grandmother's reservations. They had searched Laura's apartment for fingerprints a few times and Alfie comically wandered around with a note pad and his mother's reading glasses. How thankful Jack was now for those silly little games; that he had to spend hours cleaning up after!  
  
"Thank you, Alfie." He whispered into the still air.  
  
The dust beside the bed was months old but on the nightstand there were places that the sun caught it and there in the dust Jack found evidence that would stand up to criticism.  
  
'Daddy fone call A x'  
  
How could a seven year old be a better investigator than he was! Jack thought as he went to the phone in the lounge and pressed star69. The call was to a number in Charleston. A quick call to the operator told Jack it was a Mrs Allison Wagner. So she had been in on it.  
  
One more call and he was on his way. Time was speeding up and Jack had a job to do, one of the most important and life changing missions he'd ever taken on. The stakes were high, but this time he would not fail.  
  
Back at the car Jack pondered what he should do next. What if this woman was involved and what if Marc was there too. This was a very dangerous situation and possibly life threatening for his son. If he went in there shooting, he could get hurt; and if Marc was ready for him… Jack had to be prepared. There was no question in his mind when it came to offing Marc, but what about Allison? She had suffered at that evil man's hands the same as Laura had, only for a lot longer. If she stood up for her husband, would Jack be prepared to take her life too?  
  
There was a time when he'd have taken such a decision in his stride, but having found Laura and himself in the bargain, he wasn't sure that was an action he could take. His mind was running in circles and he would have listened to any of the voices; be them, devil or angel. Though now no one spoke, and the silence was too much. Jack started the engine and reversed at speed from the woods.   
  
The time had come to face the music. As Jack Bauer, he had no badge to hide behind. He had no support in this one, and no one to call… less he rely on the incompetent and possibly bent local police… they were Marc's friends; he knew he couldn't trust them. He was in this alone… as a man and a father; but this time not as an agent. 


	51. Chapter FiftyOne

It was almost two in the morning and the three occupants of Laura's apartment sat still and silent, mesmerised by a made for TV movie that really didn't deserve such attention. No one knew what to say. After the discussion earlier, any subsequent conversation was small talk; choosing from a pizza menu, choosing a movie, choosing to do anything but get closer to each other.  
  
Laura listened for the phone to ring, or the doorbell or the news report that the police had promised to put together in order to help find her son. No one seemed to be doing anything and sitting there was really beginning to get to her. She bit her nails to the quick, trembled constantly and her left eye occasionally twitched with a will of its own. Her worst nightmares were coming true and yet she still felt the routine concerns absorb her. Right now her thoughts were lost in etiquette.  
  
'What if Jack wouldn't like this boyfriend of hers? I can't let them sleep together in my bed… in our bed; if he would hate him. But I can't really tell her I disagree; as she and I both know and have stated very clearly; I am not her mother.'  
  
"I am pretty tired; I think I might need to go to sleep soon." Laura remarked without meeting her guests' eyes at all. Thankfully Eddie seemed like a good man; he was eager to keep the peace and to find compromise between their two equally strong personalities.  
  
"Yes, I'm quite tired myself, after all that driving; Kim?" the way he spoke to her, it was as though he himself wasn't completely sure what protocol to follow when making sleeping arrangements. "I'll be quite happy to sleep on the couch."  
  
Somehow Laura felt more reluctant to share that than her own bed. She and Jack had a lot of 'firsts' on that couch and she remembered the comfort of his arms so much more clearly with the accompanied smell of old leather that emanated from it.   
  
"No, you two can have my bed; I'll change the sheets and sleep out here." Eddie was about to protest but she silenced him with a pat on the arm. "I'd rather be near the phone anyway. It's no problem… I mean if it's okay with the both of you?" She met Kim's glance for the first real time since their rather impassioned conversation, and was pleased to see a slight smile.  
  
"I don't think that my Dad would really approve…" Kim was trying to build a few bridges; it was clear Laura wasn't going anywhere and insulting her for no good reason, would only make her father angrier when he eventually came back. It was time to button her lip and get on with making friends. Okay, she didn't really want to be friends with Laura, but it couldn't hurt to go through the motions until she could get Jack back to his old self again.  
  
"Well it did cross my mind, but I can do little about it… all I can say for sure is that he wanted you to be happy… you seem happy with Eddie and Jack mentioned you two getting along well at one time…"  
  
"Did he?" Eddie said, with a barely restrained excitement. Kim sighed and smiled at Laura while shaking her head at her boyfriend.  
  
"I'd think you had competition, Laura; but apparently he just thinks of him like a father figure!" Laura laughed. It was the first time since all this happened that she had felt even a moment of cheer. The guilt crept into her quickly and she nodded before making some comment about Jack being a good father figure to Alfie too.  
  
"Anyway, I'll make up the bed… is there anything you need?" Laura seemed distracted and Kim felt a wave of pity for the woman that she hadn't expected to feel at all.  
  
"No, we are okay, I have my toothbrush and…" She watched an awkward expression grow on Laura's face. "Are you okay?"  
  
"I'm not sure I should ask this… it doesn't feel like my place, but I know Jack…" Kim looked confused but Eddie picked up on the meaning quickly and countered it before any further embarrassment was caused.  
  
"We aren't actually sleeping together… you know… it's still pretty new and… thank you for the concern though, Laura." Kim suddenly realised what Laura was talking about and gave an almost silent gasp of surprise.  
  
"Do you have any?" she said without showing any shyness at all. Laura was taken aback by this frank attitude, but didn't think it her place to make judgement… other than the fact that she was at least a fairly sensible girl.  
  
"I think so…" Laura began, going to the bedroom dresser. "I think Jack bought some…" Kim was relieved to find the packet unopened and smiled a rather superior looking smile. Which Eddie seemed to think inappropriate and frowned at Kim. "Not that I'm encouraging anything… I don't think Jack would be keen on being a grandpa just yet…"   
  
She was trying hard to appeal to Kim's heart. It seemed to be having little effect.  
  
"So you and Dad haven't had sex yet, either?" Kim said, turning the cellophane wrapped carton in her hand. Laura felt her cheeks flush red at the question and wished she had never brought the subject up. She only just found out they were going to get married and now she had to explain that she and Jack had decided on other major things in their lives, seemingly over night.  
  
"Yes, we have….err… we decided that we didn't want to take precautions… I mean we are both healthy and all that; well at least in regards to…" It was beginning to get a little embarrassing for her and she knew that with each word she was digging a deeper hole for herself.  
  
"So you are planning to have kids together? Are you trying to trap him here with you?" Kim said snidely.   
  
"Kim!" Eddie chastised. "You shouldn't speak to Laura like that." Kim turned on him with such a rage that Laura actually thought she'd strike the young man.  
  
"Ed, don't tell me what to do. You want Jack to be your Dad, you can call her Mom if you want, but I'm not! I don't have to do anything for her…" She was losing the power in her voice as she watched Laura's expression change. Somehow she knew not to push too hard, however angry and hurt she felt.  
  
"No, Kim, you don't… you are an adult… you can do what you wish. You don't have to respect my wishes… hell, you're old enough now, that you could ignore your father's wishes too. You don't need him to tell you how to live your life…" Kim felt like this was another way for Laura to take Jack from her, and her anger and spite built up once more.  
  
"Yes I do! He's my Dad, stop trying to take him from me. You don't know what I need; you can't steal him away, you know; you can't take him just like that. I won't let you!"  
  
"Kimberly, you're right. I can't take your father from you. He isn't a seven year old child… I can't kidnap him and keep him hidden away as my own." The reality of her pain made her angry too, and with that anger, came a desire to get her own back. Laura was stubborn, more so than Jack in fact, and she wasn't going to take anymore of this whining. She wouldn't let her own son speak to her that way and she wasn't going to let her fiancé's daughter do it either. Eddie and Kim had both acquired guilty looks with her words, and Laura thought it time to put all this to bed, once and for all.  
  
"Thing is Kim, no matter how you take someone physically, you can never take their heart. Your father gave that to me willingly. I didn't take him from you. He left LA a broken man and I've been putting him back together. He's found out a lot about himself over the last few months and he knows what he wants." She paused more for affect than anything else.  
  
"You know him as well as I do; he's not a man to be indecisive about his desires… he chose me, Kim. He chose me and Alfie, and when you see him again you'll understand why he made that decision."  
  
Laura left it at that and silently prepared the bed; taking the pillow and quilt, that smelt of Jack, with her to the couch. Okay she did want to steal him away… that part of him she needed right now, more than anything.  
  
Kim and Eddie went to bed and never spoke a word to each other until ten minutes after the light went out.  
  
"Eddie, he's not decisive about what he wants, at all. At least he never was with me… he put all that aside. Do you think he has changed that much?" But no answer came. Eddie had fallen asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.   
  
Kim lay in the darkness wondering what Jack might be, when or if he returned. All this time she wanted her Daddy back, but something was becoming very clear to her. He was gone. He wasn't the same man anymore and they didn't have the same lives… What would he be like when she saw him again? Would he still be her Dad, the way she knew him? Laura talked of him like he was a loving, affectionate and sharing man. He'd tried to be that with his daughter but never enough with his wife. Teri couldn't bring that out of him, even after eighteen years of marriage! As she drifted to a restless sleep, she wondered what power Laura had over her father. How could someone change another person like that?   
  
Her answer came all too easily. He wanted to change. He hated the man he was and he hated his life… He wants this and he wants her… one question remained.  
  
"Does he still want me?" 


	52. Chapter FiftyTwo

Eddie almost jumped out of his skin when the phone rang at six in the morning. The day his father died, he'd woken to the ringing of a phone and the news that changed his whole life; and each time it happened since then, he found himself fresh with grief.  
  
"Ed? Eddie, are you okay? It was just the phone; you look really pale… Ed?" Kim asked, stroking his chest as he lay staring at the cracks in the ceiling as Jack had done once before.  
  
"Huh? Kim! Yeah… I'm…" he shrugged his shoulders and turned his head to face her, while brushing his hand up his bare stomach to find her's on his smooth chest. "I'm okay, Kim. I was just a little startled. You should go and see if Laura has any news. I can't see anyone else calling at this hour…"  
  
"Would you go? She's probably still pissed at me." She said with a fake certainty.  
  
"Oh Kimmy, you can't keep acting like this with her… its obvious your Dad is in love with her…" Kim glared at him like he'd suggested she chop off her own arm or something.  
  
"Oh yeah; only from what she has said. I don't 'know' that he is so happy with her…" Without saying anything more Eddie reached away from her to the bedside table. She clearly hadn't noticed the small silver frame that sat there, with a passport sized photo in it.  
  
"Oh no?" he said handing it to her. Maybe it was a little insensitive but he couldn't have her go on like this. He could see it was hurting Laura to have to deal with it on top of everything else. Kim took the frame from his hand and stared at it, with an almost fearful look in her eyes. Her father was holding Laura close and Alfie was sitting on his knee, all squeezed into the photo booth outside the cinema. There was no doubt about it then. Jack had never looked so happy.  
  
"I just want my Dad back." Kim said, starting to cry. Eddie put his arms around her and let her drip silent tears onto his warm, musky smelling skin.  
  
Laura had picked up the receiver after only one ring. She was wide awake in moments of hearing that the detective wanted to speak to her.  
  
"Yes of course, put him through." She replied to the desk clerks request.  
  
"Hello, Ms Fletcher. I have some news for you." Laura's heart began to race, the detective sounded happy enough… it couldn't be bad news. "We just received some information about your son."  
  
"Is he okay? Have you found him? Did Marc turn himself in?" She said unable to hide her exhilaration.  
  
"We received news that Alfie is safe and that he could be with Sheriff Wagner and his wife in Charleston."  
  
"He's safe? Marc hasn't hurt him? How do you know… where did this information come from? Please detective…" Laura was beside herself.  
  
"Agent Bauer contacted us a few minutes ago…" Again Laura interrupted the exhausted officer.  
  
"Jack! Is he okay, where is he? Is he with Alfie…"  
  
"Ms Fletcher, Laura… please if you'll let me finish." Laura apologised for her over enthusiastic ramblings and let the detective present his evidence. "Agent Bauer, called us to say he found the place Marc had hidden Alfie for some time… he said that there were no sign of Alfie being hurt and that it looked as though Marc was taking care of him. He said that we should go and track down Sheriff Wagner's wife and that he is going there immediately."  
  
"Is he okay? Jack, I mean; he didn't sound ill or anything. He has a heart condition… I've been very worried about him…"  
  
"I didn't talk to him myself. The officer that did, said he noticed nothing strange. He seemed determined to find your son, despite the fact that he hasn't been reinstated with the federal government as yet."  
  
"What does that mean? Will he be in trouble for doing this? For searching for our son?"  
  
"Technically, he is acting alone. It is what we refer to as vigilante behaviour, but under the circumstances… he is a government officer… as long as he doesn't do anything stupid we can overlook the situation. The priority for all of us is to find little Alfie. If there is anymore information you can give us… anything you have remembered."  
  
"Alfie had his Spiderman with him…" Laura offered. It seemed a pointless bit of information to her, but they had asked her for anything that might be relevant.  
  
"Yes, that's how Agent Bauer found out he was there. Apparently Alfie had left him a clue or something… seems your son wants to be found as much as we want to find him." Laura smiled and felt proud that her son was remaining as resilient as ever. Tears of relief ran down her cheeks and the detective was concerned at her change in tone.  
  
"Ms Fletcher, are you okay? I'm sure it's just a matter of time now. Agent Bauer has been working very hard to find Alfie… he isn't going to give up and neither are we. You don't need to be scared now…"  
  
The bedroom door opened and Kim and Eddie walked out in their pyjamas to see what was going on. Laura swiped at the tears running down her cheeks and tried to smile.  
  
"Detective, is there anyway I can get in touch with Jack? He didn't take his cell phone, I think he has another… or something else that CTU can contact him with… but I don't know the number."  
  
"He called from a landline, so I couldn't say. Perhaps you could contact the head of CTU where he works… I believe the man in charge is called Almeida, if that helps." Eddie was waving for Laura to stop and talk to him.   
  
"Hold on a minute detective, one of Jack's colleagues is here and may have some information." She turned to Eddie and waited expectantly for a response. Kim's wounded expression, at seemingly being ignored in this situation; went completely unnoticed by all.  
  
"Jack is in his car, you could ask the local police to trace his registration…"  
  
"I asked them to do that Eddie; the detective said that it would require them putting out an APB on him, and that could put him and Alfie in danger if Marc were to find out."  
  
"I can call Tony, he might be able to work out a satellite trace… it would be more discreet and Marc wouldn't know we were following Jack." Laura gave the phone to Eddie, who seemed to be talking gibberish to her ears, and beckoned Kim over. The young woman sat beside her on the couch and gazed at a piece of fluff on her brushed cotton pyjamas.  
  
"The detective said that your Dad sounded okay." Kim looked up at the older woman and smiled. "He said he was going on ahead to find Alfie and bring him home."  
  
'Home.' Kim thought, 'where was that going to be from now on?'  
  
Eddie finished going over things with the detective and they arranged for CTU to be involved in tracing Jack's whereabouts; if only to keep him from getting himself into more trouble while he was effectively unemployed. Then he hung up and turned to see his girlfriend and Laura silently waiting for someone to intervene on their awkwardness.  
  
"Is it okay if I use the phone to call Tony?" He asked Laura politely. "I need to have him trace Jack's car, now that we know he is using it again." Laura nodded and smiled at them both to show her willingness to trace Jack together. While doing this she also noticed the photo frame still in Kim's hands. 'Time to try this bonding thing again', she thought to herself.  
  
"Does he look any different?" she asked, startling Kim from her reverie. Kim shrugged and let her finger trace over the image of her father. Images of the last day she had seen him sprang to mind… all that she could recall clearly was the sight of the star-shaped patterns on his chest. She didn't know where they had come from but she had looked at the rough black marks; burns or cuts, she wasn't sure… someone had hurt her Dad and someone else was about to do more than hurt him… she'd shot Kate Warner and killed her in a single deadly shot. Unfading images of that day were more likely to be of the blood drenched mess of a person that she sat beside for almost an hour, while she waited for the police to arrive… for Tony or Michelle… for her Dad to come back.  
  
"He wasn't well last time I saw him…" Kim began awkwardly. "He had lots of cuts on his body and he was real sick and pale looking." Laura understood what Kim was explaining. Jack still bore the scars of that day, those little star shaped pink marks on his stomach, and chest and hip had drew her attention too.  
  
"You need to talk to your Dad about that Kim. I'm sure there will be a lot to talk about when he comes home."  
  
There it was again… home. She looked down at the photo once more and smiled a little, at the big goofy grin her father wore as he looked like he was tickling Alfie, like he did when she was the boy's age.  
  
"Alfie is really cute, Laura." She offered in order to break the silence and show a little willing. Laura smiled and tilted the photo to look at it, without taking it from Kim. "You can take it, it's yours after all." Laura smiled and let go of the frame, ignoring the offer.  
  
"Do you have a picture?" she asked. Kim got up and went to her bag in the bedroom and retrieved her wallet. She handed an old battered looking picture to Laura. In it her father was trying to teach Teri how to play basketball, apparently Aunt Carol had taken it and kim was in the sidelines laughing. It was a real photo; not staged like many would be.   
  
It was a moment of happiness but now that Kim had them both to compare, she noted the irritation in her father's eyes as much as the thin smile on his lips. Many questions about who he was happier with, filled Kim's mind and she felt like she was shrinking into nothing now that his new love sitting only inches away from her. It felt like she was disappearing, being scrubbed away and replaced. She imagined being airbrushed out of the photo, out of his life…  
  
'Was that what Laura wanted?' Looking at her, it seemed not… but what was that quote she learnt at school… "There is nothing good or bad, but thinking makes it so." She was doing way too much thinking!  
  
"It was taken a few years ago. After Mom died… we didn't take photos anymore. I have all the family pictures in my room, at home… I don't think Dad could bear to look at them."  
  
"He has a picture of you and your Mom in his wallet… he still misses her you know… he'll never forget her, Kim. He'll always love her for what they had together and I wouldn't do anything to change that. I love him but we both had lives before we met." Kim nodded but didn't say anything, either positive or one of her usual attacks.  
  
"He is slimmer now, but his hair is longer I think." Laura offered the photo to Kim and with it a kind of unspoken amnesty between them… for the time being a least. Kim moved to give Laura the photo of the three of them on Jack's last birthday, but Laura shook her head.   
  
"You keep it if you want… if you want something more recent, I mean… I have another…" Then something important occurred to her. Alfie had one too. What if Marc knew about Jack and would go after him too? Jack was going to drawn into all this far more than he should be, without CTU support. Laura didn't want to destroy what ground she'd made with Kim just yet and consciously held back the information; deciding instead to tell Eddie while Kim was taking a shower.  
  
"I'll tell Tony and the detective in charge of the case. I'm sure Jack will be fine… Marc couldn't hurt him. Heck, even the Trojan army could only put a dent in Jack Bauer!" He laughed and she joined him, but it didn't free her from her doubts. Jack was impetuous sometimes. He'd bought her a bouquet of roses the day after she fell on the stairs; they still sat, a little worse for wear on the dresser beside the TV. He'd been a little over-enthusiastic about other things sometimes too. Where Laura was concerned, he couldn't do enough to please her. Knowing how much Alfie meant to her, he would go a long way to give her back her son. Laura's question now, was exactly how far? 


	53. Chapter FiftyThree

The detective arrived to go over things with Laura at eight and Eddie was once again involved in the arranging of protocols between this remote police department and the Los Angeles CTU. While he was feeling more a part of things, as a tech assistant come field agent, and a member of the family into the bargain; Kim was feeling distinctly left out. She knew she wasn't the most selfless person in the world… the only person she had gone out of her way for, in as long as she could remember, was her father. Though now she felt alone and out of place… worse than that, she felt irrelevant.  
  
"Laura, do you mind if I go for a walk? You don't need me here do you?" Kim asked, partly hoping that Laura might tell her otherwise.  
  
"No, if you want to go out… I think Eddie has a handle on things here… do you have your cell, in case… I can call if there is anymore news." Kim was already donning her fawn suede jacket and flicking her hair back from her face, in readiness to leave.  
  
"Eddie has the number… if anything comes up." Laura nodded and offered a generous smile which was met by little more than a raise of the young blonde's lips. "I'll see you later."  
  
Kim walked two blocks before she found a working phone booth. If she had turned the other way from the apartment she could have used the very booth Marc had been spying in just a few days earlier… if she had done that she may have found the scrap of paper tucked into the notice board above the phone. On it was an address that she wouldn't miss. Marc had found out about Jack Bauer himself. The address on the thin blue lined note paper was her own. Marc wasn't stopping at having revenge on Laura alone. Kim walked about half a mile before she found a phone and she was tired and cold when she heard the friendly voice on the other end of the receiver.  
  
"Hi Michelle." She said welcoming the familiar back into her heart. They had become close over the last month and since Tony and Michelle had let her stay with them, she and Michelle had become more like sisters than family of a colleague who had gone AWOL.   
  
"Hi Kim, How is it going? Eddie told me you arrived safely. I'm sorry to hear your Dad isn't there right now." Michelle always managed to state the obvious without being as insensitive as the rest of CTU. She was professional but understanding… such emotion was a rarity with anyone in that place.  
  
"I miss him Chelle, I thought we could have worked things out and all I have is her rubbing my nose in it about how close they are…"  
  
"Eddie told me you were finding it hard adjusting to things." Michelle said compassionately.  
  
"Why should I have to adjust anyway? He's my Dad; I shouldn't have to hear about him like he's just her boyfriend."  
  
"Kim, you need to calm down; your father still loves you. He just has some serious problems to deal with right now."  
  
"No she does. It's her son; Alfie is nothing to do with Dad." Kim almost shouted down the phone.  
  
"That's not how your Dad feels, Kim. I don't want to make this harder for you… Kim, I care about you. You are like a sister to me, you know!" She was trying really hard to keep this potentially painful situation turning nasty. "Jack loves Laura and however quick all this has happened… they want to be together; and I'm sorry honey but there is nothing you can do about that."  
  
There was something she could do. There was something she had done before, when she felt threatened. Michelle knew what the silence spoke of.  
  
"Don't even think like that Kim. This is different…" Kim remained silent while Michelle attempted to delve for a certainty that would persuade Kim to be rational. "I checked her background. Laura isn't Kate and she definitely isn't Nina Myers."  
  
"What if she can hide stuff?" Kim tried.  
  
"She couldn't hide stuff like that from three government agencies and the president himself." Kim gasped in surprise. "Yes Kim, President Palmer has been involved in finding your father since the day he left. Anything that CTU or the CIA have done to find him has been overseen by David Palmer. He has personally read the information we procured and couldn't find a bad word to say about her…"  
  
"She isn't so bloody perfect you know, Michelle. She is stubborn and selfish and she told me herself that I had no right to stand in the way of Dad's happiness…"  
  
"You don't!" Kim was shocked. Out of all the people she could talk to about this stuff she was sure Michelle would be there for her and take her side like she had done so many times before.   
  
"Jack has been grieving for over a year, Kim. He will never stop loving your Mom, but after all he's been through… don't you think he deserves a little happiness?"  
  
"I make him happy; I'd take care of him…" Kim said in an attempt to defend her feelings. Michelle made a noise that Kim couldn't decipher as a sigh or a laugh.  
  
Kim, you know that isn't what I mean. Your Dad needs more than a shoulder to cry on now… maybe Laura was that for him at first, but he needs more than just that to get over Teri's death."  
  
"He can't forget her, he really loved my Mom, and even after what happened with Nina… they were going to have another baby…" She trailed off remembering the conversation the she had with Laura about their plans for a family. Her father wanted to have a child with this woman… things were going too far.  
  
"He isn't trying to forget Teri, Kim. He's trying to forget the pain of losing her. He's trying to get on with his life, the way he should have done a long time ago. Look at what he has been through, Kim? All that he has to do everyday, he's faced with choices that a man shouldn't have to make. Can't you let him make the one choice that matters?"  
  
"To forget my Mom you mean?" Kim practically spat her response and even Michelle's patience was wearing thin.  
  
"No… to be able to love again. He was so lonely, Kim. He was in that apartment… when you went to work for the Matheson's, all alone everyday. They told him he couldn't work because they were scared he'd put all his energies into finding Nina and hurt himself more. They wouldn't even let him come into the office. He had nowhere to hide from the memories and no outlet to find a way to fix the mistakes. So he stayed in that dank apartment and cried himself to sleep nights. I know Kim, because I went to see him almost every weekend…"  
  
"So you are blaming me for going to work at the Matheson's…"  
  
"Don't be ridiculous, Kim! Not everything is about you. Both of you had to deal with your grief in your own way. No one can tell you how to do that… I was worried because Jack couldn't find his way."  
  
"I should have helped him…" Kim began, feeling to blame for everything all of a sudden. Michelle tried to find a delicate way of making her point; however much she tried, she knew it was going to hurt her young friend.  
  
"Kim, it wasn't you that he needed to be helped by. He needed to learn that he could get over what had happened; he needed to be loved and to love someone the way he loved Teri. He needed to fill the gap in his heart. You will always be his daughter and he'll always love you, but it wasn't that kind of love he had lost…"  
  
"I don't want Laura to replace my Mom… she is selfish and stubborn and…"  
  
"And a lot like Jack, by the sounds of things." Michelle finished. "Maybe she isn't perfect. We all make mistakes. I can't cook anything but Thai vegetables and Tony still loves me."  
  
"What if he doesn't need me anymore…what am I supposed to do, when all he wants is his new family…"  
  
"He needs you too, Kim. He wouldn't have called you if he didn't want you to be a part of things. Maybe it's just hard to put the pieces together after losing your mother. He knows you don't want someone to replace your Mom. Hell, he watched what happened last time he had a girlfriend."  
  
"Kate wasn't his girlfriend; he could never be with someone like that." Kim yelled. Michelle gasped in surprise at such a vehement outburst.  
  
"There you go again Kim… planning his life for him. You'll lose him if you keep pushing like that. If you think this is the same as with Kate you are very wrong."  
  
"But I never said it was; you brought it up!" Kim shouted.  
  
"Yeah and don't you ever forget that. Whether you like her or not, Laura has done nothing wrong. Even if they argue and are selfish about their desires or stubborn as hell… whatever happens, Jack chose that life and you can't change that."  
  
"You saying I have to stand by and watch as she treats him badly?" Kim asked a little calmer but still violently against Michelle's opinion.  
  
"I'm saying you shouldn't entertain the thoughts that may be entering your mind right now. If you hurt the woman he loves…" Michelle paused and thought twice about what she was going to say.   
  
"What? If I hurt her, what will happen?" Kim was hurting and felt betrayed by her confidante.   
  
"If you hurt her, you'll lose him and… I don't know if he could go through that again. You may find that bond between you broken beyond repair."  
  
Kim put down the phone without saying goodbye. To her, all she could feel, see or hear was trying to tell her that she had already lost her father. What did she have to lose by acting on her feelings anyway? Her world was in ruins and no one was around to help her through it… Jack had a new family to fight for and she was beginning to wonder why she was fighting to keep him at all, when he'd chosen them over her. What else did she have in the world that mattered? Maybe it was time for things to be out in the open and simple. What use was she to her father now he had 'her', anyway? 


	54. Chapter FiftyFour

Allison walked along the cold suburban street with her shoulders hunched forward and her face covered with a scarf. Admittedly it was a cold morning but it was only the third week of fall; this method of dress seemed a little excessive to Jack Bauer who had slouched down in the driving seat of his SUV, with the morning paper covering his stubble clad jaw and lower half of his face.  
  
She was alone and it looked as though she was heading for the shops, he couldn't risk pulling her aside in public, in case Marc was watching, but he didn't intend to just sit around doing nothing. There was something important he had to do while he still had the chance.  
  
He waited for Allison to walk a few hundred yards down the road and then followed and parked around the next corner. As expected she was going towards the grocery store he'd passed a few blocks down; this gave him a little time to himself and he took out a note book from his glove box and the fountain pen which had leaked dark green ink all over his shirt pocket. With a deep, slow sigh he closed his eyes a moment and then began to write.  
  
"Laura,  
  
I've been gone for almost four days and I miss you terribly. I never saw myself feeling this way… When I was a kid I never thought I'd have this kind of relationship. Teri wasn't… it wasn't this way when I was married. I kept secrets all the time and I don't think she ever really knew me, through no fault of her own. No matter how much she tried to get close to me I couldn't let her in. I couldn't let go of my secrets then… I couldn't trust myself to let her inside. You gave me a second chance on life and for that I'll always love you.  
  
I'm so sorry that I have let you down. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you and keep you safe and keep Alfie safe. I blame myself for letting my guard down and for being stupid enough to think walking away wouldn't have consequences. I love Kim. Please if anything happens to me… you have to make sure she understands that… I never meant to be such a disappointment to her and I never meant to be one to you. After all you did to help me… I'll get Alfie back for you… or I'll die trying.   
  
I can't work for CTU, they have to sort out some nonsense paperwork before I'm reinstated; but I don't have time to waste. I may have to do things… the kind of things I hoped I would never have to do again. I want you to know that I am responsible for my actions… I'm not drinking and I'm well, and apart from being crazy about you, I think I'd be classed as being of sound mind. I'll do anything to get our son home, Laura.  
  
I have to follow things up here now, but I needed to tell you that, me leaving wasn't because I couldn't cope with us. I wanted to say goodbye before I left and God knows I wanted to be by your side… but my life has never been about being on the sidelines. I couldn't sit back and wait. If anything happens to me… the time we had together has been the happiest I've been in my life and please don't ever forget that I love you with all my heart. I've talked to Tony Almeida about what could happen, and he has agreed to make sure that you and Alfie, as well as my daughter are taken care of in my absence.  
  
Forgive me for what I might have to do and for how I've left you alone in such a difficult time. If we can get through this, I'll never leave you again. That's a promise.  
  
Yours,   
  
Jack x."  
  
After a rushed look over the paper again, Jack put the note into an envelope and addressed it to his fiancée, then having glanced at the clock on his dashboard he threw both the envelope and the book into the glove box and started the engine.  
  
"Shit, why is time never on my side?" he spat into the empty, silent air, and looked over his shoulder to pull out of the parked cars and into the fast moving traffic.  
  
He drove slowly towards the store and his eyes speedily surveyed the sidewalk for Allison Wagner. There was no one around and he swerved his car into a parking bay at the last moment, ensuring a filthy look from the middle aged woman with three kids trying to get into his space.  
  
"You Loser!" she shouted out of her window at him as he climbed out of the car on the passenger side and clicked on the alarm. He tried to apologise, but her wrath was too much to be quashed by his words, however charmingly he spoke them.  
  
He found Allison in the store buying milk and painkillers; no sign of pop tarts or chocolate milk here then! He walked over and stood beside her. She was a slim and frail looking woman a little shorter than he was, but her stature wasn't doing her any favours. She looked easily twice the age he knew her to be and for a moment he wondered if he had the right woman.  
  
"Can I help you sir?" The sweet young cashier asked him with a rosy cheeked smile. Jack was startled from his thoughts and instinctively asked for a pack of cigarettes. "What brand sir?" she asked again. She had a cute smile and Jack found himself returning it as he answered her question.  
  
"Pack of Camels please and one of those disposable lighters" The girl turned around to get his goods but he stopped her in her tracks with a huskily delivered order.  
  
"Stop!" He said quickly, "You had better give me lighter fuel for this instead…" He wanted the fuel for use later but he was well aware that he was coming across as a bit of a loon. "I'll only lose those damn things… too light in my pocket." He flashed his shirt pocket in way of explanation and she smiled as she saw the ink stain on his chest.  
  
"Maybe some stain remover too, sir?" the young girl teased. He chuckled softly and chastised himself for being so ludicrously obvious in front of the woman who was meant to be the object of his discreet surveillance.   
  
"You know I have some hand cleaner that works real well on stains like that." Jack turned around hearing the woman next to him speak softly without facing him. He took in a sharp breath and looked down at her big, perpetually startled, looking eyes.   
  
"Really? Well that would come in handy; my wife goes crazy at me for this stuff." Undercover Jack was suave; he could always be so charming and assertive when he played at being someone else. He mocked out old cop shows in his mind and pretended he wasn't the same loser kid he was back in school or the weak man he felt he was for his family… he was tough and debonair and could charm the pants off anyone he wanted.   
  
He didn't want to be any of that anymore.  
  
"I… I can never remember what it's called though… I…" She was obviously cautious about telling this stranger too much. He had to make her feel more comfortable somehow. Heck, he was out of practice with this stuff.  
  
"Maybe I could give you my cell phone number; you could call and let me know what it is, when you get home…" He offered, while paying for his cigarettes and putting them in his jacket pocket. Allison looked up at him and smiled, he seemed genuine enough, and didn't have a cruel face… like…  
  
"I only live a few blocks away… you could walk back with me and…" Jack smiled gratefully. This was easier than his other option and seeing how frail she looked he knew he wouldn't be able to harm her. His professionalism remained and he suppressed his unnervingly natural instinct to force out the information he needed. Perhaps Laura was right after all. Given a little time and forethought… maybe there were other ways.  
  
"Well sure, can I help you with your bags?" Allison smiled at the cashier who in turn was giving her a knowing look. The older woman blushed at the inference that was being made by the young cashier's eyes and handed Jack the paper bag of milk and painkillers he'd seen her pick up and a few other things to keep her going.  
  
They walked silently out of the store and around the corner. Jack thought about taking the car and then decided that it might be more useful to have the extra time to talk. He passed by the woman that he'd cut up in the car park, and her three kids all scowled at him in unison. He walked on and pretended not to notice.  
  
"My name's Jack by the way." As he spoke he wondered if it might have been wise to give a false name but for some reason the situation seemed to demand honesty. Allison was too much like Laura, quiet and shy on first meeting and hiding something.  
  
"Allison." She said softly. "I am married." She added suddenly, as though giving her name was in some way, unwittingly enticing him to her bed or something. He smiled and flashed the ring on his left hand at her.   
  
"I love my wife, Allison; I'm not after anything other than this useful information you have for me." It was remarkably easy sometimes, to just tell the truth. So they made small talk for the two blocks home and then Allison led Jack into the back door of the Quaker style house that he had been watching since sometime after nine that morning until she left only a quarter after twelve.  
  
"So what does your husband do?" Jack asked. Trying to keep the jovial tone to his voice was difficult when talking about Marc, but he did his best. Allison took the note of distrust in the stranger's voice to be suspicion… it was a simple assumption for her to make, when her face was covered in bruises and grazes and her nose had been broken so many times that it looked like crazy paving, with all those scars.  
  
"He's a police officer, in town. He's very good and he takes care of us well." Jack nodded, and remembered all the domestic violence cases he'd seen back in the LAPD. His sergeant had taken him off rotation, during training and given him the final three months working on these cases. Sergeant Dorchester, thought Jack had the right beside manner for this kind of thing and he had spent hours and hours with battered wives and the odd husband; trying to act as a relationship councillor. He had no clue what to do and his own relationship was falling apart while he was working; just because he had a friendly and trustworthy face… God he hated this shit.  
  
"Allison, I have to tell you the truth…" Jack began in a clear and considerate voice. "I didn't come here for a stain remover… I knew who you were before I came into that store…"  
  
"Oh God, please… please don't hurt me?" She began to weep and Jack stumbled backwards into the kitchen door, he was so eager to show her that he wasn't there for that.  
  
"I don't want to hurt you, Allison. I need some information…"  
  
"I don't have any… I don't know anything. Please… please will you go now and leave me alone… my husband could be back any moment…"  
  
"Will he be bringing my son with him?" Jack said assertively. Allison's face went white and for the first time Jack could see her clearly. He reached forward and pulled the scarf from the left side of her face, very carefully. "Oh Jesus, Allison… look what he has done to you…"  
  
"He didn't do anything… I don't know what you are talking about… I… I fell… in the basement… I slipped on some spill or…" Jack sighed and shook his head.  
  
"Don't lie to me, Allison. I know what he did. Has Marc talked about his ex-girlfriend to you, at all? "  
  
"Laura?" she said sheepishly. "He talks about her. He hates her; said he would kill her if he could… she had a little boy…" Her voice sounded as though it were coming from far away… from somewhere that she had created to hide from the pain and the sadness that her once happy life had been consumed by.  
  
"His name is Alfie. I'm his father." Jack said, trying to calm Allison down and bring her back to the real world.  
  
"Marc wanted them to marry and adopt the little boy… Laura…"  
  
"Laura ran away from him because he was beating her, like he beats you. Allison, you have got to help me find my son." Jack felt desperate. He knew how trapped a woman in Allison's position could feel and he knew that getting her to trust him enough to protect her would be hard.  
  
"I can't… He'll kill me… we have to be a family now…" she began to shake and Jack knew things were getting out of his control; his own emotions were getting out of control.  
  
"Alfie isn't your family…"   
  
"He isn't yours either. His father died. Marc was friends with him, they worked together… he was looking after Laura like his friend wanted…" Allison was crying and sniffing and sobbing out the way things were… or the way she had been told that they were.  
  
"Yeah, he looked after her by beating her and breaking her son's fingers. Then he tried to have her branded an unfit mother so he could steal her son away… do you want to be the next one?"  
  
"He won't leave me… we have been through a lot… I lost my baby…" she wept and tried to pull away from Jack's strong grip on her arms.  
  
"Did he beat you then too? Allison I can help you… I know you don't want to live like this… You are a beautiful young woman. You deserve better than this bastard!" Allison was starting to soften by Jack's charm and generosity.  
  
"He'll kill me if I tell… I lost his baby and now he has to go and get Alfie and we have to be a family…"  
  
"Alfie is my son now. He isn't yours and he isn't Marc's. I'm going to marry Laura and adopt Alfie; and he's mine… I'll help you, but you have to tell me where Marc is keeping him. Please Allison… you lost your baby, don't let me lose mine too."  
  
The silence was deafening. A car sailed by in the street and the leaves rustled down the gutters and pavements, dancing as though the world were a much better place than it felt to either of them right then.  
  
"If he finds out…" Jack stroked her arm and tried his best to show her compassion and not let go of his own aggressive desperation. "He had him at the cabin, but they left. I told him that the police were looking for him and he went crazy… he is bringing Alfie to the new house interstate…"  
  
"Where is the house Allison? Please you have to help…"  
  
"I don't know, Jack!" She snapped back at him. "He won't tell me that kind of thing. He will come and get me when everything is settled; he said he h some unfinished business to deal with. Said he had to make sure no one would come after him…"  
  
Fear gripped Jack and he felt the chill in his blood turn to ice. He knew the unfinished business Marc had in mind. He knew that he had done it again… he'd gone the wrong way… followed his kid when he should have followed his wife.   
  
Nightmarish visions filled his head and he felt his chest begin to tighten.  
  
"I have to go. Thank you. I'll make sure you are safe. I'll have police officers here within the hour to protect you. If Marc contacts you again, make sure the information is forwarded to Agent Bauer, okay?" He was about to rush out the door and quickly spun on his heel and kissed Allison on the forehead.  
  
"Thank you, thank you; I won't let anything happen to you again… you don't have to worry. I'll take care of Marc once and for all." 


	55. Chapter FiftyFive

"Hello, Ms Fletcher?" said a thick southern accent from behind the apartment door. Laura put her eye up to the peephole but found it was too misted up to make out the caller's face. "I'm from the Huntington police department; need to talk with you about your TV appeal" Laura had been told someone would be calling about that soon, and she opened the door with a friendly but weary smile.  
  
Her generous expression didn't last very long as her eyes made out who the caller really was and he grabbed her around the chest, pointing his sidearm at her head. She hadn't actually seen this man in years and for a brief moment she hoped it wasn't really him and that all of this was some terrible mistake.  
  
"Laura!" Eddie shouted pulling out his gun. "Drop the weapon!" He commanded, without the forcefulness of a real field agent; like Ric Cortez and Chase Edmunds who were working at CTU when he left. Marc laughed.  
  
"Are you new to this, boy? I am the one with the hostage here; now unless you want me to put a bullet in both your skulls, I suggest you drop that gun. Don't want you having any little accidents now, do we?" Eddie began lowering the gun and Marc watched him carefully while he moved back and put it on the side table in the lounge room.   
  
"Now you sit right down there and maybe you'll get lucky." Marc drawled at the young man before him. "Now Laura, it's been a while hasn't it?" He stroked the cold steel barrel of his Berretta down her cheek and whispered into her ear. His breath was hot against her skin and and it made her feel filthy just smelling the liquor on his breath.  
  
"Marc, please? You don't want to do this…" she began to plead with him as tears rolled down her face.  
  
"You know exactly why I have to do this… you made this happen, bitch! This is all on you. If you had just gone along with things…"  
  
"I could never do that." She snapped. "I could never love someone like you."  
  
"Forget it." He replied gently. "I have a wife now; Alfie shall have a mother…"  
  
"I'm his mother!" she yelled trying to make eye contact, to press her point. Marc just chuckled softly to himself and twisted the cold steel in his hand against her temple.   
  
"Not for long, baby. You aren't anyone's anything… least nowhere but on a slab of marble… can Jacky boy afford a nice piece of marble for you, Laura… well can he?" Laura trembled and just the mention of Jack made her feel weaker. He was strong, he gave her his strength of heart and she could cope with anything…  
  
'God why isn't he here, when I need him most!' she thought.  
  
Kim returned from her walk at midday and she was all ready to go home, or go and wait at the police department for her father to return; that was before she saw the gun at Laura's head. The thick set man in a dark jacket could only be the Sheriff that she had spoken to a few days before. As he spoke to Laura in a hushed voice she recognised the jovial tone and felt a chill creep up her spine. She was walking into a nightmare; a nightmare of her own creation, and yet part of her was seeing this desperate scene, as the answer to her prayers.  
  
One shot and Laura would be gone. Eddie couldn't see her, though she could make out his pleading voice across the room. No one would know she had been there… no one would know she had a chance to turn the tables in order to save her father's lover. Jack would be sad for a while…  
  
"Leave Jack out of this; it's got nothing to do with him." Laura said assertively. Marc chuckled again and walked her forward into the lounge.  
  
"I'm not an idiot, Laura. I saw you with him. I saw you ask him to marry you… tell me, Laura what's he got that I don't have?" The list was endless.  
  
"He's a decent and gentle man and he loves me." Laura stated proudly. "He loves Alfie too. Jack won't let you get away with this, Marc. He'll kill you if you hurt me or our son." Marc was angry. In his twisted mind, Alfie was already his son… he was working on a kind of finders keepers logic, that was just nonsense to anyone else.  
  
"Yeah!" He smashed the butt of the gun against her face and cut into her right cheek brutally. "Well Jack Bauer isn't such a great man you know. If you think I'm being cruel… you should see the way he can hurt people… those agent friends of his, told me a lot… gentle? I think not… I think not." His tone was sly now and Laura knew it well… she knew it in her nightmares… it was the prologue to another.  
  
Kim was angry too. How dare this piece of crap, talk about her Daddy like that. Without much thought she picked up a plant stand from the hallway. The plant itself was pretty much dead already and she cast it aside to lift up a large porcelain vase with gaudy patterns all over it.   
  
Quietly she edged forward into the hallway behind Laura and her attacker.  
  
"Maybe you secretly like it this way, eh Laura? Like a little rough? Do you like it when Jack hurts you?" Marc slurred into her ear with hot breath.  
  
"Jack doesn't hurt me, he does things at work… he does what he has to do… he'd never hurt me… he's not a bastard like you are, Marc!" She spat at him and he edged back from her a little out of surprise at the venom she held.  
  
"You aren't frightened of me anymore are you, Laura honey?" She tried to pull away from him and Eddie took his chance and picked up his gun to take a shot. Marc was quick to react and shot at Eddie's head. If Laura hadn't have jerked against him at that very moment, Eddie would surely be dead now. The bullet pierced his shoulder and seemingly passed right through, but the blood… there was blood everywhere.  
  
"That's just the start, Laura. You don't want to know what I'm going to do with your boyfriend when I find him! You should be frightened of me, Laura. You should be terrified of me, with what I have in mind for you and lover boy."  
  
Crash! The vase came down across the back of Marc's head and shards of porcelain shattered into both Marc and Laura's necks. They fell as one and Laura narrowly missed a shot in the head herself as the gun in Marc's hand went off, blowing a hole in the wall beside them.  
  
"Kim!" Laura croaked from under the substantial weight of her assailant. We have to get out of here… help me… please?" Kim looked down at Laura and took on the appearance of a frightened rabbit. A part of her felt ashamed that she hadn't acted sooner to protect her future step mom; although Laura wasn't to know of this. Another part felt foolish for acting so quickly… here was a way out… a way back to her previous life and she had sacrificed it to do… the right thing. Was it the right thing? More to the point, could she ever find a way back?  
  
"Kim! I can't use my arm, Kim you are going to have to help Laura and take us down to the car so we can get to the police department. I can't protect the both of you like this and… it's not safe to stay here…" Eddie was taking charge and suddenly she had no time for her own quandaries… her life was in danger now too and whatever she thought of Laura, this wasn't the time for making more enemies.   
  
She stumbled forward and started to push the heavy lump away from Laura's back. Marc was a stocky and reasonably tall man and as such wasn't easy to shift. Kim struggled to drag him away and was aware of him beginning to come round as she did so. Eddie tried his best to help and called the police and the detective in charge of Alfie's disappearance to come down and hopefully arrest Marc and interrogate him.  
  
When Laura eventually struggled to her feet, Kim found herself feeling bad for her, as she watched the tears roll down her cheeks as she shook with fear. With as much thought as that which had led to Marc's demise; Kim put her arms around Laura and pulled her close.  
  
"It's okay now, Laura. We can get away and the police will come and arrest Marc and…"  
  
"And what about my son?" Laura snapped. What if he doesn't come round and no one else knows where my little boy may be… what if he's hurt him… oh God…" She couldn't even contemplate what else could have happened. Her hands were shaking and tears rushed from her eyes like they were overflowing faucets.  
  
"Dad, will find him, Laura." Kim stated as frankly and honestly as she could, she provided both the biggest relief and the worst fear.   
  
"I never meant to… I didn't want Jack to be drawn into all this… Kim, I'm sorry for the things Marc said… about your Dad." Suddenly things seemed to change for Kim. Letting Laura in wasn't simple, but she had noticed a few comments that could be built upon… maybe under the circumstances, she'd have the sense to walk away. Maybe her father wasn't completely lost to this woman.  
  
Eddie struggled towards the women Marc was stirring and Eddie knew they had to get away from him quickly. He ushered the two young women towards the door and tried to do what Jack would do in this situation. He should have tied Marc up, that was it… he should have got Kim to do it if necessary… he should have… oh no!  
  
As Eddie turned to realise his greatest mistake the gun in Marc's hand took an almost deadly shot into the young man's chest. He fell like a stone in water and managed a broken scream as he felt his heart race and blood begin to seep from the second bullet hole.  
  
Kim screamed too. Her voice was shrill and full of fear and regret at her own tardiness. Laura was almost out the door, and she tried to pull Kim out with her, but Kim Bauer's loyalties lay elsewhere and she didn't know Marc the way Laura did.  
  
"Eddie! Oh God Eddie…" She sobbed going to her boyfriend's side. Marc was struggling to his feet and his lucky shot had caused enough disarray for him to gain a little advantage. Laura was still there… just as he knew she would be… Jack was too important to her, for her to just leave his daughter at this villain's mercy.  
  
"Kim, you and Laura get out of here…" Eddie spluttered. "Kim, now… quick you have to go…" Kim was shaking her head and refusing to leave and Eddie was losing his vision and his consciousness… neither of them saw the next blow coming.  
  
Marc pointed the gun at Laura and then at Kim as he drew closer to her.  
  
"You keep quiet and she gets to live, one sound and I'll kill her, Laura… I know you don't want that…" He whispered into her ear. Laura was trying to be strong; and trying to make reasonable choices in this situation was ridiculous. Suddenly Jack's morals didn't seem quite so suspect. She backed out of the door as Marc told her to do and she didn't make a sound until she fell backwards over the discarded plant in the hallway.  
  
Kim swung round to see what it was… to see if someone had arrived to help them or if Marc had killed her father's lover and fulfilled her dreams and nightmares in one. Her eyes barely saw what was going on as she was smashed about the head by what looked like a broken shelf. She called out…she didn't even know what or who for, as she was lost in the haze, and fell over her boyfriend's bleeding body.  
  
Laura heard the younger woman's words and her heart filled with fear and hope in equal measures. How she wished it could be true… that he could be there... the words echoed in her head as Marc lead her out to his car with a gun pressed into her back. She wondered if she would ever live to see him or their children again.  
  
"Daddy, help me… please…"  
  
"Jack!" Laura sobbed as Marc pushed her into the car and slid into the driver's seat beside her. Her words barely made a sound and were hidden by the engine's ignition.   
  
"Oh God, Jack, please help us." 


	56. Chapter FiftySix

Jack almost spun the tan SUV as he sped around the corner towards their apartment. The drive back from Alison's home had been painfully slow and even his shortcuts and speeding had made little difference to the way his heart pounded in his chest. As he pulled up outside, he was sweating profusely and wasn't sure whether he was sick or just scared witless.  
  
He bounded up the three flights of stairs, his heartbeat mercilessly tightening his chest; and saw the signs of an attack immediately. There was blood on the floor, and broken glass which crunched under his feet as he turned to the splintered door. His pulse raced as he recognised his daughter's voice inside.  
  
"It was him, yes… Marc Wagner… he shot Eddie and I guess he must have…"  
  
"Kim!" Jack exclaimed as he felt waves of love and guilt for his daughter, wash over him.  
  
"Dad!" she shouted, leaving Eddie's side for the first time since she came round and the doctor arrived; so that she could hug her father again. "Oh Dad, thank God you are okay. Daddy, I missed you so much!" She started to sob on his shoulder as his mind was trying to make sense of all that had happened since he left the place less than a week before.  
  
"You cut your hair." He said when Kim finally stepped back to let him breathe. It was the most pathetic response he could imagine, in such a situation, but somehow everything else was too epic in proportion to begin to discuss it right away.  
  
"Yeah. You look tired, Dad and…" There was something else that looked different about her father as well. Maybe something more about him… something that she couldn't quite put her finger on. She gazed into his bloodshot eyes for a few moments; before reality drew him back into it's vice like clutches.  
  
"What happened here, Kim? You hurt your head, honey… how did you do that? Did Marc come here…" Then his panic manifested in a more negative way. Kim brushed her blonde hair from her face and tried to shrug off the inch and a half long gash across her skull. The doctor had dressed it and done what she could for Eddie. Now as they waited for the paramedics the room fell silent.  
  
"Eddie, Shit I thought I told you to take care of her! Why did you bring her here? Why did you let her get hurt like this… you were meant to look after my little girl and look…" He stopped shouting as he saw the seriousness of the young man's condition.  
  
"Jack… I'm sorry." Here he was, half-dead from protecting this man's daughter from a crazed gunman, being yelled at for not doing it better, and 'he' was sorry.  
  
"Dad, Eddie did all he could to help us. We'd probably all be dead if he…"  
  
"No Kim, you saved us…" Eddie croaked, with what looked like his final words. "I'm sorry I couldn't have stopped this Jack. I wanted to please you and…" Kim pushed her father out of the way and took Eddie's hand.  
  
"Hush, Ed. It's going to be okay. The paramedics will take you to hospital and you'll be fine… you just need a transfusion, you were lucky it didn't hit anything serious… I'll be here Eddie… I'll always be here…"  
  
"What the fuck!" Jack exploded. "I told you to take care of her, not to… What the hell is going on with you two? Kim you know I don't want you seeing someone like Eddie, it's too dangerous…" Jack was resorting to his fixed ideas of parenthood, as though he hadn't learnt anything over the last few months, and his daughter was none too impressed by his reaction.  
  
"How dare you!" Kim spat back at him. "How dare you preach to me when you gave no thought to how I felt before you shacked up with some slut?"  
  
Jack reacted before he had the chance to think or even the sense to control himself. He slapped his daughter across the face roughly, leaving a red mark over her left cheek. She clutched at her face and tears ran silently down her now burning skin.  
  
She wanted to tell the doctor to take them away to hospital and leave her father to his own problems. Only they weren't just his problems… they were hers too; and she was responsible for what had been brought upon them all, thanks to her stupid curiosity.  
  
For a few moments there was a complete stand off. As though the world had just stopped turning and they were left facing the consequences of their mistakes. Eddie was drifting in and out of consciousness and the doctor who lived down the hall and had seen the devastation, was trying her best to clam things down.  
  
"We'll deal with this later." Jack said as though she had embarrassed him in front of houseguests or something, rather than what had actually occurred that day.  
  
"No Dad, we won't. Eddie is my boyfriend and I love him. I'll date who I want to date and this really isn't the time for dictating rules to me. Given that your choice of girlfriend just left with her demented ex; I think your advice is at the very least, questionable."  
  
"Where's Laura?" He gasped suddenly realising that this wasn't just about he and Kim. How could he have not said something sooner? Where was his mind? He grabbed Kim's shoulders and shook her fiercely. "Where is Laura, Kim? Tell me what happened to her… tell me, Kim… please just tell me where she is."  
  
His anger had fallen away and something strange happened to her Dad. Tears rolled down his cheeks and he rocked back and forth on his folded knees; his hands clenched into fists and a trickle of blood running out from his gripped fingers as he batted at the tears that stung his face.  
  
"Daddy, it's okay." Kim put her arms delicately around her father's shoulders and tried to hold him still. "I'll be here for you, Dad."  
  
"Where is she?" He sobbed on to her soft and welcoming shoulder. "I need Laura. God Kim, tell me where she is… tell me she hasn't left me… I couldn't go on without her anymore… please Kim?"  
  
There was no denying her fears now. She had heard it from her father's lips… he loved Laura; just the way she had told her he did. He had let her into his heart and into his confidence and now…  
  
"I think Marc took her. He said he had plans for the both of you and that she should be afraid of him. He shot Eddie twice and he knocked me unconscious… Dad, please don't go away again… the guy wants to hurt you. Dad, I can't cope alone again."  
  
"He took her." Eddie croaked. "He dragged her out; I tried to reach for my gun…"  
  
Jack looked at Eddie still bleeding beside him. He was a good kid. He had no formal weapons training… fact was, Kim would probably have been more effective with a gun than him, but he had done his best. He had stayed to protect her even after the first bullet knocked him out for a while. He had done more than Jack managed, only a few months previously.  
  
"Was she hurt?" Eddie coughed and tried to take in a trembling breath. "He cut her face and hit her pretty hard but she was okay when they left."  
  
Jack didn't want to take on board the fear that his daughter had just instilled in his mind, but he had to ask.  
  
"He took her, right Eddie? He made her go with him?" Eddie even in his state knew what the guy was going through. He had always been enviably perceptive with Jack Bauer and this time was no different.  
  
"I couldn't see… real well; it look… looked like he threat… threatened to kill Kim… I think… I think that… Laura went with him so… so that we'd have a… chance."  
  
Jack nodded his gratitude to Eddie and stroked his fingers across the man's clammy face. His own face grew anxious and you could almost see the synapses firing in his brain as he tried to plan what to do next.  
  
He was lost, everything was going wrong and he tried hard not to wear it on his face. Kim and Eddie knew him well enough to figure at his resentment for them, and he had to look away from his daughter so that she wouldn't see how hurt he was and how difficult it was not to blame her.  
  
Everything seemed black now, to Jack Bauer and no matter how hard he searched in his mind; not a single glimmer of hope could be found. What was left, now that the remnants of his devastated life were lost? What did he have to go on for anymore and why was he fighting when everything fell apart in the end? 


	57. Chapter FiftySeven

The sun was setting over the hills and the room that Alfie Fletcher had been locked in all day was growing dark; which scared the little boy immensely since he couldn't reach the light pull and had been afraid of the dark ever since his father passed away. He talked in whispers to his scruffy teddy bear, Bilbo and rubbed his bare feet on the candlewick bedspread beneath them. It was cold in the room and with the sun all but gone; he was terrified of being left alone.  
  
"It's okay Bilbo; there is no need to be scared. Daddy will come and save us and he'll kick that mean Marc's butt and we…" But how could he try to reassure his inanimate friend when he couldn't reassure himself. He couldn't get out if he wanted to; the bathroom window had bars over it and there was only one panel of glass in the front wall of the motel room with shutters that Marc had firmly locked. Fact was though, that he wouldn't run. Marc had told him in no uncertain terms that if he tried to run away, he would never see his mother again.  
  
"You stay here and keep quiet or next time you see Mommy, will be in a box!"   
  
Alfie was terrified of Marc and at the same time defiant as hell. He'd kicked the man so many times and scratched his face, that Marc had given him sleeping tablets to shut him up. Now they had worn off and the reality was back, Alfie felt scared again. But an idea came to mind as he heard the faint sound of someone's cell-phone outside.  
  
He'd been trying to play it clever; play things like it were one of the cops and robbers games he played with Jack after school, before Mommy came home and told them to stop fooling around. He really missed Jack and was petrified about what could happen to his mother, all he could think of was being at home doing normal things and never, ever doing anything naughty again in his life; so that bad things like this never happened to his family again.  
  
He picked up the phone and rang the number that he knew off by heart. 768-555-6214.  
  
The police and paramedics had arrived at the apartment and Jack was trying to find out any further information about his girlfriend, while Kim stayed by Eddie's side and held his hand while the doctors tried to treat him. The phone ringing startled everyone and for a few moments no one even dared move.   
  
"Hello!" Jack said anxiously after three or four rings.  
  
"Daddy!" Alfie said with a joy in his voice that only a seven year old could still possess in a situation like this. "Is Mom okay? Will you come and get me now please?"  
  
"Alfie! Are you okay? You aren't hurt are you? Do you know where you are, is Mommy there?" Jack's questions came thick and fast and poor little Alfie didn't know what to respond to first.  
  
"I'm cold Daddy. Marc locked me in this room and he said he'd hurt Mommy if I tried to run away. Daddy I'm scared, it's real dark in here and I can't get out and the light is too tall for me."  
  
Jack's face grew worried, he'd put Alfie to bed a dozen times and every night he'd called out for him to leave the door ajar as he went away, back to his Mommy's side… where he should be now. He knew Alfie must be terrified of the dark alone, and being in a strange place with no family there to protect him… suddenly he had an idea.  
  
"Is it a motel room that you are in, Alfie?" The boy confirmed his thoughts. "Is there a little refrigerator in the room?"  
  
"Yeah, but there is only beer in it. I haven't had anything to eat all day, I'm so hungry Daddy, my tummy is growling like Bilbo." Jack chuckled almost silently and felt a pang of love for the boy who should very soon have been his son.  
  
"Well you mustn't drink any of that stuff Alfie. But you could get the little bottles of fizzy water and stuff. They don't taste very nice but it will keep you going until I get there, okay?"  
  
"There is a light on in the refrigerator Daddy, shall I put the stool by it and keep it open?" Jack smiled and let Alfie believe he'd figured out the little lighting problem on his own.  
  
"That's a great idea, Alfie. Now you won't be scared and you can have a look around for me and see if there are any ways of finding out the motel you are in. Did you notice what it was called?"  
  
"It has a big red sign on the roadside and is just down at the bottom of those big hills where people go walking and on picnics. The words are on the side so I can't read them… I'm sorry Daddy."  
  
"Jack!" Croaked Eddie behind him, causing him to spin round and lose his fond expression for his little boy, in order to wear the more common Jack appearance. A look of apprehension and foreboding with a resilience that Ghandi would have praised; had it not been for all the aggression which often followed.  
  
"I can trace the call… there is a laptop in my bag… Kim…" Kim rushed off and found the bag and followed the instructions to set up the trace, while Jack tried to dig for more information without scaring Alfie further.  
  
"Can you look around now Alfie? Is there anything out of the windows? Any road signs or even a diner or something?" Alfie went to lookout of the window and saw the diner across the street. People were going by outside and then there it was. Marc was back.  
  
"Daddy its Marc, he's come back, Daddy. What do I do? Jack, I'm scared… please I don't want to be here now, Please Daddy… don't let him hurt Mommy. He said he'd make her be in a box and oh no!"  
  
"Alfie!" Jack shouted. "Alfie be a brave boy for Daddy okay. I'll be there real soon… Alfie I won't let him hurt Mommy, I promise… Alfie don't put the phone down…"  
  
In the background Jack heard Alfie scream out for his Mommy and then faintly as though he'd imagined it, he heard Laura.  
  
"Laura!" Jack yelled down the phone. "Laura, baby hold on… I'm coming to find you… I'll find you sweetheart; I promise I'll be there…"  
  
But the phone cut out.  
  
"Shit!" Jack bellowed as he slammed down the receiver hard enough to break it. "Did we get the trace? Please Ed; don't tell me we lost it?" Eddie grit his teeth and Jack knew the answer before he spoke.  
  
"Shit, what the hell do I do now? He had them, he has my family somewhere and… we have to have something Ed, tell me you were close?"  
  
"Two mile radius… if you can match any details Alfie gave you to the maps…" Jack was rocking on his heels and closed his eyes tight to try and fit the details Alfie had mentioned to what he knew of the district. The time that had passed since Laura was taken meant that it had to be quite a distance away but not too far that Alfie had never been there before. He recognised the walking tracks and…  
  
"Dad, the police know the area better than you… maybe you should leave it to them and…"  
  
"Kim, I love Laura. You might not believe me or like her yourself, but I'm going to marry that woman and Alfie is going to be my son. If you think I can walk away from my own…" Then it dawned on him, who he was talking to. Preaching about walking away wasn't going to get Kim on side… he'd likely hurt her more. He cursed himself silently and looked away unable to meet the disappointment in her eyes.  
  
"I'm your daughter, Jack. I don't want to lose you like I lost Mom. I was your family first you know… or had that slipped your mind." 


	58. Chapter FiftyEight

It had taken a lot of time and much weeping and heartache to reach this point but now Jack finally knew what he had to say to his daughter. It seemed ridiculous to have spent so long figuring it all out when all that was needed was a single word… a single distinct emotion.  
  
"I'm sorry, Kim."  
  
Kim Bauer knew her father well; better than… almost anyone else it seemed. She knew it took a lot to say what he had just told her. It was far more than just a cheap fix apology. It was everything.   
  
Without uttering a single word of her own she let go of her boyfriend's hand and hugged her father; pulling him into her tight embrace and ruffling the hair at the back of his neck as she heard his breathing begin to falter and assumed that he was crying.  
  
Jack felt those welcome arms around him and closed his eyes, momentarily content. If only they could all be a family together, and that bastard Marc had never been around. Jack felt that now familiar twinge in his chest and began to step back from his daughter in order to get a little more air into his ever tightening airways.  
  
The effects of the torture, only months earlier could still be felt and Jack rubbed at the ache in his chest as Kim looked upon him with a newly anxious expression.  
  
"Dad is something wrong?" she said fearing his answer; whatever it might have been.  
  
"Kim I think you ought to go home. It's not safe you being here and Eddie has been seriously hurt. He should be with his family… your mother, Eddie…" Jack looked perturbed by his lack of recall for the woman's name. "Carla? Yes that's right… she was very friendly to me and seemed like a sweet lady… you should both get home to LA and away from all this… all this craziness."  
  
"Dad I'm not going anywhere. The doctor says Eddie isn't too sick and he'll be okay again with a transfusion and a few hours rest and…"  
  
"Kim, he has gunshot wounds. You don't just get up from a gunshot wound…" As Jack's eyes met with his daughter's, he saw that morning once again. Kate never got up, that's for sure; she didn't even move.  
  
"I know Dad!" she almost scolded him with her tone, and he felt himself feeling small to the strength she held. Her assertiveness and courage were inherited from him, but recently he felt as though he had lost those particular qualities. He'd gained what he thought of as better ones, in many ways… but now it was courage and strength he really needed and a new heart wouldn't go a miss either.  
  
"Jack, I will be okay… really I want to stay here and help you… I can help you trace the calls or follow up any new information or…" Eddie was hiding his pain admirably and Jack couldn't doubt the man's dedication to his job. What he did still doubt was his devotion to his daughter.  
  
"That's very good of you Ed, but I think the time for traces and reviewing the evidence is over. I'm going to find this hotel and I'm going to…"  
  
"Dad, I'm coming with you. Eddie and I… you need someone Daddy. You don't look so good. I really don't feel comfortable leaving you here like this."  
  
"I don't feel comfortable putting you in danger again… it's my fault Ed is in that state and my fault that you got that smash to your face… please go home Kim. Go and stay with Tony and Michelle. I know they will take care of you."  
  
Kim was angry. She was angry that her father wouldn't listen and yet again that he was still treating her like a child. Why couldn't he trust her judgement? Heck, look what Eddie had done for her… and still Jack wouldn't trust him. Yet she was just expected to fall into line where Laura was concerned!  
  
"Eddie was doing just fine… and it isn't your fault, when are you going to get it into that thick skull of yours that none of this is your fault? It was me that called Marc up; if anyone is to blame, it's me!"  
  
Jack saw yet another trait he'd bequeathed to his only biological child… his propensity for guilt and self-loathing. Maybe she was right; maybe Eddie wasn't so bad. After all he hadn't run away when a gun was pulled on Kim Bauer and on himself. Jack had.  
  
"Kim, honey I just want you to be safe. I hate that you have to be a part of this horrible world that CTU leads me to. I hate putting you at risk every time I go on a mission and now I don't even have to work to put you in danger. I'm just wrong Kim. Wrong for you, wrong for Alfie and wrong for Laura. I've brought her nightmares to life when all I really wanted, was to make her happy."  
  
"Dad, I love Eddie and I want to be with him. I don't care where he works or what he does. I'm proud of what he does and I'm so proud of you Dad. You are the strongest person I know and I feel lucky to be your daughter. I don't care what you do at the office or on those special missions. I just love you and I want us to be together again. I'm not leaving you again, Dad. That's not right."  
  
Jack didn't want to show the pain he was in. He knew it wouldn't be long before his breathing would be restricted in a serious way and he wanted to get out of that room before Kim saw what was really happening to him. She wouldn't let him go if she knew the strain on his heart, and he didn't want to hurt her by leaving in anger.  
  
"Dad, please just be happy for me. I know this is a shock… I didn't expect to fall for him… but I guess you never planned for things to happen with Laura either." Jack felt moisture begin to collect in the corner of his eye as he recalled her voice on the phone.  
  
"I can't let Laura down too. I can't let her be another in the list of mistakes… I promised her… I…"  
  
His breath was raspy and he coughed and wheezed like he'd smoked three packs of cigarettes consecutively. Then it started again and he felt his legs begin to grow weaker. He wasn't aware that he was slipping forwards or that his vision was beginning to turn to greyscale. He didn't have time to do more than reach his pills from his pocket and if a doctor hadn't have been present it may well have been curtains for Jack.  
  
Kim watched as her father lay back on the rug with a pillow behind his head and his fists clenched at his sides. 'Stubborn till the end' she thought to herself and then scolded her mind for even considering that he might not wake up.   
  
"Come on Dad, please, please wake up… please Dad for me… please don't leave me again." 


	59. Chapter FiftyNine

"Mommy! Mom, please don't be dead Mommy." Alfie whispered into his Laura's ear as Marc stalked around the motel room like a cat; or more convincingly like the rat about to be caught in a trap.  
  
Marc scowled at Alfie and told him to keep quiet. But the boy was persistent and stroked his mother's hand and face trying to make her wake up. Marc had hit her pretty hard for calling to Jack when he'd explicitly told her not to and Alfie was afraid she might never wake up again. He started to sob but no one paid him any heed. How did this man think he could even begin to be his father? He wasn't a patch on Jack.  
  
Kim pleaded with her father in almost exactly the same way her would-be brother was doing with his Mom, only twenty-five miles westwards. Luckily for her, Jack was in less of a state, thanks to having medics nearby. He took shallow breaths and rubbed at his aching chest as the doctor treated him.  
  
"Mr Bauer, you really ought to be in a hospital in this condition…"  
  
"I'll go wherever you want; once I have my fiancé and son back here with me." He croaked as he tried to get up from the battered old couch. Kim looked on worriedly as he pushed the medic out of the way and made an effort to get the police officer's attention. She felt hurt by his resolve to go after Laura in his condition. She had begun to understand that this relationship they had was real; but it didn't mean she was any happier about it.  
  
"Dad, let the officers do their work. They can find Laura and Alfie… you need to look after yourself."  
  
"Kim, I can look out for myself later; right now Laura needs me and I'm not going to let her down like I did you and your mother." He got up and reached for his jacket and the gun holster that had at some point been taken from him and hidden on the dresser where he might not notice.  
  
"Dad, if you go, there may not be a later for you at all. Please will you let the officers deal with this and go to hospital with me and Eddie?"  
  
"No Kim, and please do not ask me again. I love you honey, but you'll be safe here now. I have to go and…"  
  
"You aren't leaving me again, Dad. If you are going then I'm coming with you." Her resolve was as strong as his was, and he knew it. What he hadn't banked on, was Eddie's support too. He told Kim to get him another jacket from their room and forced himself through the immense pain and the dizziness brought on by the morphine, to get up and go along with them.  
  
"Ed, you can't come with me." Jack began, watching as the young man wrenched himself out of the chair and reached for his daughter's arm for support.  
  
"I might not be a lot of use, Jack; but if you can go out after them, when you should really be in a hospital, then so can I. You told me to stay with Kim and that's what I intend to do." He wanted to smile so that Jack knew he wasn't being aggressive despite his tone; but the older man seemed to understand his motivation fine without it.  
  
"And you know she won't stay here. She's as stubborn as you are, Jack."  
  
Jack watched Eddie find the strength to stand up straight and to begin to ignore the pain in his bound shoulder and ribs. Maybe he was strong enough to look after his daughter… more to the point; maybe she was strong enough now, to take care of herself.  
  
"Fine, but we are leaving now and if I find the motel; both of you stay in the car."  
  
* * * * *  
  
"Alfie…" Laura whispered. Marc had gone into the bathroom and she tried to coax her son out of the tearful slumber he had drifted into.  
  
"Mommy!" Alfie said relieved and happy to see her okay. She put a finger to his lips and hushed him before Marc overheard their whispers.  
  
"What did you tell, Jack? Is he okay?" Alfie smiled broadly and nodded.  
  
"He was sad for us, Mom. He helped me find a light and something to drink and then I told him what the room was like and where we are… by the diner on the hills… and he said he would come to get us… he said he loved us and he'd come and find us real soon."  
  
Laura was relieved that Jack had returned and that Marc hadn't harmed him like he said he would.  
  
"Was Kim okay, and her boyfriend… did Jack say anything about them?" Alfie shrugged and shook his head sadly.  
  
"I'm sorry Mommy, Jack didn't say anything about anyone else… he just wanted you and…" her little boy's words drifted off as she considered how scared Jack must be, having to deal with all of this again. Somehow she thought she'd be able to talk Marc down or convince him that she would play along… at least until Jack or the police found them. Though her worries for Jack were becoming stronger and she was terrified that he wouldn't have any pills, should he have another attack.  
  
"Daddy said he'd come right away. He is still my Daddy now isn't he, Mom? You are being loving again, aren't you? I don't want to have a horrible Daddy like Marc…"  
  
"What are you telling him, bitch!" Marc shouted and Laura tried to hold her son out of the way, knowing how aggressive Marc could be.   
  
"Leave my son alone, Marc and don't you dare touch me again or…"  
  
"Or what Laura? Jack will come and slap me around? He isn't going to touch me with his precious little boy so close at hand. He won't lay a finger on me… he probably won't even bother coming to look for you… he has his real kid to look after. Do you really believe he will put himself at risk for a slut like you?"  
  
"Don't you call my Mommy those names, you scumbag. My Daddy is going to come here and he's going to kick your ass!" Alfie yelled and tried to kick Marc himself.  
  
"Alfie, no honey… please?" She clung to her son, but Marc was only provoked further by the little boy's defiance. He grabbed Alfie and threw him into the bathroom and slammed the door.   
  
"No! Marc please? Marc… oh God don't hurt him… please Marc… please don't hurt my son." Laura begged and pulled at her ex-boyfriend's arm. "Please Marc, I'll do anything, please just don't hurt Alfie."  
  
Marc smiled and kicked the door, yelling at Alfie to shut his mouth or Mommy would be in a box when he came out. Once the kid was quiet Marc moved towards Laura as she sobbed and cowered into the pillows.  
  
"You'll do anything, will you?" Marc said as he sat down carefully beside the sobbing woman. "What will you do for me Laura? You know I've missed you quite a lot… I really did love you once you know. You shouldn't have run from me… we could have been good together… we could have been happy and…" Laura looked up into his eyes as he moved close enough for her to feel his hot breath on her face.  
  
"You want to make me happy again, Laura? Do you want me to be nice to you… real nice?" He stroked the hair from her sticky, tear stained cheeks. "You are so much more beautiful when you cry… I don't like defiant women, Laura honey. I liked you when you did as I asked… when I didn't have to ask… you want to do something for me now Laura honey… you want to make me happy now?"  
  
Laura felt herself shrivel inside. How could he be asking her this? Did he really believe that she could be with him after all that he'd done to her… after all he'd done to Alfie… did he really think…?  
  
"Just please don't hurt my little boy, please Marc. I'm begging you…"  
  
Marc grinned evilly. This was a perk he hadn't expected. He didn't want her… he knew he couldn't trust her and that she was just trying to buy some time. He was just intrigued to see how far she was willing to go.  
  
"Oh Laura, you know I love it when you beg. It makes me feel all warm inside… warm and tingly and… oh Laura honey… I've missed your beautiful hands… I…" His hand moved over her hip and stroked up to cup her left breast, pinching at her nipple beneath the thin white blouse.  
  
She was shaking and her face couldn't hide the fear and disgust she felt mingling inside. She hated this man, more than she'd ever hated anyone.   
  
"I'll bet Jack doesn't touch you like this, does he? Or does he? Maybe you like it rough… Jack's a tough guy… is he tough with you too Laura?"  
  
Marc was pushing her to the edge. He was beginning to think he'd let him rape her if it meant she'd buy time for her son. Though he had to test her, he had to remind her of what she was leaving behind… who she was betraying. It was too much.  
  
"Jack would never hurt me. Jack loves me and he would never lay a finger on me… he…" Marc just laughed.  
  
"No, he would never hurt you; and you have just been playing with me, haven't you, Laura? That hurts my feelings Laura… I don't like it when a girl plays with me… least not like that."  
  
He moved a little closer and Laura slunk backwards, trying to get away from him. She knew what he was capable of, and she knew the risk she had taken in trying to deceive him. Now she would undoubtedly feel his wrath.  
  
"Are you going to tell me you are sorry now, sweetheart? Are you going to try and tell me that you love me, so I don't hurt those precious boys in your life? How far will you go to stop me hurting Alfie, Laura? What will you do to stop me blowing that precious boyfriend's brains out the moment he comes through that door?"  
  
"Please… please Marc… I'll do anything to you… I won't lie… I'll do what you want… just please, leave Alfie alone and don't hurt my Jack… please Marc… Oh God please…"  
  
Marc gripped Laura's arms tightly and twisted her over onto her back. Straddling her hips, he began to unbutton his belt buckle and pants. Then as Laura's face grew white and she couldn't even bear to look in his direction he sat back and laughed.  
  
"I don't want you, bitch! I didn't come here for you… I came here for my son… and I intend to take him too."  
  
"No!" Laura screamed. "No please… Marc don't take him away from me… Marc… please?"  
  
"You going to stop me Laura?" She tried to get up but most of his substantial bulk was resting on her lower legs. As she pulled herself up he planted a firm hand on her chest and shoved her hard against the wooden headboard… so hard in fact that the wood splintered down the middle and the whole bed creaked.  
  
"Marc, please you aren't like this… this isn't you… I remember when we first started dating… you were a good man, you took care of me and Alfie." Again her words were met with one of his menacing laughs and he ran a chubby finger under his eye as a tear formed in it's corner.  
  
"Well that's good to hear, Laura. Now I know that you won't be too afraid of how I'll take care or your… my son."  
  
"He's not your son, you bastard!" She screamed once again trying to sit up or push him off her. "He's mine and Jack's and he'll never be…"  
  
Then the fist met with her stomach and winded her so badly she could barely breathe let alone speak.  
  
"Mommy!" Alfie screamed from the bathroom. Laura tried to call to her son; to calm him but the words came out in no more than a whisper. "Mom, I love you Mom. Hold on Mommy, Daddy will be here…"  
  
That was the last thing Laura heard her son say; as a second blow went to her head and splintered her nose and cheek bones. The third and fourth battered at her face and neck and Marc seemed to want to make sure she never came round this time.   
  
Alfie screamed and wailed to hear his mother's voice. He screamed even more when he witnessed the bloody mess that seeped into the cheap motel room mattress. Marc couldn't stop his yells and as he dragged him out to the car, he had no choice but to clasp a meaty hand over the boy's mouth and throw him under his arm. People were watching; the motel proprietor was coming his way and he cast Alfie onto the bench seat of the station wagon and started the engine before the old man made it to where he was parked.  
  
"What's going on here? What's wrong with the kid, mister? Hey!"  
  
"I'm a police officer, I have to take the boy into care… his mother was abusing him and he… he is too young to understand…"  
  
"He hurt my Mommy. He's not my Daddy, he's a bad man and he hurt my Mommy…" Marc shook his head sorrowfully and made to drive away.  
  
"The poor kid, he doesn't see what is real… You go back inside… some officers will be here soon to arrest the woman and…"  
  
The proprietor had no more chance to speak as the car sped off leaving a trail of dust behind him. He called it in; whatever this guy said… that kid was screaming for a reason and he didn't buy the so called cop's story for a second.  
  
When Jack heard the static on his radio and the crackled voice reporting the story he became almost paralysed with fear. His SUV swerved into the ditch beside the road and his face grew pale and his chest tightened up like a vice was gripping his heart with giant metal teeth. Kim took control of the wheel before any further damage was done, but Jack was shivering.  
  
"I can't lose her… oh God; I can't lose her again…" 


	60. Chapter Sixty

"Jack!" Eddie leant forward and tried to shake his mentor from the silence which had consumed him. Kim was looking on desperately, unable to find the right words, when rapidly repeated "Dads!" were failing. "Come on Jack, get it together man. They need you… Laura and Alfie… they need you to be strong. The doctors are on their way and Marc can't have got far… the state police…"  
  
"I can't…" Jack said in little more than a whisper. "I can't do this again… oh God! Not again… not like this… I can't keep going… not without…" His rambling trailed off into nothing as he stared blankly at the radio scanner which had brought him such devastating news.  
  
"APB on Sheriff Wagner…. last seen fifteen miles west of Huntington heading towards Coal Grove. Officer is reported to have taken a young boy with him. Information suggests it is Alfie Fletcher, the child reported missing several days ago."  
  
Kim listened as the static gave way to yet another announcement. How had all this happened? How did things get so complicated and messy? How had she managed to destroy her father's life by making a single phone call?  
  
"Suspect should be considered armed and dangerous. Car 49 to go to Millshaw motel and diner…. the paramedics have been dispatched for the boy's mother."  
  
Jack clutched at his chest and Kim instinctively reached for her father's medication. The pills tumbled out across the seat as her fingers tremble and struggled to remove the cap.   
  
"Dad, you have to take these… Dad, listen to me… please… Daddy, you have to…"  
  
"Why?" Jack screamed back at his daughter, who slumped back in shock. "What's the fucking point? I've done it again. I can't get anything right. I can't protect anyone…"  
  
"Jack!" Eddie hollered from the back seat; his voice, shrill in the older man's ear. "Take the goddamned pills and start this car before it gets too late…" Jack struggled to take a breath and his hands shook like a leaf in a gale as he reached to take the pills from his daughter's hand. Silently he sat back and let the chalky white pills leave a residue in the back of his throat.  
  
"Jack, we need to go to the motel now. Either start the car or get out of the way and let Kim drive… I certainly can't do it and we need to move now!"  
  
The car shunted forward out of the ditch and dirt flew out in a slurry, as the SUV sped onto the hot tarmac before flying off towards the Millshaw Motel at a rate of knots.  
  
Jack knew that he'd have killed himself… or more to the point, let himself die; had his daughter and Eddie not been with him. For the first time in his life he realised that he couldn't do this work alone. It was so hard to stand up and face the odds, even harder when you did it single-handedly. It wasn't enough to fight for a cause anymore; he had to start fighting for himself.  
  
Kim wasn't quick enough to follow her father as he rushed into the taped-off motel room and saw his fiancée for the first time in over a week. Only this was far from how he'd imagined finding her on his return. The bloody mess that lay on the gurney was almost unrecognisable. His mouth fell open as the paramedic moved from her side and he saw her battered visage.  
  
"Laura! Oh my God. Baby, I'm so sorry… I…" he went to her side and the medic asked him what he was doing in there and who the hell he was. He flashed his badge instinctively and never looked away from her face.   
  
"Jack…" She tried to smile but the pain was overwhelming. "I… Alfie… I tried to stop him…" Jack clung to her bloody fingers with both hands and tears rolled unbidden down his now alabaster complexion.  
  
"Its okay baby, I spoke to Marc's wife… I'm sure he doesn't want to hurt Alfie and I'll go and find him… Laura, I won't let you down." He turned to the medic who was trying to clean up and treat her wounds. "How badly is she hurt?"  
  
"It looks worse than it is; we need to take her into the hospital as she may have internal bleeding and I suspect that one or more of her ribs are broken; but the morphine will ease her pain…" Looking awkwardly at Laura, the doctor pulled Jack aside. "We are concerned by the way her clothes have been torn… I don't want to worry you sir, but she may have been sexually abused."  
  
Kim was at her father's side and automatically took his hand. His breath caught in his throat and he didn't know how to react. His instinct was to rush out and put a bullet in Marc's head but he knew he couldn't leave Laura like this; his strength had to find a different way to manifest itself.  
  
"Does she know? She lost consciousness… would he have done that to her…" He couldn't even bring himself to say the words. The thought of leaving Laura to be hurt like that filled him with guilt. Things were starting to feel very familiar.  
  
"She says that he stopped… that he was trying to rape her… or to force her into it. Though she made him angry and he stopped and beat her instead. We will need to do tests to see if she was interfered with…after…"  
  
"Can you do those here?" He desperately needed to know the extent of both the physical and emotional damage his fiancée had suffered. Agent Bauer was back, and not knowing the full story wasn't an option. The added difficulty here was that he could no longer shut off his emotions. If Marc had raped his wife-to-be, he wouldn't just let him die quickly. Marc Wagner would truly know the meaning of pain before he was finally allowed to die.   
  
"Sir, I can do the tests now; it will take a few minutes to test for any sperm present, but we really do need to get your girlfriend to hospital…"  
  
"No!" Laura snapped. "Not without my son… I'm not going away from them again… ever… I don't care about the pain…. I can't live without my son. I don't want to." Jack looked at the medics and his resolve was unalterable.   
  
"Do the tests here and fix her up the best you can. She is not leaving my sight until my family are all safe and that piece of shit is behind bars or in the ground!" He held his girl's hand and bent to stroke her hair and whisper in her ear, that he loved her and he'd never leave her again.  
  
The doctor asked everyone but Jack and a nurse to leave the room while she did swab tests on Laura and began to make at least temporary repairs to her body. Most of the damage was on the surface and to her face and upper torso. Cuts left by Marc's signet ring were photographed, and the injuries were all chronicled before they were dressed or stitched. By the time every open wound was repaired the test results were ready and Jack was too scared to even look as the nurse handed over the swabs.  
  
"There is no sign there, but this test has come up positive…"  
  
"What? What are you saying, tell me…" The chemicals and anaesthetics used to sterilise and treat Laura had caused her to lose consciousness again and Jack felt very alone and petrified to hear what the doctor had discovered.  
  
"There is no sign of interference internally and our test for sperm has found nothing. Laura was correct. It seems the attack wasn't sexually motivated."  
  
"Then what did you mean? I heard you say it was positive. What is positive? Does she have a disease or something… is she sick?"  
  
"No, Mr Bauer. The test result you overheard wasn't for STD's or anything untoward… your fiancée is pregnant." He froze and for a second he couldn't quite believe what he had heard at all. He had begun to imagine all manner of terrible things that could have been consequence of this horrifying attack… and now…  
  
"It's mine?" he said with a trembling lower lip and wide moist eyes.  
  
"Well it isn't due to anything that happened today. It's likely that conception took place ten days to a fortnight ago. Would that fit with how you remember things, Mr Bauer?"  
  
He nodded and swallowed back the desperate heaves of tearful relief that threatened to overwhelm him.  
  
"But the attack… Is she likely to miscarry? She didn't know already, did she?" The doctor shook her head.   
  
"As I said Mr Bauer, your fiancée needs to be in hospital. Thorough tests can be made and her condition properly assessed. Please will you reconsider… I appreciate that you need to find your son… but Laura could be under police supervision at all times…"  
  
"The man who did this to her, was Sheriff of Charleston… Laura is not leaving my sight. None of my family is leaving me until I know that he is behind bars for all of this."  
  
Kim watched as her father completely ignored the medics once again and took matters into his own hands… quite literally this time, as he carefully lifted Laura into his arms and took her to his car.   
  
"Dad!" Kim said running along beside him. "Dad, have you gone completely crazy? You can't do this. Laura… Eddie and you too… you should all be in a hospital. Why don't you ever listen to me?"  
  
Jack wasn't going to make the mistake of leaving anyone behind ever again. The only people he trusted were in that car and back in the Los Angeles unit. Maybe he was crazy, but he'd lost his wife and child once. Fate had given him a second chance; this time he wasn't letting anyone go, whether it seemed senseless or not. 


	61. Chapter SixtyOne

The dusty trail stretched out before them and Marc knew to keep to the quieter roads, in order to avoid detection. He had been on the other end of these hunts for many years and it gave him more than enough of a head start, knowing how the other guy thought. He had planned every detail to perfection and the abduction would have been a simple one, if it weren't for one grievous miscalculation. Marc didn't truly believe that a man like Bauer could seriously care for Laura and Alfie. He had looked into Jack's background as far as he could, and knew he shouldn't mess with a man who had worked on dozens of Counter terrorist missions and special operations around the world. If it came to a showdown between them, Marc had no doubt who would come out the winner; in a fair fight at least.  
  
What he hadn't considered was the fact that there was a lot more to Jack Bauer Jnr, than his prestigious recruitment file professed. Not much was mentioned in the file about Jack's emotional background. 'Wife; Teri Bauer – deceased.' Suggested that maybe it wasn't all a bed of roses; but if anything that information just reassured Marc further. A widower of such standing would not have an interest in some nobody like Laura May Fletcher. What could a simple waitress offer a man like Jack?  
  
"My Daddy is going to kick your scrawny ass!" Alfie spat across the bench seat of the station wagon. Marc scowled at the little boy. There was a time when the two of them got along and were quite close… Marc hoped they could be again. But it was becoming more and more obvious that the kid had too much of his mother in him to just play along with the manipulation involved in this abduction.  
  
"You haven't got a Daddy, kid! Your Daddy died when you were a little baby and he asked me to take care of you and your Mom." Marc turned off to the left and cast a glance at the road behind him. He had thought a car had been following them but instead of following towards the forest, it continued on; much to Marc's relief.   
  
"Now your Mom doesn't seem to want me to look after her, but I promised your father, see?" He fixed Alfie with a firm cold stare.   
  
"Now I'd be a bad man if I didn't keep that promise, wouldn't I? I don't think your father would like that your slut of a mother is screwing around with some new guy when he asked me to take care of her…" Alfie cringed as Marc used those bad words and started to back away from him as far as he could go. It was going to be hard to convince the little boy, but Marc wasn't about to give up on his only chance of being a father just yet.   
  
"I was just teaching her a lesson… looking after her interests… she isn't a good Mommy to you if she takes up with some guy in her apartment block at the drop of a hat, now is she?" Alfie frowned.  
  
"Jack loves Mommy, he looks after her now. He's my Daddy and he would never hurt us like you do. My real Daddy never asked you to hurt us; you are a bad man and I hate you!"  
  
Marc laughed menacingly and stopped the car next to a small grove of trees. Turning off the engine, he turned to his seven year old passenger and grimaced.  
  
"Well you'll get over it, kiddo. Your Mom is probably dead and even if this Bauer does love her… do you think he really wanted to date a chick with a kid anyway. He wants to have fun… you can't have fun with a little kid hanging around."   
  
Alfie started to cry again with full force. He'd caught only a glimpse of his Mom as he was dragged out of the motel, but what he'd seen would give him nightmares for the rest of his life. He had learnt to be strong emotionally. It was a trait he obviously picked up from his mother and he knew that what Marc was saying was a pack of lies… but what if there was some truth in it? His Mommy had made him go to bed sometimes if Jack was there, when they would usually stay up watching TV. She'd locked her bedroom door at night too… although he was sensible enough to see Marc for what he was; Alfie was worried that maybe some of it was true.  
  
"Tell me Alfie, has Jack ever told you to go to bed when he and your Mommy have been kissing?" Marc sneered once he noticed the doubt in Alfie's mind. "Does he tell you to go away when you come knocking on the door in the morning?"  
  
Strangely, what Marc thought of as a deal clincher was actually the reassurance Alfie needed. The little boy smiled proudly and even pushed his face out aggressively as he answered Marc.  
  
"No, he hasn't. He let me in and I sat on the bed and we had tea and… Jack is going to have a wedding with Mommy and then he is going to be my Daddy and he does love me. Jack is my Daddy and you are just a mean horrible man!"  
  
The slap stung Alfie's face and the hit was so hard that he was slammed back against the upholstery viciously. But this time the pain wasn't followed by tears. Alfie saw his moment and took the nail file from his pocket, without further thought he jumped forward and dashed the tiny blade across Marc's face.  
  
"You little shit!" Marc screeched as blood began to leak from the wound and run down his neck. Alfie took his chance and grabbed the car keys, like he'd seen in a cop show once, then ran out into the woods.  
  
"I'm going to kill you. Kid! Just wait till I get my hands on you!" Marc yelled as he stepped out of the car still mopping at the cut on his face with an old rag from the glove box.  
  
"No one is going to be your Daddy when you are dead!" 


	62. Chapter SixtyTwo

Kim was still trying to dissuade her father from taking everyone he held dear to him into yet another minefield of calamity; but Jack was having none of it.  
  
"Kimberly, shut up and get in the car!" Jack had suppressed his anger long enough and one more word and she'd bare its brunt for sure. "I've made my decision and I'm in charge; so get in the car and help look after your boyfriend before he bleeds all over my upholstery."  
  
Kim huffed and climbed in beside Eddie. It was only a little thing, but the fact that she'd been immediately relegated to the back seat like a five-year-old, hadn't impressed her either.  
  
"Fine! Have another heart attack if that's what you want!" Laura looked at him with alarm, and he patted her hand to appease her a little longer.  
  
"It's just been a rough day. We'll get Alfie and go to the hospital together, I have pills and I promise I'll be careful…" Laura didn't look any less concerned but didn't try to stop Jack from doing, what she didn't have the power to do alone.  
  
Kim watched and hugged Eddie close to her defensively. It didn't matter whose fault all this was… her boyfriend and her father should be in the hospital; there had been so many times in the past, when Jack had gone against instructions that would save his life and now wasn't the time to be adding to that list.  
  
"Agent Bauer?" Said a stocky well-groomed officer through Jack's rolled down window. Jack flashed his badge and waited expectantly for any further news.  
  
"Yes what is it? Have your officers stopped him?" Laura winced as she leant across to hear what the officer had to tell them.  
  
"One of our plain clothes detectives has followed them; they turned off towards a warehouse two miles south of Coal Grove. He has ordered our department up to survey the area before they send anyone in for your son."  
  
"Is Alfie okay? Marc hasn't hurt him has he?" Laura asked with a trembling voice. Jack noted the look in the officer's eyes and silently willed him not to go into too much detail. Thankfully, not all Huntington's officer's were as inexperienced as the two sent to watch Laura's apartment. The guy kept his mouth shut.  
  
"The detective couldn't see much Ms Fletcher. From what he could tell Alfie was conscious and Marc had to keep him from prising the door open. Your son wants to get away from Wagner, very much, Ms Fletcher… we just need a safe opportunity to help him do that."  
  
Jack nodded and smiled at the guy in return for his discretion.   
  
"I'll just be a few minutes then I'd like you to show me the aerial maps of the area and what your plans are for extraction."  
  
"Of course Mr Bauer, I'll sort it out with my men immediately. Detective Anisman said for you to take charge of operations, sir. If you are up to it?"  
  
Silently Kim willed her father to say no, but she knew it was as pointless to wish as it would have been to continue telling him to do so. When he dismissed the option quicker than an extra insurance premium, she felt she had to speak up.  
  
"Dad, why don't you listen to the man… you can't do all this on your own… we should go to the hospital. I want you to come home." Jack turned round quickly and the venom in his eyes could barely be held back.  
  
"What good is home going to do me, without my son, Kim? Tell me what point there is in going home when there is absolutely nothing there for me? Everything that matters to me is in this car and I have to protect that. I can do my job Kim and I'd like you to stop interfering, we are wasting valuable time."  
  
With that he got out of the car and followed Officer Cartwright to his squad car. Eddie knew there was going to be a ruckus and tried all he could to placate Kim before she went crazy.  
  
"Why don't you tell him to go to the hospital, Laura? I guess getting your kid back is more important than your boyfriend's life." Kim spoke as though the 'boyfriend' were meant more as a transitory plaything than a serious lover. Laura had too much on her mind to deal with the girl's pettiness; even if it were her lover's daughter. If Jack had no time to listen to her complaints then neither did she.  
  
"Look Kim, I'm worried about Jack's health too. I have been for sometime. But as you surely know, you're father always thinks he knows best and he's as stubborn as a mule when he wants to be. I want my son back and I'd do anything for that to happen… the same way I'd do anything to help Jack, if it were you in Alfie's place."  
  
"Come on Kim, just leave it now. Laura is right; you aren't going to convince Jack to change his mind now."  
  
"Oh and what would you know? Both of you think it's so great that Jack cares for you. He's my Dad! I don't want him to die." Laura put her own feelings aside and tried to see things from Kim's viewpoint. Jack had run out on her once, surely it was in her mind that he would do the same again; and having a family to run too would cause that choice to be even more strongly weighted against her.  
  
"Kim, your Dad loves you. That's why he wants you here, where he can keep you safe. What happened to you last year… he doesn't want to lose you and he understands what losing Alfie would mean to me. Please don't make the situation harder for him; the circumstances are already painfully similar to losing Teri. He needs all our support, whether we are all newly thrown together or not."  
  
As Jack returned to the car and started the engine, the conversation was dropped; though the frustration was not as easy to lose. Kim wondered how similar this situation could be for her father. Did he really love Laura as much as he'd loved his wife… was it possible to fall in love again with the same passion? If so, what did this mean for her?  
  
"Right, they know where Marc is trying to hide out and detective Anisman has confirmed that Alfie hasn't been badly harmed. We just need to get him away from Marc without any serious confrontation. They are waiting on our arrival but if anything kicks off they'll contact us about how to proceed. Then we can make every effort to extract Alfie without any harm coming to him."  
  
"Jack, talk to me like you, not like Agent Bauer. What is happening to my son?" Laura said assertively despite the discomfort caused by trying to take a more authoritative stance.  
  
"He's okay." He lied. "He and Marc argued by the looks of things and he may have struck him but he wasn't seriously hurt, Laura. Marc wants to play father, he isn't going to hurt him." Laura began to tremble once more and Jack took her face in his strong hands and looked deep into her eyes.  
  
"I love you, Laura. I'm not going to let anyone hurt our son, I promise… this will be over soon and then we will be together again… like it was before. Like my birthday… we'll go back a few weeks and none of this will matter anymore."  
  
Kim felt her skin crawl at the sound of Jack's love for his girl. How could he love her? How could someone be so in love and take on so much baggage one minute and… If he could be so honest and generous to Laura and Alfie; then where was he when she killed Kate?   
  
Eddie saw the doubt in his girlfriend's eyes and tried to comfort her worries as best he could. Kim was lost in her own pain and more importantly her own self-pity. Why couldn't Jack be the father he used to be? Why did he have to start being a man again and forget to just be her Dad?  
  
There was another tap on the driver side window and Jack reluctantly let his hands slide down from his fiancée face to clasp her hand in his own before using the other to roll down the window.  
  
"Agent Bauer, one of our officers has stopped Marc it's only a twenty minute drive from here, we need to move if we are to control this situation." Jack nodded and started the engine.  
  
"Lead on." Was all he said. The car was filled with an uncomfortable silence during the agonizingly long drive across the scrubland and into the woods, where Wagner had been stopped.  
  
"There he is…" Laura whispered with wavering breath. "Where's Alfie, Jack?" Her hand was shaking in his and he scanned the area for any sign of their boy. Nothing… a second pass… still nothing. "Oh Jack, oh God what if he has hurt him…"  
  
"Hey, hush its okay… the detective may have him in the car…" Jack tried to find something to calm Laura but as the car stopped a few yards from the action, they were both forced to face the truth. "Laura, stay here I'll deal with this now."  
  
Laura watched as her lover took charge of the situation and remained a lot calmer than she was able to do. Tears rolled down her cheeks and it was barely a minute before she disobeyed Jack and struggled out of the car to follow. It was then that she noticed Jack was very far from calm.  
  
"Where is he you bastard? Where's my son, you piece of shit?" Officer Cartwright tried to stand in Jack's way and was casually cast aside. The cop who was about to cuff Marc was shifted with little more effort and a menacingly cursory glance. Jack stepped up to Marc and snarled a little, while his left arm shot out to connect with Wagner's throat as he stumbled backwards onto the squad car behind him.   
  
"Where is he?" Jack yelled at the top of his voice. Marc was gripped with fear as Agent Bauer glared at him from only an inch or two from his face. Jack slowed his temper and took a deep breath. Then he spoke softly and dangerously into the face of his worst enemy. "If you have laid a finger on my son, I'll kill you."  
  
Marc sure had underestimated Jack Bauer and it suddenly hit him full force by just how much. He waited and held his breath tight in his chest while Jack began to calm down. Then he started to chuckle.  
  
"You can't kill me! How do you know I didn't get tired of the little wiseass, and blow him away already?" The laughter stopped about the same moment Jack's hand did, against the taller man's nose.  
  
"You fucker! You can't do that to me… I'll have you fired for that, you superior shit head!" It was Jack's turn to laugh now.  
  
"Wagner, you seriously think I won't kill you. Do you know who I am? I've killed more people than you've had hot meals, and President Palmer himself pardoned me. These guys aren't going to stop me; if they had the power I have, they'd have blown you away before I got here."  
  
"Yeah, well you do that, and your brave little soldier will be dead." Marc sneered back at him with equal attitude.  
  
Then for the first time, Jack noticed the sobs coming from behind him and turned his head to see his fiancée crying into her battered hands. His grip loosened on Wagner's throat as he stepped back a little.  
  
"Where's my son? Where is he? Where's my Alfie?" she wept and Jack held her in his arms, comforting her until he heard Marc laughing again.   
  
"I told you, he would have been better off in care!" Jack was furious and the pleading from Laura and his daughter did nothing to quell his thirst for blood.  
  
"You are going to tell me where Alfie is, or I'm going to kill you." Marc just laughed and tried to pull out of Jack's forceful grip.  
  
"But like I said Jacky boy; 'your' kid will be dead too; if you let me die before I tell you where I've kept him." Darkness had crept over Jack by this point and nothing Laura said would change his resolve now.  
  
"Oh Marc, I'm not going to let you die." He said calculatedly, in little more than a husky growl. "But don't start thinking I'm giving in to my professional responsibilities too easily. I am going to hurt you, Marc. I'm going to hurt you a lot, until you tell me exactly where my son is."  
  
"You can't hurt me." Marc replied, without the cockiness that he'd previously possessed. "These guys will report you… you'll go to jail and…" Jack smiled and his eyes widened in an omnipotent manner.   
  
"They aren't going to report me. They hate you almost as much as I do. Even if that weren't the case; I've killed some of the world's worst terrorists, do you think these traffic cops are going to try and challenge me?"  
  
"Please Jack?" came a voice over his shoulder.  
  
"Surely there is something..." Laura began stroking his arm protectively. He turned to face her and his face barely softened at all as he met with her eyes.  
  
"This is the only way, Laura. Now go sit in the car… you shouldn't see this. I'll get Alfie back, now…"  
  
But Jack had let his concentration slip for a fatal moment. Marc reached for the gun of the cop who still stood by ready to cuff him, or even perhaps follow Jack's orders to torture the Sheriff. Jack felt the cold steel against his head and the words froze in his throat. He knew what this could mean and he knew that in only a few moments all his world would be gone.  
  
Almost twenty officers squared up to get a shot on Wagner, but both Jack and Marc knew that they wouldn't fire without being sure of a hit. He looked at his daughter and her ever protective boyfriend; and he looked at the woman he had been ready to marry.  
  
"I love you" he mouthed, as he heard Marc release the safety and the barrel spin around another bullet. "I'm sorry." 


	63. Chapter SixtyThree

The cold steel pressed against his temple and for a brief moment Jack tried to recall how many times he'd been in this situation. Normally he'd have risked himself and fought back, but there were too many possible targets even if he managed to deflect the shot away, he might save himself; but he didn't trust his luck enough to risk Laura or Kim… or Eddie for that matter.  
  
He closed his eyes and waited, then the strangest thing happened… a tugging sensation in his pants and his mind flew to some wild possibilities before he opened his eyes and saw Laura pointing his revolver directly at Marc's head.  
  
"You hurt him and I'll blow you away." Her voice was strong and firm and made a mockery of the fragile and battered state she looked.  
  
"Stupid, foolish, little girl! You shoot me… Alfie is left for dead."  
  
"You don't know where my son is, Marc. Or you wouldn't be trying to bargain with us holding a gun to my fiancé's head."  
  
"I know where he is. I'll kill him if you don't let me walk away from here right now." Laura smirked.  
  
"I didn't approve of some of the lengths Jack would go to in his job… I thought it was unnecessary to harm someone for information alone… but now I'm willing to sit here and watch while my boyfriend cuts off everyone of your fingers until you tell me where our son is." She glared past Jack and his sorrowful expression. "Now put the safety back on and step away from my boyfriend or I'll put this piece of lead in your brain."  
  
Jack was terrified; though he showed it in no place but his eyes; which never moved from Laura's. He had turned her into something cruel and vengeful, and how could she still love him after that? He hated what he had to do under these kinds of circumstances and yet he'd made her become the same… become the thing he hated most about himself. Though he could never hate her, and he would never forgive himself if she got hurt because of him.  
  
"Laura you need to be careful…" Jack began in a soft voice, which would be lost on the breeze to even the closest of the cops. "You don't want to be like this… You…"  
  
"Yes Laura, honey… put the gun down before you kill all three of us. You can't use that thing. Up so close like this; you'll blow his head off yourself, if you try to shoot me."  
  
Laura's poker face couldn't keep up the pace and the fear which Marc had instilled became obvious by the frightened rabbit response. She looked to Jack, hoping his eyes could tell her what he thought she should do.  
  
"Honey, put the gun down and we'll negotiate the situation… I don't… I…" He was beginning to get a little breathless and Laura knew what was coming on. With his last semblance of authority he yelled to the other officers around them.  
  
"Holster your weapons! Don't shoot… don't anyone take a single shot. My son's life is in the balance here; now all of you holster your weapons… now!" The ten officers that surrounded them reluctantly did as they were asked. Then Jack looked at his girlfriend and told her with his eyes alone, that he loved her, before reaching out quickly and pushing her to the ground.  
  
Kim snatched Eddie's gun as she watched her father wind Marc with a sudden and brutal strike to the gut. In a flash she checked to see the gun was loaded and squared up to get a shot on Wagner and stop all this madness; the way she'd stopped the crazy situation almost four months ago.   
  
This time Jack wouldn't walk away. Whether he stayed for Laura or for his daughter or for both of them… Kim had to handle this situation the way her father would do. There was only one way to stop this; and to stop the ache in her heart. Jack had to know that she loved him… how else could she prove it, but by saving his life?  
  
Jack took a strike to his chest as he tried to move the fight from where his fiancée had fallen awkwardly against the squad car. His mind momentarily panicked, that his dumb reaction could have just harmed his unborn child; and he took a further blow to the chest. The pain in his heart was agonizing now; but he knew that he had to get the gun away from Marc or his family would soon follow him into the light.  
  
Marc tried again to get a shot on Laura, she was the one who had ruined everything… he wanted a kid, but now he just wanted to watch her die.  
  
"It's up to you, honey. You can shoot me and never see your son again… your boyfriend will probably die right here or you can trust me and let me go and go get him his medication."  
  
Laura felt the blood trickling out and her own heart pounded at what may have been happening to her. Tears ran down her face in torrents. How could she have lost Alfie and left Jack to her worst enemy and then to be losing his love child as well… her hand clenched around the gun butt and she tried to get herself up.  
  
"Laura!" Yelled Kim from behind her swimming head. "Get down!"   
  
Kim wasn't sure where her reaction came from… she considered for a split second that maybe letting Laura open herself up for Marc's shot, would have been the best thing for her relationship with her father but…   
  
"Laura! No!" Jack yelled as he clutched his chest and fell onto the sun baked dirt road with a heavy thud.   
  
The look on her father's face, made Kim's decision for her. If he lost another love, his heart would never recover and she understood the pain in his eyes. Kim darted forward, unseen by Marc as he took aim at his ex-girlfriends head. She pushed Laura aside and lined up her target.  
  
"Mommy!" Alfie squealed from the side of the road, where he had been hiding under and row of bushes. "Don't hurt my Mommy!"  
  
The yell startled Marc long enough for Kim to get a clear shot and the bang that echoed around the wasteland, felt like a thunder clap in her ears. Eddie stumbled forward and grabbed Alfie before he ran into danger, dragging the boy's face away into the confines of his thick sweater… the kid had enough fodder for nightmares already.  
  
Three more direct hits on Marc's head and the left and right of his chest and the family's nightmare was over. No one spoke for a long moment. The air was rich with the scent of gunpowder and Jack was reminded not of the terrible pain he'd seen and brought about in his life… but Thanksgiving and the firecrackers he'd let off in their yard on Kim's twelfth birthday. He wheezed and squeezed at his chest and then the daylight flickered out and his heart began to falter.  
  
"I'm sorry." He whispered as he recognized the scent of his lover's perfume against his face. "I love you so much…" 


	64. Chapter SixtyFour

Kim pulled her father's SUV into the ambulance bay of the Samaritan Regional Hospital and tried not to think the worst. This time he had been out for a long time… a hell of a lot longer than back at Laura's apartment. Despite Laura's constant reassurances from the back seat, that Jack was still breathing; Kim still felt extremely terrified of what could happen if she really did lose her father. Suddenly whether or not he had someone else to love, didn't really matter. He could have completely forgotten the love he and Teri shared and it wouldn't matter anymore. All Kim wanted now, was to have her father healthy and happy and by her side. So what if Laura and her kid tagged along… she had Eddie too, after all.  
  
"Miss, do you know what your father was taking for his heart condition?" asked an exceedingly rushed and fretful doctor. Kim reached into the glove box and took out the remainder of her father's medication and handed it to the young dark-haired intern.  
  
"Is this everything?" Kim stalled as she turned back to the doctor, and then nodded. He turned round to see Jack put on a stretcher and Laura leaning over him trying to bring him back.   
  
"I'm afraid only one of you will be able to stay with him at first and we need to take him into surgery by the looks of things. Are you his wife?" Laura looked stunned and terrified for Jack and their whole family for that matter. "Ma'am, you really don't look too well yourself… I think we should get all of you treated… if you'll follow me?"  
  
Kim got out of the car and went to Laura's side. Alfie clung to his mother's hand and was clearly in shock himself. Eddie put his arm around his girlfriend while he waited for the orderly with a second wheelchair.  
  
"Laura, you go with Dad, if you want to… he needs you… I can watch Alfie and I'll be right there and…"  
  
"No, Kim you should be with your father and I need treatment myself… I… oh God!" She started to sob and clung to Jack's lifeless hand. "Oh Jack, please don't leave me now!" Kim looked at the woman she'd been determined to hate with as much passion as Jack clearly loved her. She couldn't let her cry alone like that. She reached out and gave her a hug and ruffled Alfie's hair.  
  
"Come on, Dad is a tough guy. He won't…" But she couldn't say it. She didn't want to even think it, none of them did. "He'll be fine, when the doctors do stuff and…"  
  
"Mommy, don't let Jack die like Daddy did… please Mommy, I didn't mean to go with Marc I'm sorry that you got hurt and… I want Jack to be okay. He will be my Daddy if he's okay, won't he? He will won't he Mom?" Laura didn't know what to say. All of a sudden all she could think was that their baby was gone and that Jack might never wake up and in her sons eyes it all seemed like his fault and she was the only one who could fix it. She was the only one who could stop that lone parent nightmare beginning again.  
  
"Yes, Alfie. Jack really wants to be your Daddy…" Alfie looked up with surprise as he heard the young lady who had shot Marc, talk to him affectionately. "Of course he wants to be your Daddy, he told me all about you playing cops and robbers and shooting hoops and stuff."  
  
"He did?" Alfie said excitedly. "Really?" Kim nodded and took Alfie's hand.   
  
"Come on let's go inside with these doctors and let them fix… Mommy and Daddy and Eddie too, while they are at it… then we can all go home, okay?" Alfie grinned and Laura felt the tears welling up in her eyes. "I think Dad left this for you, Laura." Kim said handing her the thin pale envelope from the glove box with her name on the front, in Jack's spidery scrawl. Laura took the envelope and smiled at Kim.  
  
"You go with him until he goes to surgery, then they can fix you up at the same time and I'll look after Alfie and come in with you when they have Dad stabilized." Laura couldn't hide her tears and the two women clung to each other and cried for a long moment before the doctors took them inside and began to do tests on Jack.  
  
His surgery took almost three hours and Laura and Eddie were taken away for treatment separately. Kim and Alfie were getting along well and somehow, having to protect her 'would be' little brother helped Kim distance her mind from the nagging terror of losing her father.  
  
"Miss Bauer?" said a shy sounding doctor. Kim nodded and held Alfie's hand as a nervous expression found its way to his quivering lips. "Your father is out of surgery now. I'm afraid he won't be conscious for some time yet… but if you and your brother would like to sit with him?" Kim froze for a moment. It seemed strange that someone was talking about her brother. She had been an only child for her first seventeen years and then she'd had the promise of a sibling… Jack had longed for a son and Kim and he had talked about the 'what ifs' occasionally. Okay this wasn't the same but…  
  
"Yes, thank you doctor. Alfie and I will go in if that's okay? Have you told Laura?" The doctor looked confused. "She had to have treatment too; she is my father's fiancée and Alfie's Mom."  
  
"Oh I thought… sorry. It's just you look so much like your Dad…" The doctor said, looking at Alfie. Kim started a little, as she looked at how similar they were in many ways. Alfie had the same strong cheekbones and a cute button nose; that while clearly seeming more childlike, was still strangely alike. Only his wide, brown eyes looked quite obviously inherited from his mother. Alfie smiled at his new sister, with a confused expression.  
  
"I think we should go and find Mommy, before we go in; she wouldn't want to be left out, hey kiddo?" Alfie grinned and took Kim's hand tight in his own as they followed Doctor Haslett down towards Laura's room.  
  
"If you'll wait just a moment, I'll make sure the radiologist is finished with her." The doctor went inside but let the door slightly ajar, enabling Kim to over hear what was said. At first she never meant to listen, but as Alfie started muttering to his teddy bear again she felt her ears prick up to the nearby conversation.  
  
"You have been extremely lucky, Ms Fletcher. It seems the little one is more resilient than both its parents put together. There is no sign of harm, and the blood loss may just have been through stress. Goodness knows there has been a lot of it today, yes?"  
  
"It is… the other doctor said that… during the attack…" Laura said anxiously.  
  
"There was no sign of interference at all Ms Fletcher, and we took the liberty of doing a DNA test, since the whole family has taken over our treatment rooms this afternoon." The doctor was trying to keep her calm until the results arrived, then Kim was asked to move as a nurse came through the door.  
  
"Doctor Haslett, I have the results of the urgent DNA test you asked for." Laura glanced quickly in the young man's direction and spotted Kim beside the door. Her initial reaction was one of dread. They hadn't really hit it off well at first and Laura was still unsure of how Jack's daughter really felt towards her. There were two ways to deal with this from her dazed point of view. Either to ignore the girl's presence until she had something stronger to go on or risk the fact that she'd take it badly but invite her in to be with her in this time of need regardless.  
  
"Kim!" She called in a dry throaty whisper. "Can you come in here, please… I'd really rather not be alone for this." Kim smiled and tapped Alfie on the arm before bringing him in to see his mother.  
  
"Okay, just tell me yes or no, okay? Is it Jack's?" The doctor smiled and nodded. "Oh God, really? We… gosh, we talked about it… he dreamt… he wanted a little boy… well he said he dreamt it was a boy… but I didn't even know I was… I don't even know if we had…"  
  
"We can do an ultra sound if you want us to." The doctor offered. Laura looked tense and waited to see how Kim may react. There was no obvious sign that she cared one way or another. She just looked pretty surprised.  
  
"Is there anyway, that we can do this with Jack… I mean, so he can see it too… with me... with us?" At that, Kim let free her feelings and squeezed Laura's hand. "This is a family thing… I'd like us to be able to share it from the start."  
  
An hour later they were all in a private double room just off the courtyard, and Jack reached to hold his fiancée's hand as the doctor squeezed cold jelly over her abdomen. Eddie was hunched in a chair at the end of Jack's bed and Alfie sat next to his Mom with Kim.  
  
"Would you like to know the sex?" the doctor enquired without even looking away from the screen. Jack glanced at the screen and then looked back to his girl.  
  
"It's a boy… I've already been told." Laura looked a little hurt as he eyes met with her lover's knowing glance. "No they didn't tell me… it was…" He looked at his daughter and gave her a bittersweet smile. "It was Teri."   
  
He laughed to break the silence he had created. "Maybe it's these crazy drugs I've been taking… she told me it was time to get it together… time to get on… that he would have my eyes. She knew… I… oh maybe I'm going mad." Laura squeezed his hand reassuringly and he gave her an understanding smile.   
  
"Well if it's a girl it could still be right, Dad. I mean maybe Mom was talking about this little tyke." She tickled Alfie and he wriggled out of her grip. "I mean all the doctor's are saying he looks just like his Daddy." Jack thought she was jealous at first but then he caught the cheeky smile cross her face and relaxed.   
  
"Well girl or boy, it doesn't matter so long as they are okay and they are ours." He paused and Laura knew all the things he wanted to say without a single word being passed between them. "But it is a boy right?" He chuckled.  
  
"Yes Mr Bauer… he's a very lively little one too. There are no signs of anything being wrong… though we don't have the equipment to see who he resembles most right now." Jack grinned and Laura's heart lifted up to finally see him so happy. It had been a long time coming but finally the dream could come true.  
  
"Well these two seem pretty good looking so this little one must be pretty darn handsome too, I reckon." Jack laughed and rubbed at his chest a little as he tensed just a little too much.  
  
"Okay I think, Mommy and Daddy need some rest, maybe you kids can go find something to eat? There is a movie playing in the annex building… Spiderman, I think it is…" Alfie's eyes lit up and Kim laughed.  
  
"Sure let's go watch Spiderman and leave Mommy and Daddy to… rest." She left it deliberately, and Laura blushed a little as Jack caught her eye with a look of barely hidden desire.  
  
"Kim found your letter." Laura said as she lay back down on the edge of Jack's bed. He stroked a curl of hair from her cheek and leant close to kiss her bruised skin. It pained him to see her beautiful, kind face so beaten and he looked at her worried and confused.  
  
"Letter?" He asked while still caressing her softly. Laura laughed and shook her head a little surprised.  
  
"You left it in the car… said you loved me and that you would never leave me again." Jack held her as tight as he could and his lips met hers in a sweet and tender kiss.  
  
"That's right. I'm never leaving you again and that's a promise. I'm going to be with you every step of the way and Georgie here is going to make our family perfect… even if he is stuck with my chipmunk teeth!"   
  
Laura laughed and they chattered away for hours rather than going to sleep. Sometimes time can go back just enough it seems. Sometimes you get a second chance and very occasionally you know what to do with it. 


	65. Chapter SixtyFive

Two and a half joyful years had swept by, and although Jack couldn't be happier; he was finding his, so called sedentary, home life rather exhausting. Laura smiled as she watched him sprawled across the tan leather couch, decorated by various canvas books and cuddly toys. It was the same as it had always been and he didn't change. He was dependable now and devoted to his family.   
  
It was Saturday morning and even the doorbell chiming loudly in the hallway of their West Hollywood home wasn't enough to drag Jack out of his much needed slumbers.  
  
"Hi Eddie, Kim is in the garden with Alfie. We all had quite an evening last night…" Eddie smiled and kissed Laura on the cheek.  
  
"Well you seem to be holding up well. I hope Kim is as beautiful after so many sleepless nights!" Laura chuckled and waved off her son-in law's compliment. "So what's the plan for today? When are people showing up?"  
  
"Kim's supposedly setting the trellis tables out in the garden now… but I think Alfie may be distracting her with basketball. Honestly I wish Jack could have taught him some quiet hobby sometimes!" She shook her head with faux despondency. "Guests are arriving at about one, but I really don't think I'll be looking 'beautiful' by then!" Eddie laughed and headed off into the garden to help his wife with the Christening preparations.  
  
"Oh Eddie, find someway to get that ball from Alfie, can you? He's only going to…" But no sooner had she begun to speak than a crash was heard from the garden and Laura sighed and pulled her exhausted face.  
  
"Its okay, Mom." Eddie smirked. "I'll sort it all out." Laura stroked his arm and headed upstairs. Jack woke with a start and fell sideways off the edge of the couch.  
  
"Jesus!" he cursed as he hit his hip on the edge of the coffee table. "What the…" He stood up and rubbed his hip through the thin cotton shorts, then looked around for some sign of where he was or what he was supposed to be doing. For a moment he couldn't remember how the hell he had got downstairs at all. He was sure he'd gone straight to bed when they got in from the presidential dinner. All he was wearing were his shorts and there was no sign of his tux or any hangover… how did he get on the couch then? He scratched his head and tried to recall days when he knew what everyone was doing before they did it. Children seemed to put a stop to such things.  
  
He wandered out towards the kitchen to see what had woken him from the most pleasant dream he'd had in a long time. He squinted out into the bright sunlit garden and saw the calamity that had woken him from the French windows.  
  
"Dad, I'm really sorry. It was an accident." Alfie said looking up with a nervous expression, from the broken pieces of ceramic and the soil of one of the hanging baskets.  
  
"Alfie!" Kim shouted. "Be careful and watch what you are doing, you'll cut yourself and…" Eddie was there now too, and the three of them tried to brush away the evidence before Laura got back to find her mother's Christmas gift smashed to smithereens on the patio floor. Jack just sighed and smiling wryly, he wandered off to find a cup of coffee.  
  
"Alfie, lets put the ball away now okay? Grandma and Pop will be here soon and…"  
  
The words trailed off as Jack remembered what day it was. Six months of preparation and planning, mostly by his wife; had led to his first patch of quality time with his mother and father together, in almost twenty-five years. He was dreading every minute of it and coffee certainly wasn't strong enough to take away his apprehensions. Thank goodness there would be a few drinks to wet the babies head.  
  
"Dad!" Kim called from the garden causing him to glance up and search out her face in the bright sun. Maybe he had been drinking at Palmer's dinner last night after all. He listened to his daughter ad wondered if his wife had made him sleep on the couch last night and would be mad at him any minute.  
  
"Should I dump this or… can you fix it?" He walked out barefoot and leant out of the door to see the destruction.   
  
"Chuck it, Laura never liked it anyway. I'll be damned if I'm gluing that ugly-assed thing back together for Janice's sake anyway." Kim frowned and he smirked down at her knowing she was about to tell him off, before walking over the lawn to the bench by the tool shed. He was two steps from the door when Kim yelled out to him, 'not to bother'. So nicotine was also off the list of havens today too.  
  
He watched the three musketeers, as he not so affectionately, called them; clean up the damaged pot and then argue about the choice of playing ball and building tables. God he felt tired enough to curl up right there on the bench and go back to sleep. He probably would have done had his son not come stumbling across the lawn in his diaper and vest.  
  
"Where's your Daddy, Georgie?" Laura said walking across the lawn in her blue silk robe and pumps. "Hello sleepy head." Jack picked up their son and leant close to kiss his wife good morning. He felt strange, everything seemed to be a weird dream that warm summer morning and he couldn't put his finger on why that was.  
  
"You aren't mad at me, are you?" Jack asked as he tickled his little boy's tummy and avoided Laura's eyes. She shook her head and frowned.  
  
"Of course not silly, I love you. Honestly Jack, I don't know where your head is sometimes. You aren't still bothered about Jack and Alice being here together are you? I told your Mom and Pop that they have to be nice to each other or they don't get to hold Georgie in the photos."   
  
Jack smirked as sense seemed to make a fleeting visit to his mind. Georgie was gibbering away in his arms and pinching clumps of chest hair in his fingers. Jack winced as his little boy began his affectionate torture and Laura seemed able to read his mind.  
  
"Takes after his Daddy. I told you that when he decided to be a football player in the womb." Jack smiled and prized his son's steel grip open, so he could stop biting through his tongue in order to hide the pain.  
  
"Little man, you know international terrorists don't cause that much agony!" Georgie giggled at the funny face his Daddy pulled and ignored whatever the words meant. "I'm serious!" Jack smirked before blowing a raspberry on his son's belly and causing him to shriek with laugher.  
  
"Why was I stuck on the couch last night… I didn't make any tasteless jokes about Mrs Palmer again did I?" Laura chuckled and stroked her husband's arm.   
  
"No you were a good boy… very good in fact…" Jack smirked and wriggled and eyebrow. "Not that good. You took Georgie down to get him to sleep, so you didn't wake Kim."   
  
"Kids!" he said in mock annoyance. "I don't know how we are going to do all this, sweetheart. I'm so tired and I haven't even got back to work yet. Then with bump on the way…" Laura stroked and kissed his lips and gave him a big caring smile.   
  
"You'll be great, as usual."  
  
"You did good Jack. Look at them!" His blood ran cold for a moment and suddenly his strange feeling made sense. Laura was telling him about the Christening plans again but quickly realised he wasn't paying attention.  
  
"Jack, what's the matter?" Laura asked, beginning to get rather concerned.  
  
"This… today… it is all so…" He looked across at the three musketeers playing basketball and grinned as his eldest son called out to show off his drop shot.  
  
"Look Daddy, I can do it now… Look Dad, look!" But Kim snatched the ball away and Alfie looked confused for a second before running after her and getting frustrated that he couldn't snatch the ball away.  
  
"Jack? Honey, are you okay?" Laura said taking Georgie from him and combing his curls aside with her fingers. He nodded and there was the voice again.  
  
"He has your eyes, Jack. I have to go now… take care of them all okay?"  
  
"I dreamt this, Laura. Do you remember… when we started dating and you gave me your Pa's ring and…"  
  
"Teri?" She said in little more than a whisper. He nodded and instinctively put his arms around his wife and son, protectively.  
  
"I guess this is us now… my family…" he sighed and a bittersweet smile played on his thin lips. Laura knew what he was feeling and understood the confusion alongside that over whelming happiness that consumed them both more each day.  
  
"I love you, Jack." She smiled.  
  
"I love you too, Laura." 


End file.
